


scars & tattoos

by natblihda



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - The 100 (TV) Fusion, Clexa, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, POV Clarke Griffin, clexa au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:35:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23013355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natblihda/pseuds/natblihda
Summary: Clarke had the perfect life. head of the trauma department. dating Finn Collins. But when she loses a patient and gets put on probation, she feels like her whole life has collapsed, and nothing feels like it should, until she meets Lexa. They quickly bond, and Lexa seem to understand her like no one else. Clarke quickly invites her into her friendgroup, but notices Finn is getting jelous.A lot of shit happens, it's gonna be a long fanfiction. Clexa canon is slowburn, but endgame. (Don't worry tho they don't get together right at the end, there will be plenty of clexa relationship written)princess mechanic friendship, lexaven friendship, a little bit of angst , ranya, murphy & bellamy and other characters will come further into the fanfiction
Relationships: Anya/Raven Reyes, Bellamy Blake & John Murphy, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 165
Kudos: 411





	1. Chapter 1.

A sigh escaped Clarke’s lips as she inhaled the cold air, the sting of it laying over her where she stood on the balcony. She heard steps and felt a warm hand on her bare back and looked to her side to see Finn. “Your mother called you back in, you can’t hide on the balcony all night. After all how often do you get to go to a ball?” Clarke suppressed a sigh and turned to him. “More often than you’d think when you’re the daughter of the hospital owner and the head over the trauma surgeon department… well was at least.”

She saw Finn’s gaze avert downwards to their feet where two cigarette stumps were hidden in a conveniently located plant. “Again?” Finn asked and Clarke sighed. “Let’s go in.” Finn suggested and Clarke nodded and followed him inside, relieved he didn’t start an argument about her bad new habit.

Finn released his hand on her back, his fingertips grazing the fabric of her black dress, cut low in the back and running all the way down to her high heels. She walked inside ahead of him, her gaze going around at couples eating, dancing, talking and laughing. She found her mother in a group of people and approached them quickly, moving to stand next to Abby.

“Honey, there you are. Let me introduce you to Lexa Woods, our very generous donor to help make the hospital wing a reality.”

Clarke’s gaze shifted to the woman wearing a spotless looking suit, brown chestnut curls spilling down her left blazer clad shoulder. “Nice to meet you.” She extended an arm and studied the woman, high cheekbones and a sharp jaw defining her face with plump, pink lips and piercing green eyes. “Likewise.” The woman said and took her hand, a small spark of interest lighting in Clarke before it died, feeling her mom gaze on her and she shifted a bit uncomfortable.

She wasn’t supposed to be here, and she knew it. But the board couldn’t keep her out of the ball and her mother wouldn’t allow her to stay away from it. “I suppose we owe you our gratitude for your large donation miss Woods.” Clarke said stiffly and the brunette raised a brow.

“Not really, I didn’t donate to get gratitude. And feel free to call me Lexa, but if you’ll excuse me I’ll go help myself to a drink.” She left them and heaed for the bar and Abby smiled at Clarke, leaning closer to her. “Isn’t she a looker?” She asked with a smile and Clarke nodded, feeling Finn shift behind her and she turned to him. “Don’t worry babe you’re a looker too.” She smiled and he chuckled. “Yeah I know, that’s why you’re marrying me right?” He joked stiffly and Clarke stifled a sigh, for probably the hundredth time tonight and mustered a smile.

“I’m gonna go get a drink as well.” She said and trailed after Lexa and left Finn, her soon to be engaged, as he refers it as. When he had brought up the idea of marriage, she had quickly told him she wasn’t ready for that talk yet. Luckily it had been enough to keep the meant to be secret wedding ring in Finn’s pocket, but since then he continuingly kept bringing up the topic of marriage in their discussions, probably scanning Clarke’s reaction for a sign that she finally was ready.

She arrived by the bar next to Lexa and watched her get served a drink. “I’ll have what she’s having.” She said and was given a glass of scotch, neat, and took a slow sip. “Would have taken you for a wine drinker.” Lexa said and Clarke raised a brow, seating next to her on one of the barstools. “As long as there’s booze in it I’d drink anything.” Clarke responded, taking another swig. “Yeah thank god for open bar right?” Lexa said and Clarke prodded an eyebrow towards the ceiling of her forehead. “Yes because I bet you couldn’t afford to pay for your drinks, big shot.” She said, earning a smile from the tight lipped brunette.

“Maybe paying for your wing cleaned me out.” Lexa quipped back. “It’s not my wing, but of course, let me buy you a drink then.” Clarke nodded the bartender for two more drinks and smirked at the brunette. Lexa put down her empty glass. “That’s a cheap trick. Not even going to pay for the drink you’re so called buying me?” She turned to Clarke with her full body and Clarke did the same, the two girls facing each other completely.

“You want me to pay for a free drink?” Clarke asked. “Or you could take me out some other night.” Lexa answered, looking pleased with herself for steering the conversation in the exact direction she wished for it to go. “I’m engaged.” Clarke said, no point in beating around the bush.

“No ring. Is he as cheap as you are? Or if this is your way of getting out of buying me a drink then I can pay.” Lexa teased. “No, I actually have a boyfriend, and he’s coming this way.” Clarke nodded at Finn who were closing in on them. “Boyfriend? A second ago it was fiance.” Lexa raised a brow.

“Well in any aspect I’m taken.” Clarke said in a hushed tone right before Finn reached them. “There you are. Yapping about girl stuff?” He asked and Lexa tilted her head. “Yes, we were comparing shades of pink nail polish.” She rolled her eyes and rose. “Enjoy your night Klark.” She said and left them without another word. “Did I say something wrong?” Finn asked confused. “Don’t worry about it.” Clarke said and looked after Lexa who she saw just passed another brunette and Clarke grinned. “Raven!” it was enough to make Lexa turn around to glance back at her, and then her gaze met Raven’s. Raven smirked, but Lexa passed her and continued walking. Clarke hurried up to Raven and pulled her into a hug.

“Who’s the hottie? Anyone you know?” She asked and Clarke shook her head. “You know she’s just your type.” Raven pointed out. “Standing right here Reyes.” Finn glared at her. “I can see that Finn I’m just choosing to ignore you.” Raven quipped back. Clarke sighed. Ever since Raven and Finn dated in high school and had an ugly breakup they never managed to quite get along, and when Clarke and Finn had started dating years later, with Raven’s insurance that it was fine but with her insistence that Clarke deserved better, she had never quite managed to get them to be friends. “Well if you’re not gonna tap that you should let me.” Raven said, pulling Clarke out of her thoughts. “Oh. Uh, I.. I mean you talk as if I can do anything about it, I literally just had one conversation with her.” She said, a small wrinkle appearing between her eyebrows. “Perfect! That’s enough to introduce us.” Raven grinned.

Clarke looked around the room but she was nowhere to be seen. “I think she left..” She said before seeing her chatting up some board members, and bit her lip. “Oh there she is. But I don’t want to disturb her..” She said, but Raven had already grabbed her arm and was dragging her towards the brunette.

They approached the group, the board members turning to Clarke awkwardly. “Miss Griffin.. nice to see you here.” One of them said, a woman in her thirties. “Nice to see you to Janice, you’re looking well.”

Janice nodded. They hated this. Someone who was a respected colleague and maybe even a friend was now someone they had to access and hold her future in their hands. Clarke knew they wanted to cut all ties to simplify it for them. “Excuse me.” Janice took off and Clarke looked at the two remaining board members, “We’re going to look at the spread, my stomach’s churning.” One said and they quickly left. Lexa turned to her and raised a brow. “That was interesting to watch. What was that?” She asked.

“Nothing important. Lexa, this is Raven. Raven is a personal trainer and owns an inspiration & lifestyle blog that’s very popular, Lexa just invested money for a new children's wing at the hospital.” Lexa turned to Raven, seemingly taking her in for a moment, her gaze remaining natural, maybe even uninterested. “Nice to meet you Raven.” She said before turning back to Clarke. “Where is your boyfriend/ fiance?” She asked with an amusing look.

“Oh he’s, you know, mingling and socializing. He’s great with people. He doesn’t go off just because someone made a comment about your gender.” Clarke said, feeling rather proud of herself from keeping away at Lexa’s teasing amusement. “Well no of course not when he is the one making the comments. Or is that just usually what you do, find strange girls to drink scotch and have.. girl talks with?” Clarke raised a brow and folded her arms over her chest. “Maybe he can step his foot in his mouth sometimes but at least he doesn’t make assumptions about people and act superior, like he knows everything.”

Raven looked back and forth between them during the interactions. “What did I miss? Finn’s being an ass again?” She asked amused and Lexa smirked. Clarke sighed at the two brunettes and shook her head. “I’ll leave you two to it, I’m sure you’ll have a great time. You already seem to have a lot in common.” She turned to leave but felt a hand wrap around her upper arm. Assuming it was Raven she turned around with a sigh only to find herself mere inches away from Lexa’s face, now seeming regretful and sincere. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make assumptions.” She said and Clarke examined her gaze before nodding. “It’s okay.” She said, trying to keep casually but strangely moved by Lexa’s change and show of sincerity.

“I’ll.. let you finish this, I’ll get us all drinks.” Raven said and took off and Clarke glanced after her, clearing her throat when she was out of hearing reach. “Want to make it up to me? My friend thinks you’re interesting. Why don’t you take her out for drinks?” Lexa looked at her surprised, her gaze flickering to Raven for a second before returning to Clarke. “I’m sorry, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Besides I should get going, but tell your friend goodbye from me.” And with that her hand released from Clarke’s upper arm and she walked away, in a moment gone in the crowd.  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“It’ll be good to show people.. the board for example, that you’re still a part of this hospital.” Abby said, shuffling a fork through her garden green salad. “Except that I’m not. I’m not still a part of this hospital.” Clarke said as they were sitting down in the hospital cafeteria to eat some lunch.  
“Of course you are honey. The final vote isn’t too far away and I’m sure the board will vote for your return. Everyone makes mistakes, they know that, and you’ve done more for this hospital then they ever could have asked for.”

Abby looked at her with her trademark worried mom look. “Except other people’s mistake didn’t lead to someone’s death.” Clarke said firmly, tired of having this discussion. “He might have died anyways Clarke, don’t put that on yourself. And think of how many people you have saved as a trauma surgeon.” Clarke sighed. It didn’t matter how many lives she saved.

She made a mistake, and because of it someone died. She deserved to be banished for good, not just put on a leave of absence with full pay. Of course if the board finally made a decision and decided to fire her, she’d be unemployed. A 28 year old with no sense of purpose with her life. Working at the hospital was all she knew.

She shot the plate away from her, not in the mood to eat anymore and she leaned back. “Thanks for lunch mom.” She grabbed her bag from the back of the chair before rising and kissed her moms cheek. “I’ll call you.” She said, and without another word walking out of the hospital grounds.

She went for a long walk before finding herself walking into a bar. She and her mom had a late lunch, but it was still just a quarter to four. Oh well, what was the saying? It was 5pm somewhere right? She wondered who had decided that 5pm was the time where it was acceptable to start drinking as she seated by the empty bar, the only customers in the place three guys in a booth by the entrance, drinking beer and talking. “How can I help you?” Asked the bartender, a woman in her forties, with a wrinkled face and kind eyes. “Uhm..” Maybe she should just go home. “An old fashioned?” She said and the bartender got to work.

Clarke hung her purse on the barstool that thankfully had a comfortable sitting pad and a back, and leaned back into it. Her drink was placed in front of her on a napkin and she moved her fingers around it, tracing the shaped patterns in the glass. She sighed and took a sip, letting it wash into her mouth and swallowed it, savouring the taste. “It’s delicious, thank you.” She said which won her a smile from the bartender who then walked into some sort of side room.

“Of all the pubs in all of the world huh.” Clarke had heard the creaky front door open and close but hadn’t paid it any attention. Now she turned around to face Lexa, the woman from the hospital ball, approaching her. “Can I take a seat?” She asked and Clarke nodded. “Not my pub.” She said, even though she knew what Lexa meant. “You ran out quickly the other night.” She continued and Lexa, after seating, crossing her suit clad legs and turned towards her, giving her all of her focus, nodded. “I’m not much for.. pointless interactions and small talk.. events like that bore me.”

Clarke scoffed. “I see so talking to my friend and me was a pointless interaction, boring?” She asked and Lexa groaned. “No. I meant with people besides you. You were actually the most interesting part of my evening, all though it seems I keep accidentally insulting you.”

Clarke smiled, she found her interesting? “No, don’t worry you haven’t.” She ensured her and Lexa nodded. “Good.” She looked at the bar, patiently waiting until the woman came back out and smiled. “Drink?” She asked and glanced at Clarke’s. “I’ll have what she’s having.” She said and turned back to Clarke. “Put it on my tab.” Clarke added to the bartender and Lexa smiled. “So you’re not too cheap to buy me a real drink huh.” Clarke chuckled, lowering her gaze quickly as she eyed Lexa’s outfit. “So you work in an office. Is investor your main game or do you work as something else, like.. a lawyer? And why don’t you change right after work, that can’t be too comfortable.”

Lexa leaned back slightly. “I’m impressed, you’re good. I do invest in a lot of different things and companies, but I own my own company. And I’m coming straight from work, not that these are really that uncomfortable.” Clarke smiled. “I would have changed into sweats at work and just carried the suit home in my bag.” She confessed and Lexa raised a brow. “Wrinkling up a suit like this in a bag is a travesty.” She searched Clarke’s gaze.

“So, girl who hates assumptions, what more do you think you can assume about me?” She asked teasingly. “Hey! That’s not fair!” Clarke chuckled. “I didn’t do it in an.. assumptious way, just making guesses to pass the time.” She defended herself and Lexa nodded. “Well then, by all means continue. No offense will be taken.” Clarke looked at her surprised and then studied her, biting her lip as she searched for clues about her. “You like spending money on things you find worth it but you don’t care much for what other people think about the way you dress. You have a simple but classy style… and you have a distaste for people who spend hours searching for the perfect outfit or am obsessed with having the most popular brands or doing something for appearance only. Am I right?”

Lexa seemed surprised, taking a moment before answering. “Regarding the part about me, and my.. style, or whatever you wish to call it.. yes. But I don’t have a distaste for what other people choose to prioritize, all though I will admit the people you describe isn’t really the type of people I will normally choose to surround myself with.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes. “Normally.. does that mean you place me in that category? Be honest.” Lexa shook her head. “I don’t.. just you should never say never right? You never know.”

Clarke tilted her head. “Do you think my friend Raven is that type of person? Is that why you turned her down?” Lexa seemed surprised by the mention of her. “No,” She’s just not my type.” Lexa answered. “Prettyyyyy sure she’s everyone's type Lexa.” Clarke arched a brow. “But I’ll play along.. what is your type then? Let me guess, blondes?” She joked.

“No. Raven just.. seem like one of those people who have everything together. Personal trainer, lifestyle blog..” Clarke was surprised by her answer. “Are you telling me you’re not one of those people, bigshot?” She asked curiously and Lexa chuckled. “God no.” She replied. “Okay. Well, say that you’re right and she is, which I’m not saying is the truth. What’s wrong with that?”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, just..” The brunette hesitated. “People like that, they don’t need to put their focus on themselves in the same way, so they might put it into their partner.” Lexa stopped there and Clarke leaned slightly closer, definitely intrigued. “Why is that bad? Got any skeletons rotting in your closet you need to keep secret?” She asked and Lexa chuckled. “Oh yes. Many skeletons.” Clarke joined her laughter, before closing and opening her mouth, hesitating, wondering if she was probing to far. “And maybe you’re scared that if people can see them they’ll help you clean them out and move on with your life.. and you’re not ready for that.”

Silence. Oh god, the silence lasted too long. Lexa’s laughter had died out, and the seconds she had been silent had felt like eons. Her gaze, her face, had suddenly changed, become a poker face, hiding any emotions or thoughts perfectly, but Lexa’s gaze was exploring Clarke’s, as if she was trying to read Clarke’s mind. Her lips parted, only slightly, and for a moment she seemed to struggle with how to react, what to answer.

“That was pretty insightful ms. Griffin. Maybe you’re actually one of those people who have it all together.” She said it with a serious tone, but with a playful smile and a glimt in her eyes telling Clarke she was back on safe waters. “Oh trust me I’m not.” Clarke chuckled, Lexa’s gaze turning exploring again but she said nothing, just taking a sip from her drink before leaning back again, folding her hands in her lap. “Okay, Clarke. Last chance to make another guess. Then this museum piece is out of the exhibit.”

Clarke chuckled, smiling at her and sipped her drink, thinking for a minute, chewing on the inside of her lip, trying to find something meaningful from the little information she knew about Lexa and from the impression she got from her company when she thought of something. “Well.. You own a business, you’re an investor.. you buy expensive suits and invest money into a hospital simply because you want to help people, not to make money.”

Lexa raised a brow. “What’s your point?” She asked. That you’re genuinely a good person, Clarke thought for a second, but that wasn’t the conclusion she had reached. “That you have a lot of money. So wherever you live, I’m guessing you have some little collection of whiskey glasses and some fine whiskeys and maybe more at home. Am I right?”

Lexa nodded, still not getting it. “Yeah, so? What’s your point?” She repeated, and Clarke’s breath caught in her throat, maybe she shouldn’t say it. Maybe she shouldn’t tell a nice stranger that Clarke think she’s lonely, because despite not liking small talk and social events, Lexa still chose to walk into a shabby bar to drink instead of going home, changing into comfortable clothes, pouring herself some whiskey and maybe listen to some music or watch tv.

Clarke cleared her throat, moving her hand to it and glanced at her. “Hm.. just that, you kind of drink a lot.” She said, Lexa looking at her surprised before Clarke burst out in a maneuvered laughter. “I’m just kidding Lexa. I don’t think I have anymore theories or.. assumptions.” Lexa nodded, relaxing more and chuckled. “I have to say I’m relieved there. Wouldn’t want you to find out all my secrets right away.” She smirked.

They both finished their drinks, the question hanging in the air, should they get one more together? When Lexa opened her mouth, starting to say “would you like..” Clarke’s phone rang. She scooped up the device, shooting Lexa an apologetic look and answered.

“Hey O. Yeah, I know. Of course.. I’m on my way. See you soon babe.” She hung up, feeling Lexa’s gaze on her, and she looked up to meet it, almost hearing Lexa mockingly say, ‘babe?’ but she never did. “Got somewhere to be?” she asked instead and Clarke nodded and rose. “I’m sorry, I would actually love to stay and chat but..” Lexa nodded. “It’s alright. Some other time maybe.” She said and Clarke nodded. “I’d like that.” She said with a smile before heading out.  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lexa held back a sigh, her hand going to her empty drink, wondering whether or not to order a new one by herself when she heard steps closing in, and suddenly a click, right by her ear. She looked to her side to see Clarke having returned, holding an ink pen that she had clicked to get the pen tip out of it’s holding. Lexa studied it, it wasn’t any old pen, she could see. The rim was gold, maybe even real, the material of good quality. “It’ll be helpful to switch contacts if we wanna meet some other time right? Unless we want to count on fate having our backs and putting us in each others paths again.” Clarke chuckled, using the pen to scribble digits on Lexa’s unused napkin.

It was pretty rare for people to carry around pens, especially pens like that, unless they were bankers or.. Lexa was brought out of her haze when Clarke put a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at her, meeting Clarke’s gaze. For a moment they just looked into each others eyes, unable to move and Lexa swallowed. Clarke seemed to catch herself and looked down with a faint blush before heading out. The next second she was out again, only seconds after she had first headed for the door, the encounter having happened in a whirlwind. There was something about Clarke, Lexa thought. She seemed special. She looked down at the napkin, touching the edge of it, Clarke long gone by now.

Ten digits was written across it, in a rather sloppy yet beautiful handwriting. A phone number.


	2. Chapter 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and her friends goes out to cheer up Octavia but the night takes an unexpected turn!

“Whatever, her loss!” Octavia said, rather loudly. A shot glass in hand, more in her system. “If this Lexa thinks she’s too good for you Raven forget her. Sure she’s hot but I’m hot too and I’ll always be here for you.” She said, definitely getting drunker by the minute, rambling more by the second. Lexa. She hadn’t just blown Raven off by dismissing her at the ball, she had also blown Clarke off. It had been three days since they met in the bar but she hadn’t gotten as much as a text. Not that she had told anyone about their encounter.. “Thanks babe.” Raven said, chuckling. “To never growing up!” Octavia said and raised her glass. She was definitely drunker than her friends, but that was to be expected. 

“It’s his loss to you know. Mr shitface, Atom the ass.” She exclaimed and Clarke and Raven shared a look. Getting an emergency call from Octavia usually did include a breakup, and a lot of alcohol, but this time it had been for three days straight. “Are you going to tell us what happened?” Clarke asked as Octavia knocked back her shot. 

“I’ll tell you. Atom- no, no, I mean mr shitface, cheated on me!” She screamed the last words in high pitch and Clarke fought the urge to cover her ears. “He cheated on me with some fucking 22 year old grad student. Her name is Charlotte Rose, and she does fucking yoga. So they’re probably doing some horisontal dog fucking or whatever and I’m over here crying over that jackass.”

Clarke frowned and pulled her down, into her arms and hugged her tightly. “It’ll be okay O, he obviously don’t deserve you.” She said and Octavia sobbed against her shoulder.

Partying, having fun and being impulsive, is what it said on Octavia’s instagram page, and it wasn’t wrong. She was always making sure she was having fun, never stopping to thinking of the consequences. If someone was feeling low or not in a partying mood they were dragging her, or the vibe as she referred it as, down. 

But she would fall for the worst of douches, and everytime it ended it crashed and burned, and Clarke and Raven would be there for her, because that’s what friends did. But Clarke never really seemed to help, in the end Raven was the one Octavia turned to and who raised her spirit. They had a connection that made Clarke feel left out at times, but what matters is that her friends had it good. 

Octavia parted from her shoulder, knocking back another shot, and leaned into Raven’s lap. “Clarke?” She asked, her vulnerability just below her rough croax. “Yeah O?” She smiled. “Could you..” Octavia grabbed a tissue and Raven stroke her hair. “Maybe go out and buy some ice cream? I think I need some carbs.” Clarke bit her lip, Raven sending her a sympathetic look. “Yeah of course.. anything for you, you know that.” She rose and walked out of the apartment, putting on her jacket. Maybe she’d swing by the house, it wasn’t far off and she was currently wearing Octavia’s sweatpants and the ‘can’t spell aMazE without ME’ shirt, which was the only one of Octavia’s shirt that fit her since there was a noticeable size gap between the friends.

Clarke’s phone rang as she headed down the street and she saw Octavia’s number. “Yeah hon?” She answered with. “Could you get us some pizza too, and like some chips? And maybe rent the diary, you know my favorite movie..” Clarke nodded. “Sure thing, I’ll be back in an hour, tops.” She hung up just as her phone dinged, and she saw a new text from an unknown number.

‘So..’  
‘I feel slightly played.’

Clarke frowned, who was this? 

‘because you said you’d pay for drinks yet you took off without doing so..’  
‘so I paid for them, but I assume you’re planning on making it up to me.’

Clarke chuckled, Lexa.

‘Well you know what they say about assuming..’

Clarke responded quickly, heading towards her house first, the three dots moving back and forth, Lexa was typing. 

‘So you did play me.’ 

Clarke chuckled at Lexa’s reply, when the phone buzzed with an incoming phone call, the same texting her, Lexa was calling her. Clarke bit her lip, unsure about picking up but pressed the yes button and brought her phone to her ear. “Hey.. Lexa. You know the whole wait three days to call a girl cliche is mostly referred for dates..” 

There was a pause. “Mm. Well, let me make it up to you. Drinks tonight? I’ll pay, no worries.” She teased. “Or.. dinner. You know we shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach too often.” Clarke smiled, fishing out her keys and unlocked her door and walked inside. “Silence. Bad sign.” Lexa said and Clarke hesitated. “No, no. It’s just.. my friend.. she’s kind of going through a break up and I should be with her, support her y’know?” 

She walked up the stairs and took of her jacket and shoes, deciding she had time for a quick shower. “Another day?” She asked, undressing as she held the phone pinned between her shoulder and chin. “For sure, just.. text me when you have the time.” Lexa responded, Clarke wondering if she was skillfully hiding her disappointment. “You got it.” Clarke said. “I’m getting in the shower now but..” She hadn’t needed to tell her that, she thought. “I’ll keep in touch.” She hung up and placed the phone on the bathroom shelf and let her hair out of a loose braid before stepping in the shower. 

She got under the hot rays and started washing her hair and body, enjoying the steaming water. When she got out she dressed in some clean clothes, getting into some jeans and a white t-shirt and packed some stuff in case Octavia would want her company for a few more days, then she called to order pizza, and ran off to the store to buy snacks and ice cream and soda, grabbing some extra tissues before picking up the movie and the pizzas and got back to Octavia’s place. “Took you long enough.” Octavia said, seemingly a bit sober and in better shape. She had showered too, her almost dry hair combed back and she was wearing a black dress. 

“I was thinking, instead of staying in, getting fat and depressed, can’t we go out?” O smiled and Clarke glanced at Raven who shot her an apologetic look, but she had already gotten ready for a night out as well. Clarke hadn’t been gone that long, so unless they shared a shower, which was a ridiculous thought, one of them must have hopped in just as she was leaving. “Couldn’t you have called to tell me this before I got everything? Could have just texted me before you showered or something.” Octavia pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry! But Raven cheered me up so I really want to keep my spirits high and just go out and have some fun. Just dump the pizza in the fridge it’ll be perfect when we come home all drunk and need something greasy to eat.” She grinned and Clarke wondered what Raven did to get her in this good a mood. 

She wasn’t really in a partying mood, but she couldn’t let her friends down, and usually once she got out she found herself having fun anyways. “I’m not really dressed for a night out though so we’ll have to stop by my place.” She said and Octavia squealed happily. “We’ll have so much fun tonight!” She grinned and helped her put away the groceries. 

They got ready and left for Clarke’s house, Clarke getting a black dress and some nicer shoes and they crowded in the master bathroom to apply make up. Clarke stepped out to call Finn, who was still at work, that she’d be going out tonight. After finishing the call she hesitated by her recent calls list, pressing Lexa’s number, waiting as it dialed. “Clarke.” Lexa answered surprised after three dials and Clarke smiled. If she knew who it was it meant she either saved Clarke’s contact in her phone or memorize her number, not that it should make her smile. 

“Hey.. I just wanted to say I’m sorry I couldn’t meet tonight, but I’m free tuesday if you want to do something then.” She said, pacing and looked back the door, making sure none of her friends was coming out. “Tuesday sounds great Clarke. Have a great night.” Clarke smiled. “You too.” She returned to her friends after they hung up and they got to a club, getting a round of drinks before moving out to the dancefloor.

And she was right, she did have fun. In college Clarke had the nickname party Griff, and she had truly earned that name. She had always been the one to drag her friends out to drunken adventures, drink a lot, be scandalous and brave, and most night out with her led to an unbelievable story. But then she started dating Finn, and finished college and moved further into her medical education, and she had settled down, the nights of crazy drinking coming further and further apart. She knew that was how it was supposed to be, she was 28 after all, not exactly the golden age for downing 8 tequila shots every saturday. 

Raven and Octavia danced together, rhythmically rubbing their bodies together, but Clarke didn’t mind. She didn’t have a hard time finding dance partners and soon they returned to the bar for two rounds of tequila shots. Then a smoke break, getting some fresh air, a necessary break from the heat inside. Clarke finished two cigarettes, Raven and Octavia sharing one as they were gossiping about common friends and laughing. “I’m heading back inside.” Clarke said before leaving them, ordering a double shooter. Sure drinks were great for parties, but at clubs, when holding a drink ment limited dance moves and double odds at spilling on yours or someone else's clothes, shots was the ultimate. They slunk down quickly with a warm burn in her throat, and then you were free to move freely. But Clarke was 6 shots in now, her head feeling fuzzy.

She had enough tolerance to handle 3 moreher best days, probably left over from her college days where she had stretched her tolerance a lot, even going to classes buzzed, but she had nothing in her stomach and 6 shots was still enough to make her head spin, and cause a few wobbly steps. Damn heels, she thought as she gripped the counter. Why wasn’t Octavia and Raven back inside?

She walked to the door, opening it to see Octavia pressed against the wall outside, Raven pressed tightly against her as the two were caught up in some intense make out session. “What the..?”. Raven looked up, seeing Clarke and parted instantly. “Clarke.” She exhaled heavily. Busted. “Just.. continue what you’re doing.” Clarke swallowed, slamming the door shut. She knew Raven would follow her, so she got herself lost in the crowd. She knew they weren’t doing anything wrong, but her head was spinning, and she thought of the times she had asked Raven if had feelings for a, as far as she had known, straight Octavia and Raven had firmly said no. Clarke was no stranger to a drunken make out session, even with friends at times, and even if this was something more Clarke had no reason to be upset. But the alcohol was messing with her head, and it made her feel wierd. 

A small but decisive hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her out of the crowd, and Octavia, pulling her with a surprising strength, pulled her out. “Okay, so you saw us make out. I get it, it was a shock, but stop being a baby now.” She said and Clarke watched the two. “Is this something that has happened before?” Clarke asked. “No.” Octavia replied. “Yes.” Raven said and the two brunettes turned to each other in irritation.

“Right. Look.” Clarke closed her eyes and sighed. “I don’t know what this is.. and I have no right to judge.. I just need a minute, okay? I’ll see you on the dancefloor in a minute.” She forced a smile, something she was a pro on, and walked back inside. She ordered a shot and fished up enough cash to cover it and a good amount of tips. She drank it quickly, closing her eyes, oh god. Big mistake. The shot swelled in her throat, and her eyes widened. Quickly she ran towards the bathroom stalls, by some dumb luck there was no line.

She locked herself in a stall and kneeled by the toilet, just enough to reach the toilet before throwing up. The tequila taste returned to her mouth, and she coughed everything up, flushing it away when she finished and she washed her face in the sink, cleaning her mouth with some water and then gum. She’d grab her friends and they’d get out of here, she thought and walked out.

She walked outside, enjoying the fresh air for a minute before walking back inside when they weren't there. They weren’t by the bar or the dancefloor, and Clarke checked the toilets but it was empty. She seated in an available couch outside the restrooms, her head spinning, her vision slightly hazed. She scooped her phone up, but realized she didn’t want to call her friends to have them find her, she would just be a burden on them. She’d call Finn instead.

Going into recent calls, she pressed the latest one, since she had called him before going here. She’d call him and he’d come get her. She pressed the call button, her head spinning and she leaned back in the couch. “Hey, babe.. can you come get me? I’m at club Knox..” The phone died and she stared at it for a long second. She hadn’t brought a charger. She considered her options, her head having started to ache and pound, great timing to get a headache. 

She could go get a cab, she could look for her friends or wait here hoping Finn had heard what she said before the call got cut.. or maybe her friends would find her. She decided to wait, leaning further back into the couch and felt her consciousness slip..


	3. Chapter 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clarke wakes up somewhere unexpected

Vanilla. That’s all she remembered, the scent of vanilla surrounding her. When Clarke was starting to wake up, she could still feel it, surrounding her, and she smiled. As she became conscious, just starting to wake up, she felt clean sheets under her, a warm cover over her. The scent of vanilla. As she woke up completely she seated in panic and looked around. Where the hell was she? She remembered the bar, flashes returning to her, she remembered sitting down in the couch.. she must have fallen asleep. Rookie fucking mistake.

But she wasn’t in the bar, and she wasn’t home, or at Raven’s or Octavia’s or the hospital. She was in someone's bedroom. Quickly she pushed the cover off her. Her heels were removed, and a t-shirt put on her, a grey, worn one, with some holes in the neckline. She was still wearing her dress and underwear under though. She felt the scent of vanilla again and sniffed the shirt, the scent was definitely coming from it. It was a familiar scent, and not just because it was vanilla. Where the fuck was she? There was no one in the bed or the room. She got out of the bed, looking around for a potential weapon when her gaze stuck at a photograph on the nightstand. 

Two women, one slightly older with their arm around the other girl, slightly younger, with brown pretty curls and sparkling green eyes. Lexa. For a moment she felt relief, she hadn’t been kidnapped for her kidney and she wasn’t in some strangers house. Except, Lexa was practically a stranger. And why was she in her bed? Why was she in her house? Her heartbeat began pounding faster, and she looked around, trying to think quickly when she heard steps and Lexa walked in, and Clarke looked at her and swallowed. “What am I doing here?” Lexa looked at her, holding up a hand for peace. “Calm down Clarke, okay? I’m not surprised you don’t remember, but you called me, asked me to pick you up.” Clarke frowned. “What? No I didn’t-” she remembered going into the phones recent calls list to call Finn, realizing now that Lexa had been her last call before the bar. She must have been so out of it that she didn’t realize who she was calling. 

“Oh.” She blushed. “Yeah, you said you were at some club called Knox or something and then the call got cut. I figured you were in some sort of danger so I checked the address and drove there as quickly as I could, and found you asleep in a couch. You didn’t seem harmed or in bad health, just.. passed out, so I took you home. I didn’t know what else to do. I was really worried.”

Clarke groaned. “I’m really sorry. God this is mortifying.” She seated on the edge of the bed. “Don’t worry Clarke, I mean we’ve all had those nights.” Lexa seated next to her with a reassuring smile. Clarke glanced at her and bit her lip, Lexa was dressed in pyjama shorts, exposing tall brown legs, and a white tank with an open pyjama shirt, white and blue striped, her hair gathered into two fishbone braids at the back. She looked perfect, hot even in her PJ’s, and Clarke was a mess who had thrown up and fallen asleep in a club, was wearing last nights dress, and she didn’t even want to think about how her hair must look. 

“Look I was just getting started on making breakfast. This is my guestroom, used mostly by my cousin, but there’s unused hygiene stuff in the bathroom if you want to wash off, then take the first right and join me in the kitchen okay?” Clarke nodded and Lexa left, Clarke breathing out, thankful for the space. Clarke got into the guest bathroom, wondering if it was imposing too much to shower, but a soft towel was folded up on a counter, and Clarke couldn’t help herself, she wanted to feel fresh again. 

She got into the shower, washing and scrubbing her body, creating a foam mountain in her hair and shaped it into a mohawk before washing it out, and after washing everything off she finally felt clean, and clear headed, and more like herself again. She walked out, towel drying her hair before wrapping it around her body and she found an unopened toothbrush and brushed her teeth thoroughly, washing her face even tho it was more then clean from the shower. She opened the bathroom door, almost walking right into Lexa. 

“hEY” She tightened the grip around the towel, looking up at her and swallowed. Lexa smiled at her before coming to her senses. “Sorry.. I was just going to leave you some clothes for when you finished.” She held out a small pile of clothes and Clarke took it and carried it to the bed. “Oh, thanks.” She blushed before turning back to Lexa who was lingering, and so was her gaze. Clarke cleared her throat and Lexa looked up at her with a blush. “Right.. I’ll be in the kitchen.” She walked out and Clarke shook her head but smiled, looking through the clothes Lexa had left her and put on sweatpants and a t-shirt . Then she walked out and found Lexa in a big kitchen, by the counter whisking something. 

“Hey.” Clarke said, still mortified, wondering how she would possibly restore her dignity in Lexa’s eyes. “Uh, I just wanted to say sorry again, and thank you so much.. I don’t know how to make it up to you.” 

Lexa smiled. “No need to Clarke. And don’t be sorry, those things happen. You think you can handle a few more drinks than you can.. I’ve been there.” She looked her over. “Feel better now?” She asked and Clarke nodded enthusiastically before her eyes widen. “My phone.. my friends.. they must be so worried.” Lexa nodded. “We have the same phone so I took the liberty of charging yours.. it’s given off a few beeps.” She nodded to the phone on the windowsill and Clarke quickly grabbed it, seven missed calls from Raven and Octavia. 

Finn had texted, wondering if she had a good night, Murphy had sent her a meme on instagram and her mom had texted her, but she ignored it all and just sent a quick text to Raven. ‘I’m okay I’ll call you later’ She saw the little read text instantly and her phone rang, Raven’s icon on the screen but she turned off the sound and ignored it, she had told her she’s okay. ‘Was so worried’ Raven texted, which meant Raven just called to hear what had happened to her, nothing was wrong with her or O. Clarke saw the three dots move and quickly she locked the phone, she’d deal with that later. 

“Everything okay?” Lexa asked and Clarke nodded. “Just fine.” she said and seated by the counter and Lexa slid a smoothie to her. “This helps a little with hangovers. When that’s done I have waffles coming up.” She smiled and Clarke’s eyes teared. Why was Lexa taking care of her like this? She didn’t even know her. “What’s wrong?” Lexa asked worried and Clarke quickly wiped her eyes. “Nothing, just, the sunlight, a bit strong but don’t worry.”

She smiled and drank her smoothie and placed the empty glass on the counter when she finished. “Can I help with anything?” She asked as Lexa poured two cups of coffee. “No it’s all set. How do you take your coffee?” She asked and Clarke nodded at the sugar, Lexa adding two teaspoons before handing the cup to Clarke who took a big sip.

Lexa had already set the table, and now placed a big stack of waffles to it, and Clarke got their coffee cups and placed them on the tables. “Do you spoil all of your unconscious overnight guests this well?” Clarke teased and Lexa smiled. “Oh no, I mean they get some coffee but.. the waffles are specially for you.” Lexa joked and waited for Clarke to take some before adding some to her own plate, and Clarke put some cream on the side and took a bite, perfectly light and crispy. “Oh my god.” She mumbled. Lexa smiled. “Highest score huh?” She asked Clarke who nodded enthusiastically. “They’re amazing.” 

She swallowed, taking another eager bite, only now realizing how hungry she was. “So.. did I interrupt something important last night?” She asked and bit her lip. “Oh only what could have been my breakthrough of cure for cancer.” Clarke raised a brow and Lexa chuckled. “And with that I mean my taped episode of grey’s anatomy.” She confessed and Clarke nodded. “Into hospital shows huh?” She asked and Lexa shrugged. “Not really. I guess you hate watching them. Working in a hospital and all.” Clarke sipped some coffee. “Worked.” She said and Lexa looked up surprised. “What happened? You went through eight years of med school only to decide it wasn’t for you?” Clarke cleared her throat and glanced around. 

“Nice place.” An obvious attempt to change the subject, but it worked. “Do you live alone?” She asked and Lexa nodded. “I do yeah. I didn’t when I bought the place though.” She admitted and Clarke looked at her curiously. “Ugly breakup?” She asked and Lexa hesitated. “Not exactly. Long story.” 

“I’m a fan of long stories.” Clarke said but then leaned back. “But another time then maybe.” Lexa nodded. “I should get out of your hair, I bet you have the day booked.” Clarke said, glancing at her empty plate then the big remaining stack of waffles. “It’s sunday Clarke. My plan for the day was waffles, basically.” Clarke grinned and helped herself to some more waffles. “Well then.” She took a big bite before glancing at Lexa then down at herself in her clothes. “They suit you.” Lexa said and Clarke scoffed. “It’s sweats, and we’re not exactly the same size.” Clarke muttered, Lexa was both taller and skinnier than her, like a freaking muscular model. Clarke had needed to fold up the sweat pants and take the biggest shirt available. 

“I guess you just make everything look good then.” Lexa said and Clarke blushed. “Right.” she rolled her eyes. Lexa raised a brow and Clarke sipped her coffee. “I mean come on next to you I look like a potato.” Clarke said, knowing she was exaggerating a bit, she actually liked the way she looked but it didn’t change the fact that she knew Lexa was out of her league. “Well that’s perfect I love potatoes.” Lexa teased and Clarke burst out laughing. 

She smirked at Lexa before taking a sip of coffee, before wondering what Finn would think about this sleepover. She bit her lip before looking up to see Lexa studying her. “Look, thanks so much for.. everything. But I should probably get going..” Lexa nodded and rose. “I understand..” She nodded, seemingly a little disappointed. “But I’ll help you clean up at least. I insist.” She said and Lexa nodded. “Okay then.” They took the dishes and cleaned them out, Clarke rinsing them and Lexa washed them with dish soap. 

“Is the washing machine broken?” Clarke asked as she handed her the second plate. “No, I just find it relaxing doing the dishes.” Lexa shrugged and Clarke smiled. “The more I learn about you the more curious I am to learn more..” She handed her a glass and Lexa took it, their fingers grazing and Clarke felt a small jolt of electricity pass between them. “That’s my charm.” Lexa smirked and took the glass.

“Okay then, I fold to your charm. What’s so relaxing about doing the dishes?” She washed the forks and glanced at Lexa. “I don’t know.. just working with your hands and not your mind kind of relaxes me.. makes it easier if I need to think through something.. I like working with my hands.” 

“I bet you do.” Clarke smirked before blushing, groaning internally, this was so not the moment for sexual innuendos, but it made Lexa laugh at least. “Not quite what I meant but yes that too.” She finished the last of the dishes and cleaned up and took off her rubber gloves. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.” She grabbed her keys. 

Clarke packed her purse and dress from last night in a plastic bag and Lexa insisted on lending her a jacket before they left, and Lexa opened the car door for her. “Thanks.” Clarke smiled and got in and they drove off, Clarke typing her address into the GPS. “So, about last night..” Lexa started and Clarke groaned. “You’ll breathe a word of it to no one okay?” she glanced at Lexa who nodded. “Of course not, Clarke.” She promised. “But for the future if you need someone with you to make sure you don’t fall asleep..” She smirked. “Trust me Lexa you would put me to sleep.” Clarke shot back and Lexa raised a brow. “Calling me boring huh?” Clarke grinned. “Mhm you know it.” She joked and Lexa scoffed. “Guess I’ll have to prove you wrong.”   
“Looking forward to it Lex.” She said as the car stopped outside her house and she hesitated before kissing Lexa’s cheek. “Thanks again. For everything.” She got out of the car and waved before walking into the house, Lexa looking after her with a sigh before driving off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe so yeah most of you guessed already that she would wind up at lexas place , but hope you still liked the chapter!!


	4. Chapter 4.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ravens party is coming up and we're introduced to a new character

When she got inside she called Raven who put on speaker phone, her and Octavia bombing her with questions, Clarke barely able to get a word in. “Guys calm down.” She put the bag in the bathroom and laid down on the couch. “Look when I didn’t find you and realized I’d had one too many drinks I called for a ride. That’s all.” There was a second of silence before they started talking again, at the same time, Clarke barely making out the words.

“I called Finn this morning.. Did you have a hook up?.. Who were you with?” Their voices melted together and Clarke sighed, she was too hungover for this. “Shut it and I’ll tell you!” It worked and they silenced. “Wait you called Finn? He knew I wasn’t with you?” Clarke asked and Raven snorted. “Well no I called him but when I realized you weren’t there I made him think you spent the night with us.” Clarke nodded. “Thank you.”

“But I was with Lexa.” There was a moment of silence before both of them started talking again, way too loud so Clarke put down the phone, getting water and when she returned they were still talking, and Clarke wondered if they had even noticed her absence. She heard the front door shut and Clarke glanced at Finn. “I’ll call you later guys.” She hung up, her phone instantly blowing up again but she ignored it.

“Home already?” He asked with a smile and pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek. “Yeah.. but I’m going back to bed.” Finn chuckled. “Rough night huh?” He let go of her and grabbed some xanax from the cabinet and handed it to her. “You could say that.” Clarke groaned and swallowed the pill down with her water. “So where have you been?” She asked and untied his tie knot with a smile. 

“I just swung by the office.. I had a long meeting yesterday didn’t get everything done.” He explained and Clarke nodded. “Everything okay?” She asked and he nodded. “Good. I have to sleep.. I promise I’ll be better company in a few hours.” 

She went to bed and took a nap, when she woke up her headache was gone. She dressed and walked out, only to find Finn asleep in the couch. She smiled and pulled a blanket over him before walking outside to call Raven and Octavia and gave them the rest of the details. 

“You’re so lucky I wish I would have spent the night at Lexa’s - aoch! Why did you hit me?” Raven grunted over the phone and Clarke leaned back on the bench she was sitting on. “Octavia hit me.” Raven whined and Clarke chuckled. “Well.. am I gonna get to hear about you two now?” 

After a second of rare silence Octavia spoke. “Well it’s.. I mean we hooked up a few times before I started dating Atom.. and then obviously stopped but..” Clarke interrupted her. “Hook up as in sex?” 

Raven nodded before realizing Clarke couldn’t hear a nod. “Yeah.. just casual.. don’t make a big deal about it okay?” Clarke huffed, if her two best friends were having sex it WAS a big deal. “Do you have like.. feelings for each other?” more silence. Clarke waited a full minute without anyone speaking and chuckled. “Right. I’ll let you talk about it in private. Bye! I’ll see you two tomorrow on your birthday party Ray.” She hung up and headed back home when she got a text from Lexa.

‘So how did the fiance take the news that you were crashing with a hot stranger?’

Clarke chuckled.

‘The boyfriend doesn’t know, but if you can keep it a secret you’re invited to a birthday party tomorrow.’ Another beep.

‘So you think I’m hot?’

Clarke typed, sending a quick ‘what?’ back.

‘Well I said I’m hot and you didn’t disagree.’ Clarke smirked,

‘Well I was being polite but you’re just a step away from being a troll.’

The three dots that meant she was typing moved and Clarke bit her lip anxiously. ‘Aoch. Well hopefully there’ll be some hot troll women for me at this party then.’

Clarke chuckled. ‘You can count on it.’ 

‘Then count me in. What kind of party is it?’

Clarke opened the front door and walked in, taking off her shoes. ‘Casual. There will be booze, snacks, music.. standard party.”

Lexa answered quickly and Clarke smiled as she red, ‘can’t wait.. send me the details?’ Clarke quickly sent the time and address before putting down her phone and walked into the living room, Finn still asleep so she started making some lunch, turning on the radio in the kitchen and humming to the songs. 

A few hours later she got a text from Raven exclaiming she had a wardrobe emergency for tomorrow so Clarke drove over to her, a pile of outfits thrown on the bed as Raven was rummaging around in her closet. “I thought you already picked an outfit for tomorrow.” Clarke said, putting the key to Ravens place in her pocket and inspected a dress.

“This is hot.” She said before noticing Ravens state, her face red and moving with frenzy. “Hey. What’s wrong?” Clarke stilled her friend by putting her hands around her arm and looked into her eyes. “It just wasn’t good enough. I wanna look perfect.” Clarke raised a brow. “Raven Reyes, we both know you’d look perfect even in a garbage bag, so tell me what this is really about.” Raven exhaled slightly shakily and seated on her bed.

“Is it Octavia?” Raven nodded. “You really do like her, huh.” She seated next to her and moved a lock of brown hair behind Ravens ear. “I do.. I want to tell her how I feel tomorrow at the party. I have no idea if she feels the same way.” Clarke nodded, rose and picked up a red dress from Ravens closet. “Well I don’t know about Octavia but I doubt anyone can resist you in this.” She held it out and Raven took it. “Thanks.” Raven looked the dress over. 

Raven had been Clarkes neighbour growing up, but due to home troubles she spent more nights with Clarke then she did at her own home, and they considered themselves as sisters. “No problem.. and since you’re into Octavia, and not exactly heartbroken over Lexas rejection, I hope you don’t mind that I sort of.. invited her.” Clarke bit her lip and Raven looked up at her with a smirk. “Don’t I beg you!” Clarke exclaimed without effect. “Clarke and Lexa sitting in a tree..” Raven teased. “Nice, what are you five? Besides you know it’s not like that. I’m with Finn.” 

Raven raised a brow, trying on the red dress Clarke had suggested. “So why don’t you want to marry him huh?” Clarke sighed and laid down on the bed, covering her face in despair, why did she tell Raven about the almost proposal? Of course it would come to bite her in the ass. “I don’t.. It’s not like that. I’m just uncertain, and every time I think about my future..” Raven pulled her up.  
“You think about the future you robbed that guy off? It was a mistake Clarke. You didn’t make him risk his own life by taking some dumb ass Instagram selfie on top of some cliff or whatever. You tried to save him.” Clarke looked up at her, Raven meant the best, they all did, but they didn’t get it. “I failed. I did worse then fail I screwed up and because I screwed up he died.”

Raven nodded. “Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get to enjoy your life. Get married if that’s what you want, even if it is to that shitface. Or ditch his ass, you need a more stimulating partner, we both know that.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Enough about me. Is that the dress or not?” Raven turned to look at her reflection. “This is definitely the dress.” She smiled. “So if your future isn’t as a doctor it could be as a stylist.” Clarke groaned. “No thanks.” Raven chuckled. “Well do you know what you wanna wear tomorrow? You wanna look sexy for Lexa right?” Clarke raised a brow.

“You mean Finn. My boyfriend. Whom I should get back to. Are you gonna be okay or do you want me to stay?” Raven pulled her into a hug. “Go.. have fun with Lexa.” She teased. “Once again you mean Finn.” Clarke corrected and Raven smirked. “I really don’t, I don’t think Finn is capable of fun.” Clarke rolled her eyes. “Grow up Reyes.” She headed out and drove back home, hoping Raven wouldn’t make those jokes in front of Lexa or Finn tomorrow.   
_____________________________________

“We need to go, pronto!” Clarke called from the hallway and Finn came out. “I don’t know where this cliche that girls take longer to get ready came from you spend more time on your hair then I spent in total.” Clarke said and grabbed her bag. “I just wanna look good for you honey.” Finn grabbed the keys and Clarke fought an eye roll. “Yeah you look great.” She said and Finn grinned. “You too.”

Clarke followed him out and they drove to Ravens place and parked, Clarke frowning when she saw a familiar black mercedes already parked outside. “Why is Lexa here already?” She opened the door and was faced with Lexa and Raven standing in the hallway talking. “Lexa.. you’re early.” Clarke pointed out and Lexa raised a brow. “You said eight.. it’s eight..” Everyone knew eight didn’t mean eight on the dot, Clarke thought. “Right.”

Clarke glanced Lexa over, she was wearing a white button up, buttoned to the collar, the shirt spilling down over tight black jeans. “I’m gonna go get a drink.” Finn said and left, Clarke biting her lip. Hopefully more people would come soon so he wasn’t alone with her and two people who disliked him.

“So what are we talking about?” Clarke turned to hug Raven before taking off her coat. “Secrets.” Raven smirked and Clarke turned to Lexa and noticed her gaze on her, and Clarke blushed softly. “You look beautiful as always Clarke.” She said politely and Clarke smirked. “Mm and you’re your usual trollish self I see.” She teased. “But if there’s secrets I want in.” She looked between them expectantly but they both stayed silent. 

Clarke raised a brow. “Fine then. Lexa, can I borrow you for a second?” She grabbed the brunettes arm and hauled her away from Raven. “If you’ve changed your mind about Raven you should know she’s into someone else.” Lexa raised her brow. “What? No. We were just talking. I mean she seems really cool but as a friend, not anything else.” Clarke looked at her surprised. “Oh. Good then. So are you going to tell me what you were talking about?” She asked and Lexa chuckled. “Our shared interest in hiking.. and she might have mentioned you kick in your sleep.” She smirked.

“What?! Why were you talking about me?” Clarke glared at her, not amused by Lexas chuckle. “She just made assumptions about you sleeping at my place. She asked if you had kicked me out of bed too.” Clarke sighed. “That was one time like ten years ago, but the idea of kicking her doesn’t sound so bad right now.” 

“Kicking who?” Clarke turned around and smiled at Octavia. “Hey, you’re here. This is Lexa.” Octavia looked her up and down. “Total daddy.” She whispered to Clarke who glanced at Lexa and blushed and Lexa raised her brow, luckily she hadn’t heard the whisper. “Hello to you too?” She offered her hand and Octavia shook it. “Nice to meet you Lexa.” She said. “I’m Octavia.”

Clarke glanced between them. “Have you had time to talk to Raven O? Doesn’t she look bomb tonight?” Octavia turned to her. “She does, like always, but no just for a second before joining you guys. A few more people are heading in so there was no time.” Clarke glanced behind Octavia at the people streaming in. “Social lubricate? I’ll fetch us drinks.” Clarke said and walked into the kitchen. “You can come out now Finn.” She chuckled, seeing Finn by the kitchen table on his phone. 

“What? Oh.. I mean I wasn’t hiding, but okay.” He walked out and blended into the crowd in the living room as Clarke got drinks and joined her friends again, Raven having joined them. “So birthday girl, got any usual party traditions?” Lexa asked and took a sip of her drink. “Well except for me finding a stranger to make out with in the closet? Not really.” Raven chuckled. “But if you wanna play spin the bottle..” Raven winked. “We’re 28 not 15 Raven.” Clarke pointed out and Raven shrugged.

“Who says I gotta act my age? But have it your way. Why don’t we dance instead.” She grabbed Octavias hand and pulled her to the radio to switch songs and raised the volume and the two started dancing, more people joining them. “They’re cute together.” Lexa said and sipped her drink. “Do you want to join them?” Clarke nodded. “Why not.” She put their drinks down and pulled her into the dance area. “I meant just you..” Lexa hesitated but started dancing, hesitant at first but soon had no problem keeping up with the beat.

“You’re a really good dancer.. why are you single again?” Clarke joked and Lexa chuckled. “Just waiting for the right person.” She took Clarkes hand and spun her, her face right above Clarke’s neck and Clarke shivered, feeling the tiniest breath on it, amd she felt goosebumps spread down her arms before she spun around again.

“You’re single, go mingle.” Clarke said when the song ended and nodded at a group of girls on the other side of the room. Lexa rolled her eyes but Clarke left her, and when she glanced back Lexa was heading towards the girls. Clarke walked out on the balcony, getting her cigarette pack out, getting one out with quick and nimble fingers and placed it between her lips and lit it, inhaling slowly then exhaling the smoke after a moment. 

The muffled party noises from inside reached her and she glanced inside through the glass door before turning around and leaned against the balcony rail, closing her eyes and enjoying the cold air and the solitude. She looked down over the rails, down on the empty streets below. “I hope your not thinking of jumping. Depriving the world of an ass like that would be a shame.” Clarke turned around quickly and found herself face to face with a strange woman with blonde hair, sharp cheekbones and alert, brown eyes. She looked familiar, though Clarke couldn’t quite place her. “Excuse me?” 

“Relax blondie, it’s just a joke. Can I steal a cigarette from you?” Clarke glanced down at her cigarette packet before handing her one when she realized where she recognized her from, the picture in Lexas spare room. “You’re Lexas cousin right?” Anya looked at her surprised. “Yeah.. how do you know Lexa?” she asked. “We’re new friends. I’m Clarke.”

The name seemed to mean something to Anya who nodded. “Anya.” Clarke nodded, turning the lighter on and held it out for Anya. “Want me to get Lexa for you?” She asked as Anya lit her cigarette and she shook her head. “No, I’ll find her later.” Clarke nodded, heading back inside.

Clarke glanced around, it had barely been an hour yet the party was already in full swing. People were drinking, dancing.. her gaze landed on Finn having a discussion with two girls and she smiled before going to get some chips, seating on the couch. “Aren’t you a party animal.” Raven joined her with a grin, holding two shots. “Have you talked to Octavia yet?” Clarke asked before they both knocked down their shots and Raven shook her head. “I’m nervous. What if she doesn’t feel the same way?” Clarke bit her lip. “Well then she’s, spoken with love, an idiot. You should do it before you chicken out or have too much to drink.” She looked at Raven sternly. “You’re right.” Raven got up, disappearing into the crowd to talk to Octavia and Clarke went to fetch a drink before joining up with a few other friends.

It didn’t take long until she saw Octavia, hurrying out of Ravens bedroom. “Excuse me.” Clarke said, leaving her group and headed after Octavia. “Hey. What happened?” She asked, watching Octavias rushed movements as she got her jacket and bag. “Was it your idea? Raven telling me how she feels? I know it was. You ruined everything!” She tossed her hair over her jacket and glared at Clarke. “It wasn’t my idea Octavia, I just supported her. I don’t understand why it’s a bad thing?” Octavia sighed. 

“Well you should stop meddling. I have fun with Raven, but I never wanted it to be more than that. I don’t even like girls like that, when it comes to relationships. And now she’s upset.” Clarke frowned. “Then you should have been clear with her from the beginning. I’m sorry there was a misunderstanding but these things happen. She’ll get over it.” Octavia shook her head. “I really hope so. Because Raven is my best friend, and I don’t want to lose her.” 

Octavia quickly wiped off a traitorous tear. “You won’t.” Clarke pulled her in for a hug but Octavia took a step backwards. “Don’t. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Clarke swallowed, the words echoing in her ear, reminding her of the last time she heard it, her vision blurring as she fought some tears, the memory welling up.. 

“I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do.” She heard herself saying, a surgery mask around her neck. “You promised you could save him.” The mother said, tears streaming down her face. “So in the future, don’t make promises you can’t keep.” 

She was brought back to reality by Octavia slamming the door shut after her. “Clarke?” She turned around quickly and saw Lexa standing behind her, watching her confused and she wiped her eyes quickly. “What’s wrong?” She closed the distance between them and pulled her into a hug and Clarke buried her face in her neck, letting the tears fall as Lexa just stood there, holding her without demanding an explanation.

After a minute or two Clarke parted and wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath. “Wanna get out of here and talk about it? Or not talk about it?” Lexa asked but Clarke shook her head. “I can’t.. I have to take care of Raven.” She bit her lip, embarrassed that Lexa saw her like this. Seems she always saw her at her worst. “I’m sure Raven can wait Clarke.” Lexa insisted but Clarke shook her head. “She can’t.. I need to go. But I met Anya, by the way. She was at the balcony last I saw her.” She left Lexa in the hallway and walked into Ravens bedroom.

Raven was sitting on the edge of her bed, her back facing Clarke. She quickly walked up to her and seated by her. “I’m sorry Raven.” She took her hand and Raven leaned against her. “It was a long shot anyways. I should have known she wasn’t into me.” She said and Clarke stroke her hair. “Well it’s her loss Raven. Really.” Raven nodded.

“And hey now I get to keep my tradition of making out with a stranger in the closet.” She got up and glanced herself in the mirror, fixing her makeup. “Sure, if that’s what you want. But you don’t have to get back out there you know.” Raven glanced at her. “Yeah I do. I want to. Come on, I need tequila and a deep belly button.” She took Clarkes hand and pulled her up and Clarke chuckled. “Body shots? You really don’t know how to act your age.” She chuckled but joined Raven outside. 

They joined the party and Clarke saw Lexa talking with the woman from earlier, Anya. “Don’t look now but your hot date brought a super hot date. Are you jealous? I’d be jealous.” Raven said and Clarke chuckled. “Lexa isn’t my date and Anya isn’t her date. They’re cousins.” Raven smirked. “So.. one for each of us then.” She wiggled her eyebrows cheesily and Clarke rolled her eyes but smiled. “Mm if they’re up for it you might get both Raven.” She joked and Raven glanced at them. “That’d be a dream come true. But Lexa isn’t interested so I guess I’ll make due with one.”

Without another word Raven dragged her to them and Lexa turned to them. “Are you two alright?” She examined them worriedly, her gaze stopping at Clarke who nodded. This was how Raven coped, she knew, by distracting herself until she felt prepared to deal with it. “We were hoping we’d get you two to sign up as shot glasses.” Raven smirked and Anya turned to her. “I’d prefer the other way around.” She said and looked Raven over. “Well it’s my birthday so we’re doing it my way. Now take of your shirt.” Raven said and Anya glanced at Lexa before shrugging. “As you wish.” She took off her top in a swift motion and Raven grinned. 

“You game too Lexi?” Raven asked. “Isn’t one shot glass enough for you?” Lexa asked. “It is but what about Clarke?” Raven raised a brow. “Well I doubt her fiance would like her doing body shots off me.” Clarke turned to her. “Boyfriend.” She corrected. Lexa raised a brow. “Well if you want to use my body it’s all yours.” She unbuttoned her two top buttons playfully, Clarke knew she was messing with her and rolled her eyes and pretended to gag. “No thanks.” Lexa chuckled but didn’t button her shirt back up, and Clarke glimpsed a bronzed collarbone. “But I’m game for some normal shots if you are.” She led her into the kitchen and poured two shots up, and Lexa knocked her glass gently against Clarkes before they both took their shot, Clarke jumping up on the counter.

“So do you want to talk about earlier?” Lexa asked, standing right by Clarkes leg, dingling of the kitchen counter. “Raven had feelings for Octavia.. Octavia doesn’t feel the same way.” Lexa nodded. “Is that what brought you to tears? You must really care about your friends.” She looked up at her with concerned eyes. “I do. There’s.. something else as well, but it’s a long story, and this is a party so..” Lexa shrugged. “I have time for you. Party or not, you’re important.” Clarke looked down at her and blushed, hesitating. “Well I… Something bad happened, because of me. And there’s nothing I can do to fix it.”

Lexa took her hand and stroke the back of it with her thumb. “What was it?” She asked and Clarke drew a shaky breath. “Well I was the head of trauma at my moms hospital.. basically being a trauma surgeon means taking care of accidents like if someone got hit by a bus, for example. This kid came in with his girlfriend. They had been doing some risky.. mountain top thing I don’t know. He had fallen a long altitude and gotten pierced by a thick branch. I operated, removed the branch.. it was a really bad injury but I thought I had saved him.” Lexa nodded and squeezed her hand. “What happened?”

“The operation took over twelve hours, I was exhausted.. small pieces of the cortical had been rubbed off and we had to get every last piece.. when we got the last one we stitched him up, but I forgot the risk of infection. I was careless. A day after the surgery he got a high fever and I realized, but it was too late. He survived his accident but not my stupidity.” 

Clarke wiped off some tears that was dripping down her cheek as Lexa pulled her off the counter and into a hug. “Is this when you tell me it wasn’t my fault? Because I’ve heard that before.” Clarke inhaled the scent of vanilla before parting. “I ruined your shirt.” She stared at the mascara stains on Lexas collar. “I’ll survive.” She examined her face. “Look it wasn’t your fault, but I know it doesn’t matter what I say. With time you’ll come to realize it too.” She stroke her cheek, none of the two finding it weird.

“How do you know?” Clarke looked up at her. “Well I..” Lexa was interrupted by someone clearing her throat and Clarke turned to Finn in the door opening, Lexas hand quickly moving off Clarkes cheek and she took a step back. Could he have worse timing? “What are you doing with my fiance?” He asked and walked closer. “Girlfriend.” Clarke said. “Finn she was just being my friend, that’s all.” Finn stepped closer, looking at Lexa for a moment and Clarke saw Lexas fierce green eyes glare back at him, before he stepped back and glanced at Clarke. “Don’t worry Clarke, I trust you.” He said before glancing at Lexa, as to say but not her. 

“I think we should go home, Finn.” She put a hand on his arm. “I’m not really in a party mood.” She smiled apologetically at Lexa before dragging Finn out of there, deciding it was best not to disturb Raven so they headed out. “Are you okay to drive?” She asked Finn who nodded. “I only had a beer.” He got in the driver seat and Clarke in the passenger seat, leaning back. She felt guilty she hadn’t spent any time with Finn at the party, and she felt guilty for leaving Lexa so suddenly. Seemed like she couldn’t do anything right. 

The drive home was quiet, maybe Finn noticed she wasn’t in a talkative mood or he wasn’t either, and when they got home Clarke quickly changed into pyjamas. “Good night Finn.” She smiled before turning off the lights and both of them got into bed, Clarke crawling up in a corner with her back against him.


	5. Chapter 5.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey so apparently i forgot to post last week lmao idk if anyone care but in case you've been waiting for the update i'm really sorry, it was just one of those weeks that went so quickly by :)

Clarke woke up with a gasp, sitting up suddenly, grasping the cover to her chest. She’d had another nightmare, visions from it playing inside her mind, and she lay back down with a sigh. She glanced to the side and saw Finn was still asleep and turned to her alarm clock, it was just 6 am. She got up and dressed, walking out into the hallway where she hesitated, seeing Lexas’ jacket that she had borrowed from her hanging there. She put it on swiftly, sniffing her shoulder discreetly. Vanilla was a nice scent, it had nothing to do with Lexa.

She grabbed her bag and walked outside, lighting a cigarette before taking a slow walk through the deserted neighborhood. The sun had just started peeking through over the horizon, the morning warm with a slightly chilly wind. Being suspended from the hospital wasn’t good for her, she hated having nothing to do everyday when everyone was at work. And there had been more than a few lunch pizzas in front of the tv.

She stopped by a street, looking up at the store window displaying wedding dresses. She imagined herself in one of them, walking down the aisle.. seeing Finn at the front. She quickly snapped out of her weird fantasy and looked at the locked door. She was being selfish with Finn, she knew deep down. She sighed, her life, and she, was a mess. Like tangled headphone cords, unpossible to untangle, and once you finally succeeded the cords were wonky and sometimes broken.

She started heading back, stomping on her cigarette when it was burned out, undressed and went back to bed, but couldn’t fall back asleep. Since it was sunday Finn usually slept in. At eight she got up again, unable to lie still any longer, and called Octavia as she brewed some coffee. She was usually asleep at his time, she had planned on leaving a voicemail but she was happily surprised to hear Octavias voice on the other end of the line. “Hi O.. are you okay?” There was a second of hesitation and Clarke bit her lip and got a cup. “Yeah.” The brunette sighed. “I’m sorry for snapping at you last night.. I know it’s not your fault.” Octavia said and Clarke glanced around. “It’s no ones fault honey. She feels one way you feel another.”

She filled her cup and added sugar and took her sip, waiting for Octavias slow reply. “I guess. How is she?” Clarke hesitated. “Well yesterday she was.. doing what she’s always doing, being Raven. I was thinking of checking on her in a few hours.” She seated and rubbed her eyes tiredly. “Sounds good. And.. uh, say sorry from me or something. Or on other hand don’t. I need to go.. talk to you later.” Octavia hung up and Clarke sighed, stroking the phone screen with her thumb hesitantly before opening her text exchange with Lexa.

 _‘Sorry I left so suddenly last night.. I just wasn’t in a party mood. And thank you for listening. I still have the clothes you borrowed me so if you’re available I can swing by and give them to you today?’_ Clarke red the small ‘red’ text right away. Why was everyone up at 8 on a sunday, she wondered.

_‘Slightly busy under the day.. but if you’re free later tonight that’d work, or you can just keep them, it doesn’t matter.’_

Clarke red the text, quickly typing back. _‘How about seven? I can bring chinese take out, we can have dinner. Is everything okay by the way?’_

There was an extra minute until she answered, the three dots moving then disappearing before appearing again.

_‘I’m good just catching up on some work. And that sounds great as long as the fiance don’t mind.’_

Clarke sighed, again with this? _‘Why don’t you let me worry about my BOYFRIEND, I’ll see you at seven.’_

There was no reply so Clarke put down her phone and finished her coffee before showering, enjoying the hot rays washing her body before getting ready and drove to Ravens place, letting herself in with her key. “Ray?” She opened the door to her bedroom door, Raven lying on top of the cover in her dress from yesterday, Anya lying topless next to her.

“Oh sorry!” She hurried out and slammed the door shut, waiting in Ravens kitchen. After a few minutes Anya came out, with a top on this time. “You two had a fun night I take it.” Clarke smirked and Anya nodded. “We actually just did shots and made out.” Clarke raised a brow. “I’d define that as fun but okay.” She waited until Anya left to walk into Ravens bedroom, the brunette laying face down in the pillows.

“Am I dead?” Raven groaned and Clarke chuckled and seated on the edge of the bed. Raven turned around, clearly hung over. “Let’s get you into the shower.” Clarke pulled her up. “Kinky Griffin.” Raven smirked, at least not so hung over her personality took a hit. “That’s me, kink master Griffin.” She chuckled as Raven undressed and tossed everything she got off around her. Clarke walked out of the bathroom as Raven started showering, after last nights party the place was a mess.

Clarke grabbed a big trash bag and collected all the trash before putting all the dishes in the sink or around it and cleaned up the few stains on the floor. When Raven came out after one very long shower the place looked alright, and she looked around, a towel wrapped around her and she smiled. “You didn’t have to do this.” She smiled gratefully and gave her a hug. “Thanks.” She parted and glanced around. “I’m gonna go change.. do you wanna be a bad influence on me and order some pizza?” She winked and Clarke nodded with a chuckle, ordering two pizzas before finishing the last of the cleaning and Raven came out in sweat shorts and a baggy hoodie, her hair up in a classic ponytail and stray hairs sweeped back by a hair band.

“Wanna watch some movies?” Clarke suggested and Raven nodded and sunk down in the couch with her, cuddling up in a blanket. They put on the movie and when the pizza came she got two cokes and a cutter and they continued their movie marathon. After two movies, the pizzas long since gone and half way through a pint of Ravens ice cream, Clarke glanced at her.

“So do you want to talk about it?” Raven glanced at her. “I don’t know, there’s not much to talk about Clarke, she just doesn’t like me back. I’m still glad I asked so I wouldn’t go around hoping.” Clarke nodded. “What about Octavia? Will it affect your friendship?”

Raven hesitated, taking a bite of the ice cream before shaking her head. “We were friends long before I had feelings for her, and some crush isn’t going to destroy our friendship. I’ll get over it, I just need a little time.” Clarke watched her, seeing in her eyes that she was more hurt then she let on. “So, what about Anya? You hit it off huh?” Raven nodded. “She gave me her number.. maybe I’ll call her. She is crazy hot.” She smiled and Clarke grinned. “That’s my girl.”she said and Raven grinned and nodded. “I’ll definitely call her.”

After the third movie Clarke went back home, packing up Lexas clothes in a bag. “When will you be back?” Finn asked, handing her Lexas jacket and examined her for a second as Clarke shrugged. “I don’t know. An hour, maybe a bit more.” She gave him a quick kiss before leaving, picking up chinese food before driving to Lexas place and knocked the door.

Lexa opened rather quickly, and Clarke smiled, holding up the chinese food. “Can I come in?” she asked and Lexa stepped aside. “Yeah, of course.” She took the food as Clarke got her jacket and shoes off before she was led into the living room. Lexa quickly picked up some papers on the table, and Clarke spotted an empty scotch glass. “Everything alright Lexa?” She asked and Lexa nodded. “I was just catching up on some paperwork.”

Clarke nodded and glanced around. “I’ll get plates.” Lexa said and Clarke raised a brow. “Plates? Chinese food is meant to be eaten straight from the box.” She shook her head and smiled, unpacking everything. “You clearly brought enough food for an entire army.. should we get it to the kitchen?” Clarke seated in the couch. “I promise I won’t spill. Come on.” She hit the couch right next to her, looking at Lexa until the brunette seated next to her with a quiet, keeping more distance then necessary.

“So is everything okay with the company? Did I disturb some important paperwork?” Lexa shook her head. “Don’t worry Clarke.” She got a box and started eating, Clarke glancing at her with a small frown, did she seemed a bit off tonight?. “Mm you know if you want we can go out and take a drink after this.. I do believe I owe you one.. or three.”

She nudged Lexas shoulder teasingly and Lexa smiled before shaking her head. “I’m kind of tired I think I’ll turn in early.” Clarke nodded, biting her lip before focusing on the food. They sat in silence for a little while, Lexa clearly had something on her mind. “Anything you want to talk to me about Lex? You were about to tell me something on the party before..” She hesitated.

“Before your fiance interrupted us, yes.” Clarke frowned. “Stop calling him that.” She sighed and Lexa turned to her, her eyes searching as she examined Clarkes face. “Do you love him?” She asked and Clarke snorted. “What kind of question is that? Of course I do.” Lexa nodded, glancing down in her food. “Then why not marry him?” She raised a brow and Clarke scoffed. “Not really any of your business, but we’re just not in that place yet.”

Lexa nodded, running a hand through her brown curls. “Does he know where you are? He doesn’t seem to be a big fan of me.” Clarke shrugged. “You’re not a big fan of him either, and yes, he does.” She frowned, she hadn’t known Lexa long, that’s true, but she thought they had a bond between them, and now Lexa seemed distant. “Is everything okay? Really?”

Lexa took a deep breath before nodding, smiling at Clarke. “Of course it is Clarke.” She finished her food. “Thanks for the food.. it was delicious.” Clarke glanced at her. “There are loads left..” She took a bite of her own box and Lexa nodded. “So you’ll bring home leftovers. I’m sorry, I’m just pretty tired.” Clarke glanced at her before rising. “Right, yeah. The clothes are in the hallway, I’ll see myself out. Wanna.. meet tomorrow for lunch?”

She asked and Lexa glanced up at her, hesitating before nodding. “Sure thing Clarke.” She smiled before Clarke walked out, driving back home and seated on the couch next to Finn, watching some Western Film. “You weren’t there long.” He said, seemingly pleased. “No I wasn’t.” Clarke said before leaning back in the sofa pillows.

_________________________________________

Next day she texted Lexa and they decided on a restaurant and time to have lunch. Finn went to work and Clarke got ready, talking to Octavia over the phone before driving over to the restaurant, looking around for Lexa. She smiled when she saw her then frowned in surprise when she saw Raven next to her and walked up to them. “Hi.. I didn’t realize you were coming Raven.” She glanced between them. “The more the merrier right?” Lexa smiled and glanced up at her before looking at the menu.

“Of course. I just didn’t realize you two had gotten close. Is Anya joining us?” Clarke asked and Raven shook her head. “Nope, I’m meeting her tonight though. And me and Lexie is like.. two peas in a pod.” She joked and Clarke raised a brow but said nothing, glancing between them, what was going on? “Lexie?” She asked. “Not a nickname I’ve accepted, let’s be clear.” Lexa ensured and Raven chuckled. “Right, Lexie.” Clarke smirked. Lexa looked up at her and raised a brow. “I think I’m having the salmon pasta.” Was all she said and Clarke nodded. “Great.” Clarke said, looking down in her menu and looked up just to notice Lexa watching her. “How’s Finn?” She asked when she realized she’d been caught.

“He’s great.” She said, Raven rolling her eyes. “Who cares?” She chuckled. “Oh my god did I tell you Lexa and I also share a love of jogging? And she’s quite the workout enthusiast.” Clarke turned to Lexa and raised a brow. “Is that so? Maybe we could have a work out session together?” She joked, disappointed when Lexa didn’t respond to her insinuation. “Maybe.. I can show you the gym.” Clarke bit her lip. “Sure, yeah that’d be great.”

Lexa and Raven started talking about workout routines and Clarke leaned back with a sigh, focusing on the food when it came, Raven and Lexa still talking. It was great that they were becoming such great friends, but why did she feel so left out? She sipped her wine, and when they finally stopped talking about workout and nature stuff, Raven glanced at her phone. “I have to go. Talk to you later.” She said, but it was unclear of to whom.

“Alone at last, ms Woods.” Clarke took another sip before putting her glass down and leaned forward a bit, smiling at Lexa. She smiled back, but after a few seconds Lexas gaze flickered down and she nodded. “How come you invited Raven?” She asked and Lexa shrugged. “You wanted me to like her, I do. The three of us could be friends.” Clarke took another sip. “That’d be great.” She nodded. “Everything is okay between us though, right?”

Lexa smiled hesitantly, after a moment it became more genuine and warmer. “Of course Clarke.” Clarke nodded and grinned. “So did Raven tell you her and Anya hit it off?” She asked and Lexa nodded. “What about you, did you meet someone you liked yesterday after I left?” She asked and Lexa shook her head. “No I left soon after, actually.” She admitted. “Everyone I knew had left or was otherwise occupied so..” She shrugged and finished her pasta, Clarke watching her and smiled.

“So, at the party, after I was being a whiny mess, you started telling me something..”

Lexa shook her head. “You weren’t.. and it was nothing, really. Forget about it.” Clarke frowned but nodded, examining her. “So everything is okay?” She asked and Lexa nodded. “Yes. Don’t worry.”

Clarke still felt like something was a little off with Lexa. When Clarke started teasing her or make innuendo jokes Lexa quieted a bit, and Clarke wished Lexa would tell her what was up. When they finished Clarke pulled Lexa into a hug, and she felt Lexa melt into it and bury her face in her neck but soon stiffened and parted. “Thanks for lunch. I should get going.” Lexa said with a small smile and headed towards her car, having insisted on paying the bill, and Clarke got in her own and drove off.


	6. Chapter 6.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit longer than usual so hope you enjoy :)

Why had she let herself be talking into this? With Lexa and Raven, both fit with a love for nature, and Clarke, who was easily convinced, Raven had insisted that the three of them should go for a hike. Not just a hike, but an eight hour hike that would then turn into camping in the forest before going eight hours back next morning. 

“How is this your idea of a good time?” Clarke groaned. They were barely two hours in, and Clarke was already ready to fall down and rest for a week. Lexa glanced back and her and grinned. “Come on Clarke, how can you not enjoy this? The sun, the nature, fresh air..” Clarke shrugged. “I guess I’m an stay in and watch netflix type of girl.”

There was one good thing about this, (except for the hope of a good tan, which Lexa had probably killed when she rubbed sunscreen over Clarkes face, arms and legs.) was Lexa wearing cargo shorts and a white tank top, a long sleeved knotted against her hips. Clarke shouldn’t be enjoying that view, she knew, but then again, it wasn’t like Finn never appreciated the beauty in other girls. 

So she didn’t feel too guilty at the odd times Clarkes gaze landed somewhere it shouldn’t, like at Lexas bronzed, muscled arms or the curve of her back. It wasn’t like she was staring at her ass, which was a challenge in those cargo shorts. “Is it time for a break soon at least?” Clarke asked hopefully and Raven chuckled. “Two more hours then we can rest for a bit.” She said and Clarke groaned. “Next weekend I’m deciding the activity.” She said as she continued to force herself forward, wary of the spare roots that would sometimes grow over the paths. “Whatever you say.” Raven smirked.

Two hours later they had seated in a small clearing, unpacking sandwiches to eat before continuing. Clarke had collapsed on her back and closed her eyes, enjoying the harsh sun rays. “You alright there Clarkie?” Raven asked and Clarke got up, seating and nodded, getting the sandwich Raven was holding out. “Good, because we should get going soon again.” She said and Clarke sighed at the thought of four more hours. She enjoyed a good forest walk as much as the next person, but not an uphill hike for eight hours. 

When they finally made it up to their destination, the sun was dipping low in the sky, just about to set. As Raven was taking in the scenery Clarke and Lexa was setting up the tent they’d all be sleeping in. Clarke grunted, trying to force a stick all the way through.

“Don’t do it like that, be gentle.” Lexa said and Clarke looked up at her and chuckled. “So you don’t like it rough?” Clarke teased and raised a brow and Lexa rolled her eyes but smiled. “You’ll never find out.” She said before fixing the stick and finished the tent. “Well done guys.” Raven said and patted Clarkes back hard and she glanced at her. “We fixed the tent, you do the fire.” She said and seated on a log, drinking from one of her water canteens. 

“Easily enough done.” Raven said and cracked her knuckles before getting started and Clarke started getting the food they would grill out. Burgers and bread, halloumi cheese and plenty of smores materials. When the fire was done they put the food on the grill and all seated on the ground, and Clarke watched the sky as the sun setted and orange, pinks and blue swirled together and painted the sky. 

“Aching for your art supplies?” Raven asked and Clarke nodded. “You paint? What do you paint?” Lexa asked curiously and studied Clarke. “All sorts of things.” She shrugged and glanced at her. “She designed my tattoo, and her own tattoos as well.” Raven said, extending her leg to show off a raven tattoo, mid flight, majestic feathers spread in an unique artwork. “Raven huh?” Lexa asked as she studied it. “Yeah. Except for the obvious reason that we share a name, ravens are creatures of mystery and strength.” Lexa nodded. “I love it.”

She glanced at Clarke. “How many tattoos do you have?” She asked. She had already noticed the dream catcher at the back of her neck, spreading down to her back with gorgeous blue feathers and the compass tattoo on the back of her left shoulder, just as she had seen Clarkes eyes trail at Lexas arm tattoo, but Clarke had yet to see the one she had on her back.

“The compass, the dream catcher, and this one.” Clarke said, hesitating before hiking her shirt up a bit, exposing a tattoo above her left hip, a watch twin to the real one on her wrist, with flowers sprouting under and through it, small birds flying above it with stars above them.

Clarke leaned forward and looked sideways at Lexa. “Now it’s your turn. Is your arm tattoo just decoration or does it have a meaning behind it?” Clarke asked as she released her shirt and let it fall down into place. 

“It’s.. personal.” Clarke nodded. “Okay if you don’t want to tell us that’s fine.” She got the food off the grill and the girls ate in silence. “We should tell scary stories.” Raven said when the colors from the sunset had faded and all that was left was a dark blue, almost black, and a constellations of stars shining above them. “I will punch you if you as much as start.” Clarke said and shot Raven a warning glance.

“You’re no fun, but fine.” She chuckled and finished a s’more and Clarke put three new ones on the grill. “We should have brought booze.” Raven complained and Clarke chuckled. “I think we’ll survive without it Raven. Plus if we get attacked by a bear we might want to be sober.” Raven smirked and shrugged. “Actually when you were peeing me and Lexa decided that if a bear attacks us we’ll trip you so it’s eats you, and we have a chance to run away.”

Clarke opened her mouth. “I-” She turned to Lexa. “I expected that from Raven, but you?” She asked her with a betrayed expression and Lexa nodded. “What can you do?” Lexa shrugged and chuckled and Clarke chucked a marshmallow at her, but it backfired when Lexa caught it in her mouth and grinned. “Thanks!”

Clarke crossed her arms over her chest. “I hate you.” She said with a pout. “Mm no you don’t.” Lexa grinned and ate another marshmallow. “Well, you’re lucky your cute.” Clarke said and Lexa smiled. “Cute huh?” She said looking pleased before her mood shifted. Clarke noticed and sighed. “Okay what is your problem?” She asked, making both Lexa and Raven turn to her surprised. “I’m.. gonna go check for bears.” Raven said and rose quickly and walked off. 

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked, knowing full well what she meant. “When I came over to your house the other day you were completely distant and different, I just figured you had a lot on your mind with work or something but then at lunch and again now, you’re acting weird. It’s something, so just spit it out.” 

Lexa sighed, bracing herself. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to explain to Clarke that the reason she distanced herself was because a, Clarke had a boyfriend, and their back and forth flirting, even though it was harmless and in a friendly way, didn’t feel fair to him, and b, their friendful flirting actually affected her. She knew Clarke was in a serious relationship from day one but still, when she was comforting Clarke at the party.. it’d been a good while since she had feelings for someone, but still she knew her own signs, and she had a serious case of butterflies in her stomach when she was around Clarke. But she didn’t want to cut her out of her life, so she told herself that as long as they kept it friendly, her feelings would stop, and they weren’t doing anything wrong. 

“I’m waiting Lexa.” Clarke said, getting impatient, seeing Lexa fidgeting for the first time ever. “I just feel us being.. flirty.. might not be fair for your fiance.” Lexa said and Clarke set her jaw and glared at her. “First of all, boyfriend. Second of all, it’s really unfair of you to call me a bad girlfriend because you don’t know the first thing about mine and Finn's relationship. Finn doesn’t care if I call you cute. We’re not fifteen Lexa.” 

She saw Lexa biting her lip, hard. “I didn’t say you were a bad girlfriend. I’m sure you’re a great girlfriend. But why do you keep getting so insulted that I call him your fiance? I assume that’s where your relationship is heading.” 

“Well we talked about assumptions the first time we met, remember? I’m going to bed.” She rose and walked inside the tent they were all sharing and zipped up the entrance. After a minute she heard Raven returning and she heard the two speaking, but the tent muffled their voices so she couldn’t make out any words, so she got in the sleeping bag and tried to sleep instead. 

She woke up a few hours later, her hair over her face and she forced it away from her eyes and seated, looking around. Raven was asleep next to her, but Lexa wasn’t in the tent. She grabbed her blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders before walking out, seeing Lexa leaning against the same stump as before, looking up at the stars. Clarke approached her and seated next to her, pulling the blanket around them both.

“Aren’t you tired?” Clarke asked and watched her, and Lexa finally tearing her eyes from the night sky to meet her gaze. “Not really.” She said, and Clarke leaned against her shoulder a bit. “I’m sorry.” Clarke muttered and Lexa glanced at her. “I’m the one who should apologize.” She said and Clarke shook her head. “No. I overreacted and acted kind of childish.. my relationship with Finn is a delicate topic because I know he’s waiting for me to be ready to get engaged, but I’m not, and I just feel really guilty about it.” Lexa nodded slowly before looking up in the night sky. “You have nothing to feel guilty for Clarke, you can’t change how you feel. And I’m the last person who should talk about someone's relationship.” 

Clarke watched Lexa as she hesitated, and she wondered if Lexa was finally about to tell her what she was going to share at Ravens party, when Finn had interrupted them. “I was engaged once.. a couple of years ago. I loved her, but we fought a lot, because I worked all the time, and I’m not exactly great at relationships. We were going to drive to my beach house to have the weekend to ourselves, but I was late to pick her up because of work. We got in a fight over the phone and she decided to drive up herself, but she wasn’t a very experienced driver..” 

“What happened?” Clarke whispered. “I..” Lexa swallowed. “I called her on the phone and started arguing with her.. she got distracted from the road.. she missed a red light and got hit by another car. She didn’t make it.”

Clarke nodded and stroke Lexas back. She, if anyone, should know what to say in this situation, but she felt she was at a lack of words. “I’m so sorry, Lexa.” She said and Lexa nodded. “Yeah, me too.” She traced her tattoo. “The arm tattoo contains of two parts, symbolizing my two biggest mistakes. The top one is that day.”

Clarke frowned. “You got a tattoo of your worst moments? Why torment yourself like that?” She asked confused. “To remind myself. Every day. I’m responsible for what happened, and I’ll never let something like that happen again. And never forget.” 

“You’re being too hard on yourself.” Clarke said and Lexa turned to her. “You blame yourself for that guys death. What’s the difference?” Clarke frowned. “Well his death actually is my fault, what happened to your ex was an accident. And I didn’t get a tattoo of it to torture myself every day, I’m trying to move on.” Lexa shrugged. “Are you though?” Lexa looked into Clarke’s eyes who swallowed under Lexas fierce, probing gaze and looked down, breaking their eye contact.

“Let’s go to bed Lexa.” She said, ignoring the topic. Lexa hesitated before nodding and rose, and they got into the tent and into their sleeping bags. Lexa crawled into hers and lay down on her side, and Clarke could feel her gaze on her. Clarke glanced back at her and their eyes met, for longer then she had planned, and she found herself getting lost in the golden flecks in Lexas green eyes, almost like stars but in a green sky.

Lexas question was still ringing in her mind. She tried to think of something else and get it out of her head, but it was stuck. “Good night.” She whispered and closed her eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come until hours later.

She woke up with brown curls all over her face and she groaned. She was hot as hell, sweat trickling down her neck. Both Raven and Lexa lay pressed against her, Raven pressed against her back with a leg swung over Clarkes hip. She was lucky Clarke couldn’t kick her down from anything this time. And Lexa, her back against Clarkes front.

She wasn’t sure if it was Lexa or Clarke who had moved closer in their sleep, but Clarkes face was buried in her neck, hair everywhere, and an arm running across Lexas waist. Next time they’d get seperated tents. Or better yet, they’d never do this again. Every muscle in her body was sore from yesterdays hike and she wasn’t looking forward to the eight hours downward hike either.

Raven let out a long yawn, blinking her eyes open and removed her leg, seating. “Anyone awake?” She whispered. “Yeah.” Clarke answered, and to her surprise, Lexa as well. Lexa scooted slightly to the side so she could turn around and face them, still lying on her side. The fact that some people woke up looking like goddesses is plain rude, Clarke thought. (Not knowing Lexa was thinking pretty much the same thing)

“What time is it?” Raven asked and Clarke looked at her wrist watch. “Barely ten am.” She said before seating, and Lexa did the same and scooted back. “Who’s up for a bath in the lake?” Raven asked and Clarke nodded, maybe it’d perk her up. “You go ahead, I’ll fix breakfast in the meantime.” Lexa said and Raven raised a brow. “You didn’t bring a bikini? I told you too.” She complained as Lexa zipped down the tent opening. “I brought it, yes.” Lexa shrugged. “Great, then you’re bathing. Not your decision.” Raven smirked and moved ahead of Lexa out of the tent. “I find it’s easiest just to do as she says. Once Raven makes up her mind about something you can’t convince her otherwise.” Clarke said before crawling out as well, bringing the sleeping bags and packed them up as Lexa demolished the tent. 

“Fine, I surrender.” Lexa chuckled and finished up the tent and they dug into their bags to get their swim clothes. Once they had all changed they walked to the small lake that was right by their camp place and got in, Clarke dipping her head and moved her hair back. “It’s warmer than I thought.” She said and started swimming around in a small circle. 

“The water is dark, and dark colors absorb the sun more, instead of bouncing the heat back like white does.” Lexa said and Clarke raised a brow. “Is there anything you don’t know?” She asked and splashed Lexa with a grin. “Nice. What are you, twelve?” Lexa asked and Clarke stretched out her tongue playfully. Raven splashed Clarke who gasped. “Why? I thought we were a team!” Clarke pouted but Raven smirked. “Nah. I’m pairing up with the other brunette.” She said and splashed her again, and Clarke splashed them both back. Lexa started splashing her as well and Clarke grinned. “What are you, twelve?” She mimicked and Lexa repeated Clarkes answer and stuck out her tongue. 

Clarke splashed them with all her power, but since they were two against one it became clear pretty early that she couldn’t win. “I’d win if you didn’t gain up on me.” She scoffed and Raven chuckled. “Whatever you say.” Clarke moved to her back and floated on the water surface, closing her eyes. “Earth to Griffin.” Raven called and clamped a hand over her wrist, pulling her to her and Clarke got on her feet. “Yeah what’s up?” Raven nodded to Lexa, swimming a few yards away, her back rising under and on top of the water and Clarke watched it in awe.

Beautiful tanned skin and defined shoulder blades aside, a big tattoo trailed down her spine, an intricate design or lines and circles. “Now that’s some nice ink.” Raven said and whistled low. “Why do you say it like that?” She asked though she didn’t disagree. “Don’t you think I have nice tattoos?” Raven shrugged. “You do. I’m just saying. And I doubt Lexa would get a tattoo saying ‘mashed potatoes’ in Chineese.” 

Lexa swam towards them. “What about mashed potatoes? Hardly the best camp food.” she asked and Raven chuckled. “No, we’re talking about tattoos.” Lexa raised a brow. “You’re getting a tattoo of mashed potato? Is that your favorite dish or something?” She asked and Raven chuckled. “No Clarke once had a tattoo in chinese that said mashed potatoes.” She answered and Lexa turned to Clarke with an amused look. “Yeah pro tip? Don’t get a tattoo by your ex. And I learned my lesson not to get tattoos in other languages, and I had it removed with laser.” 

Lexa chuckled and nodded. “What was it supposed to say?” She asked and Clarke hesitated. “Faith.” She said and Lexa looked at her surprised. “You’re religious..?” She asked. “Not that there’s anything bad with that I just didn’t know.” She added quickly. “I’m not. It wasn’t faith in god but faith in.. well people. Sort of. My dad used to say if you have faith in people, even if it seems like they don’t deserve it, they might surprise you. They can change, for the better.” 

Lexa nodded, her vision going slightly down and she blinked before she met Clarkes gaze again. “That’s a sweet sentiment.” She said, but Clarke could sense she didn’t quite agree. “But?” She asked and Lexa shrugged. “I just don’t think everyone can.” She said truthfully and Clarke nodded, deciding to drop the subject. “What about your back tattoo? Purely decoration or?” Raven asked and Lexa nodded, though there was a second of hesitation. “Just a decoration.” She said as she glanced around. “Do you want to get breakfast? We should probably leave soon, we have a long way down.” 

They agreed and got up, trailing off into different parts of the forest to change. Afterwards they ate the sandwiches they had prepared back at home, and as they started their descent downwards, Clarke munched on the leftover marshmallows from last night. 

“You’re gonna get a stitch if you keep eating those whilst walking. It’s bad enough that we ate just before leaving.” Lexa said and Clarke shrugged. “Nah it’s just a few marshmallows, I’ll manage.” The walk down went faster than the walk up, and after just four hours Lexa guessed they had an hour remaining.

“What are you gonna do when you get home? I think I’m going to sleep for 48 hours straight.” Clarke said with a yawn. “Well I’ll probably take it easy.” Lexa nodded. “Power nap then out partying.” Raven said and Clarke and Lexa glanced at her, both groaning at the thought. “As long as you don’t count on me for company.” Clarke chuckled.

When they reached the end, Clarke had in fact gotten a stitch and groaned in self pity. She was sweaty, in pain over the stitch, her legs and feet were numb, and her back tired from carrying her back pack. They all got in Lexas car and Lexa drove Raven home before driving to Clarkes place. Clarke grabbed her bag and gave Lexa a hug. “Thanks for the ride.” She said with a smile before heading inside to her and Finn's house.

She dropped the bag on the hallway, kicking off her shoes and slumped into the couch, her whole body sore or numb or in pain. Finn came in from their bathroom in a suit and glanced at her. “There you are. We need to leave in thirty minutes. You’re cutting it a bit close.” Clarke looked up at him in confusion. “What are you talking about?” She asked and Finn sighed. “I told you last month. My office party.” 

Clarke straightened a bit. “That’s today? Why didn’t you remind me?” She asked. “Well you made it at least, jump in the shower.” Finn said and Clarke groaned. “Do I have to go with? My entire body is aching, and I never have anyone to talk to anyways at those parties, you always talk with your colleagues without including me.” Finn scoffed and shrugged. “Talk to their wives.” He said and Clarke rolled her eyes. “Do I really need to torment myself for hours to make pointless small talk to people I don’t know when you won’t even miss me there?” 

Finn seated next to her. “This is important to me, Clarke, I want you there. And it will look bad for me if you’re not.” Clarke felt a tug of guilt and she nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry, of course I’ll come with. But can you spend more time with me? At least bring me into the conversations with your friends.” She asked and Finn smiled. “Of course honey, I’ll be by your side the whole time.” 

Clarke took a shower, starting with cold water since she was hot, and then switched to warm. She washed her hair and scrubbed her body, putting on a red dress and did her makeup, walking out into the living room where Finn waited and he glanced at her and rose. “Let’s get going.”

“Want to start with some drinks?” Clarke asked when they arrived and Finn nodded, heading towards a table. “Wait here, I’ll get us some champagne.” He kissed her cheek and headed off to the bar and Clarke seated, glancing around the place, dozens of suit clad men and their wives or girlfriends talking, a few dancing. Finn didn’t like to dance, but maybe she’d manage to get him out on the dancefloor tonight. When she realized it had been a few minutes she glanced around, not seeing Finn by the bar but instead seeing him in a group with his friends. He wasn’t holding champagne, instead making jokes and laughing with them. 

But it would make sense that we wanted to say hi if he ran into them. Clarke rose and approached them, touching Finn's arm and smiled at his friends, all guys. “Hey.” She nodded. She was on first name bases with them all, but she had never had more than a few polite small talks with them. “What’s so funny?” She smiled and Finn glanced to her. “Honey I’ll be back in a minute.” He said, obviously wanting her to leave the group and she frowned. “Right, of course.” She returned to the table and watched their conversation from there. After a few minutes the group broke a part and Finn started to talk to someone else instead. Clarke sighed, realizing tonight would be like all of Finn's office parties. She was on her own. 

Her body protested when she walked across the room to chat with a few of the people she knew there, but after just thirty minutes she had gotten bored. Finn still hadn’t cared to even check up on her. She returned to the table, not making any more attempts to be social, she was way too tired and irritated to pretend to be in a good mood, and she stared at Finn as he moved from group to group. 

“What happened to your 48 hour coma?” Clarke turned around to see Lexa there, in suit as all the men, and Lexa walked up to her. “I forgot about this party, couldn’t miss it.” Clarke said and plastered on a fake smile. “I see Finn is doing a good job entertaining you.” Lexa glanced at Finn then back at Clarke who shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Go have fun.”

Lexa left, but returned within a minute with two drinks and handed her one and seated next to her. ”So what are you doing here Lexa?” She asked, taking a sip and leaned back. ”I’m a sponsor to this company. The owner invited me.. I was hoping to talk to him about business but he’s busy.” Clarke nodded and glanced her over. ”You look lovely.” Lexa said and Clarke blushed. ”Thanks.” She smiled and glanced back at Finn. ”Does he always leave you to entertain yourself? Why did you even come, you don’t seem to be having a good time.” Lexa asked and Clarke shrugged. ”Because it’s important to him.” Lexa nodded, Clarke knew she was holding back a comment but she remained silent. 

”You don’t have to keep me company. Go mingle.” Clarke offered and Lexa scoffed. ”Not really the mingling type. You know that.” Clarke tilted her head. ”Do I? You’re pretty mysterious ms. Woods.” She teased and Lexa smiled. ”You don’t seem to have an issue reading me.” Clarke shrugged, finishing her drink and watched Lexa sip her own. ”Dance with me?” She asked and Lexa looked up from her drink and nodded. ”Why not.” She put down her glass and rose, offering a hand to Clarke who took it and rose, and they walked towards the dance floor. 

A new song came on and Clarke stepped closer, leading Lexas hands to her hips and placed her own at Lexas shoulders. They started moving to the music slowly and Clarke looked up at Lexas green eyes. ”You’re really good at this. Who taught you how to dance?” Clarke asked, regretting it immediately when she saw Lexas gaze flicker.

”Costia.. the ex fiance” She answered, mustering a smile. ”You?” she asked, Clarke stroking her shoulders slightly as a gesture of support. ”My dad. I’d dance on his feet, like all little girls do. You didn’t do that with your dad?” She asked and Lexa shook her head. ”He wasn’t really that type of dad.” She said quietly. 

”What type of dad was he?” Clarke asked uncertain. ”Just.. not that kind.” Clarke frowned, she was constantly finding new questions about Lexa, but received little answers. 

”Maybe he was afraid that those big feet of yours would squish his.” She joked, sensing Lexas need in a change of topic. ”They’re not big! They’re average for a girl in my height.”

”Mhm.” Clarke chuckled. ”Whatever you say.” Lexa chuckled, adjusting her grip of Clarke as she let her out in a twirl, Clarke twirling back into her arms with a smile, stopping when she was chest to chest with Lexa. 

”You..” Clarke started. 

”What are you doing here?” She heard the voice behind her and sighed. That’s the second time they had been interrupted by Finn. She glanced back to see him standing behind her. Lexa gently let go of her. ”I was invited.” She said and raised her head as she looked Finn over. 

”By my fiance?” Finn asked and Lexa raised a brow. ”No your girlfriend didn’t invite me. Your boss did. Because I’m the one keeping this place floating.” 

As the new information sunk in with Finn his face turned pink. ”Well you’re a little too familiar with Clarke. That’s twice now. You don’t want to do it again, trust me.” 

Lexa scoffed and stepped closer, squaring her jaw, her eyes thunder blaze. ”I wouldn’t threaten me, if I were you.”

Clarke watched in awe, she had never seen this side in Lexa before. ”I came to give you a drink and I find you slow dancing with her.” Finn said and Clarke sighed. ”Yeah well you were supposed to bring me that drink an hour ago. You promised me you wouldn’t abandon me again. And Lexa is a friend, so stop your macho act.” She grabbed her bag from her chair. 

”We’re leaving. Have fun with your friends.” she continued. Finn reached for her arm. ”Okay, let’s go.” He smiled and Clarke scoffed. ”No. I was telling you. Me and Lexa are leaving. And don’t count on seeing me tonight, I’m spending the night at Lexas.” She backed away from Finn with a sharp glare and turned to Lexa. ”Sounds good to me.” Lexa said and they headed out. Finn might have caused a scene, if it wasn’t because that would embarrass himself in front of his colleagues.

They got into Lexas car and Clarke sighed. ”Why are you with someone who acts like that?” Lexa asked and Clarke pressed her lips together. ”Finn is a good guy. No one is perfect. He might act a certain way at these parties but he just wants everyone to like him.” Lexa nodded. ”It’s so important to him that you come in second to his need to be popular.” 

There it was again. Lexas comments were always spot on, she had a talent for finding inconvenient truths. ”You don’t even know him.” Clarke responded and sighed. ”Can you drop me off at Raven?” She asked and Lexa glanced at her. ”You changed your mind about staying at my place?” She asked. 

”I said that to piss off Finn, but I don’t want to impose.” Lexa smiled. ”You’re not. I’d love your company, and you know I have plenty of room.” Clarke glanced at her gratefully. ”Your place it is.” 

She turned on the radio, finding a channel she liked. ”I love this song!” She started singing along and Lexa chuckled. ”Are you laughing at me?” Clarke raised a brow. ”Never.” Lexa smiled innocently before starting to sing a long, slightly reserved and quiet, but Clarke still heard her smooth, pleasing voice. 

They both sang a bit longer until Lexa seemed more secure, both singing loudly now and Clarke chuckled and they grinned at each other. 

Clarkes phone rang, and she saw Ravens name on the screen, along with her contact icon, a picture of Raven pursing her lips together in an air kiss. ”Hey Ra—” she was interrupted by an unfamiliar male voice and gestured for Lexa to turn of the music. She swallowed thickly when she heard what the man repeated. ”Is— is she alright? You—” Clarkes eyes teared. ”I understand. I’ll be right there.”


	7. Chapter 7.

Clarke sat on the hospital bench in the waiting room, staring right ahead. Her throat was dry like sandpaper, her mind numb. A slender hand interlaced with hers and Clarke glanced to her side where Lexa was sitting, and she squeezed the brunettes hand. 

”If I still worked here I could get in there. I could be useful.” Clarke said in a low, raspy voice. ”They have their most qualified trauma surgeons on it.” Lexa was right, of course, but still. Clarke had been head of trauma for a reason. She had been their best surgeon. ”And I’m sure they’ll come out with some news soon.” Clarke nodded and released Lexas hand, wiping off a few stray tears. ”I know.” She said and rested her head against Lexas shoulder, and the brunette moved her slender fingers through her blonde locks, soothing Clarke as she started relaxing a bit. 

”You don’t have to be here Lexa. You must have a really bad case of deja vu right now.” She said, thinking about what Lexa had told her about Costia. 

Raven had been crossing a street when she was hit by a car. Luckily the driver had the good sense and stop and get an unconscious Raven to the hospital before he had took off. Clarke was Ravens emergency contact, so she had been contacted quickly.

There were no words from the surgery yet, and Clarke had no idea how serious it was, but they’ve been sitting there for a little over an hour, meaning Raven was alive, but there was a lot to do. 

“I’m not leaving you Clarke.” Lexa ensured and Clarke moved her head off her shoulder and looked up at her. “Thank you.” She said in a barely audible whisper. Lexa nodded and smiled, and Clarke moved up to sit normally. “Could.. ehm.. could you get me some water? I don’t want to leave, in case someone comes out with news.” Lexa nodded and rose, grabbing her blazer and walked off to the cafeteria. Clarke rubbed her eyes with a sigh. Abby owned the hospital, and she was heading here now. Clarke had also texted Octavia before her phone died.

“There you are.” Clarke looked up to see Finn walking into the waiting room. He approached her quickly and pulled her into a hug. Clarkes arms hung useless at her sides. “Finn? What are you doing here?” She asked confused. “Octavia called me when she got your text, she assumed I was with you. Why didn’t you call?” 

Clarke seated back down and Finn seated next to her, moving an arm around her shoulders. “I know we fought but this is important. You should have called me directly, so I can be by your side in this.” Clarke held back a sigh. “I had other things on my mind, Finn. But I’m alright, and mom is on her way. You should go home, take a shower and get some rest.” She said, smelling the bourbon from Finn all though at least he wasn’t drunk. 

“Nonsense. I’m here for you.” He insisted. Lexa returned with two glasses of water, seeing them and stopped. “Oh.” She hesitated at the sight of them, Clarke under Finn's arm and she put down the water glasses on the table, wondering if Finn would have another outburst. “Octavia called Finn.” Clarke explained, her gaze apologetic. 

“Alright.” Lexa nodded, hanging her blazer on a coat hook. “Thank you for being here for my Clarke, but she has me now. You don’t have to stay.” Finn said, holding out his free arm to shake Lexas hand and Lexa viewed it with sceptically. “Well I’m staying anyways.” Lexa said, ignoring the hand.

“Why?” Finn asked and Lexa had to keep from rolling her eyes. “Well Raven is my friend too.” She glanced at him, he opened his mouth but closed it when Clarke nudged his side. Lexa seated on the bench across from them, her and Clarke watching each other. 

Octavia rushed into the room, her black hair a mess, and she was wearing sweats and a big hoodie. Clarke couldn’t remember the last time she saw her like that. Octavia always made sure she looked flawless before going out in public. “Is she okay?” She asked, and Clarke rose to give her a hug. Octavia wasn’t usually a hugger but she squeezed Clarke close to her, holding on for several seconds. “We haven’t heard anything yet.” Clarke said when they parted and Octavia nodded, glancing around the room. “What are you doing here?” She asked Lexa before eyeing everyone's outfit confused and Clarke remembered she was wearing a dress and the other two suits. 

“I was with Lexa when I got the call. She’s Ravens friend too, and she wanted to make sure I wasn’t alone.” Octavia nodded and seated next to Finn. “I met your mom in the garage, she’s going to check on the surgery.” Octavia said and Clarke breathed out, some of her tension letting out. They’d know soon. She seated next to Lexa as there were no more room on the two people benches where Finn and Octavia was sitting and she leaned back, glancing at Lexa. 

“I’m sure she’ll be fine honey.” Finn said, causing a wrinkle in Clarkes forehead. “No you don’t.” she grabbed the glass Lexa had gotten her and gulped it down in one go. The group sat in silence for a few more minutes, no one knowing what to say, when Abby finally came into the visiting room. Clarke leaped to her feet and approached her. 

“What did they say? Is she okay? What’s her injuries?” She asked in one breath and Abby held up a hand to silence her before meeting Clarkes eyes calmly. “She’s stable.” She said and Clarke breathed out in relief. “But.. except for some bad bruising and a light concussion her spine is badly fractured, the vertebra in her low back at T12-L1. Several of her nerves are pinched, and a fragment.. it has dug into the spinal canal. We don’t know yet if the spinal cord is injured as well. They’re moving slowly, you know how delicate these matters are but they have an Orthopedic surgeon with them as well.”

Clarke swallowed and Octavia rose to join the conversation. “English, please, for those who didn’t spend eight years in med school.” She said in an irritated tone and glared at Abby, who didn’t seem to mind. 

“Her spine is damaged. We don’t know how severe yet. With any luck she will heal completely after a few weeks with crutches and physical terapi. But if the spinal cord, which is what sends messages from the brain to the body about movement and such, is injured, she might be motion hindered for life. How much and in which regions depends on the injury. As soon as they know if it’s intact or not they will come with more news, but for now that’s all they know.” 

Clarke grabbed her moms arms and looked into her eyes. “Mom. Please. I need to be in there. I can help, you know i can.” Abby shook her head. “And you know I can’t do that. But Jackson is amazing at his job. He will do everything he can.”

“So.. she might be in a wheelchair? For the rest of her life?” Octavia asked and Abby nodded. “That is a possibility.” Clarke glanced at her mom. She knew that she was very fond of Raven as well, she had known her as long as Clarke had. Raven was almost as a foster kid to Abby, she had spent more nights at their place than her own home when they were teenagers.

She pulled her into a hug before parting. “Get back in there?” She asked and Abby nodded. “Of course.” She stroke Clarkes cheek before leaving, and Clarke and Octavia hugged again, Octavia crying, her body shaking. “Raven is tough. Whatever the outcome, you know she’ll get through this.” Clarke said quietly into her shoulder and Octavia nodded. “Yeah, she’s badass.” Octavia parted and smiled, and Clarke wiped off some of her tears. 

Octavia walked off to the bathroom to wash her face and Clarke seated, breathing out shakily. This was all too much at once, yet she was a trauma surgeon, she was used to this. She couldn’t imagine how Octavia was feeling. 

After two more hours in the waiting room, there was finally more news. Finn had left to change clothes and get a charger, and Octavia lay sprawled out on one of the benches, asleep. Lexa had offered Clarke her blazer and draped it over her shoulders, Clarke inhaling the comforting smell of vanilla. She and Lexa had sat in silence for almost thirty minutes, both knowing there was nothing they could say that would be comforting, so they just sat in silence, their hands laced together. 

Abby and Jackson walked into the waiting room, both with lowered masks around their necks. Clarke was too tired to get up or move, instead just looked up at them. The silence was a bad sign. “The spinal cord is injured, slightly punctured. The fractured spine is adjusted and alright again, but we don’t quite know how badly hit the spinal cord was, how much was affected. We won’t know until she wakes up. She might need another surgery. But even with a damaged spinal cord she might recover. She’s asleep now, the narcoses will most likely hold on for eight more hours. Go home, get some sleep.” 

Clarke swallowed thickly, taking in what they were saying. She glanced at Lexa and a sleeping Octavia. She knew the drill. The best thing to do for Raven now was get some sleep, and return with plastered smiles in eight hours, pretending to be okay. Raven didn’t like to face her problems head on, and she hated seeing people feel bad for her. She stretched a leg slightly, then the other, and slowly moved off the bench and rose.

Lexa talked to Abby and Jackson as Clarke squatted by Octavia. “Hey.” She nudged her shoulder and Octavia woke up, she obviously wasn’t in a very deep sleep. “Raven is in recovery, we’re heading home. Come on, l’ll tell you everything in the car.” Octavia seated, glancing at the doctors heading out of the room and Lexa watching them. “No. Tell me now.” She demanded. “Well.. what we were hoping wouldn’t happen happened. They still don’t know how bad it is, and they won’t know until Raven wakes up. The best we can do right now is go home and get some sleep, yeah?” 

Octavia hesitated, as if she was going to argue, but nodded. She didn’t ask any more questions, maybe she was afraid of the answers. The three of them headed down in the garage and got into Lexas car. “Can you come with me? I don’t want to be alone. You too Lexa.” Octavia asked and Clarke nodded. “Yeah of course.” She smiled and Lexa nodded. “Whatever you need.” 

They quickly drove to Octavias bungalow, a modern home with only two bedrooms. The three of them seated in the couch, Octavia turning on a movie, none of them ready to sleep, all of them in need of a distraction. “Do you guys want anything to drink, or eat?” Octavia asked and Clarke shook her head. “No I’m good.” Lexa said. They leaned back, Octavia pressed against Clarkes left side, her head on her shoulder, and Lexa sitting on her right side. Clarke glanced at her and saw her gaze glued to the screen, but she doubted Lexa was truly watching it, she seemed tense, her bottom lip being gnawed on which didn’t really match Lexas usual casual gracious behaviours.

After half the movie Octavia yawned and walked into her bedroom to get some sleep, Clarke and Lexa staying in the couch, watching the movie but not focusing on it. When it ended Clarke glanced at Lexa again. “We should get some sleep. There’s a guest room on the other side of the kitchen.” She said and turned of the tv. “I’ll take the couch.” Lexa said and Clarke rolled her eyes. “It’s a king bed, Lexa. We both fit in it. Come on.” Clarke showed her the way before Lexa could protest again. 

“Want some clothes to sleep in?” Clarke asked, digging up some of her own clothes she had left here after the girlsnight. “I’ll just sleep in t-shirt and underwear if that’s okay.” Clarke nodded and undressed, her back to Lexa who watched it, the tattoos against her slightly tanned skin, the stark blue feathers stretching down her back, slightly covered by the bra strap and she looked down at Clarkes full hips,

Clarke got pj shorts and a long sleeved on before turning around to Lexa, seeing her gaze quickly move down and Clarke wondered if she had been watching her. She got under the cover as Lexa undressed and soon joined her, making sure there was a respectful difference between them.

“Are you alright?” Lexa asked and examined Clarkes face who nodded after some hesitation. “Under the circumstances.” She said, scooting closer to Lexa. They were both lying on their sides, facing each other. “Are you?” Clarke asked back. “Under these circumstances, yes.” Lexa mirrored. “I’m mostly mad.” She said and Clarke frowned. “At what?” She asked. 

“At the fact that Raven has to go through this. At the driver.” Lexa said and Clarke moved her hand around her wrist and stroke it. “Accidents happens. At least he drove her to the hospital. There’s no point in holding on to anger.” She said and stroke Lexas wrist with her thumb. “It’s hard not to. I don’t.. handle my anger that well.” Lexa confessed. “You have anger issues? I’ve almost never seen you be anything but cool and collected.” 

Lexa nodded, hesitating and glanced down. “I do. They were worse when I was a teenager, I didn’t take any medication and I didn’t do anything to try to control myself. I got in a lot of trouble. But when I finally went to the doctor they diagnosed me and gave me some pills that help.. not a hundred percent though, I’m still very quick to anger, which can lead to losing control if I indulge myself in it. But I box, and I exercise a lot, meditate.. that helps.”

Clarke examined her face, nodding slightly. “You’ve come a long way from troubled teenager.” She smiled and Lexa nodded, regarding her with a certain hesitation. “I guess I have.” She shrugged. “I’m going to get some sleep.” She muttered and closed her eyes, Clarke scooting slightly closer and closed her eyes as well, allowing herself to cuddle into Lexas warmth, and Lexa moved an arm around her, allowing the closeness, and they both took comfort from each other in the straining day. 

Lexa fell asleep quickly, but for Clarke sleep refused to come until hours later. When she woke up she felt like she had been asleep for minutes, if even that. Her eyes cracked open, still heavy with sleep. She popped her head up from where it had found a rest place on Lexas chest and looked up at her, only to see that she was already awake. “Hey.” Clarke said quietly with a small smile. “Hi.” Lexa replied. “Are you ready to go check up on Raven?” The reality of yesterday sunk in and Clarke swallowed. “No.” She said, her voice breaking and she bit her lip. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Lexa scooted up into sitting position and wrapped her arms around Clarke who buried her face in her neck. “It’s not. She’s the one who got hurt and here I am sobbing.” Clarke parted from their embrace, their faces mere inches apart and Clarke swallowed, her gaze traveling down to Lexas lips, inching closer, their lips all but touching now.


	8. Chapter 8.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stuff happens LMAO im bad at summarys

Clarke suddenly realized what she was doing and moved away hastily. “I’m so sorry.” She said, moving away from Lexa out of bed. “God I’m such a mess, what am I doing?!” 

“It’s okay.” Lexa said after a moment of recovering and straightened. “You’re upset, we were having a moment.. it’s understandable.” She ensured her and got out of bed as well. “It’s not. We’re friends... and I have a boyfriend!” Clarke looked at Lexa quickly before rushing out of the room.

Lexa sighed, dressing quickly. She should have moved away, jerked her head back when she noticed Clarkes gaze, but she had been paralyzed, unable to move. But they hadn’t done anything, and that was what mattered. Clarke didn’t even like her, she was just upset, in need of comfort. She tucked her shirt into her pants and moved her hair behind her shoulders so it flowed down her back before walking out, glancing around and saw Clarke and Octavia stand in the kitchen. 

They were standing close, both leaning over each side of the counter. When they heard her footsteps they both looked up at her. “Want some coffee?” Octavia asked, drinking some herself from a giant novelty mug and Clarke nursed her own cup. “Yes, thank you, and please tell me it’s strong.” She said as she joined them. “Strong and black like my soul.” Octavia said and poured her some, mastering a cheeky grin but it was quite obvious she wasn’t really in a humorous mood, with bags under her eyes and red, tearstained eyes. “Perfect.” Lexa smiled and took a sip. 

All three of them jumped in their newly awaken state when Clarkes phone rang from the couch and Clarke hurried up to it, turning a cushion before finding it. She frowned disappointed when she saw Finns name instead of her moms on the screen. No news then. When she realized she had failed to send him a text last night of where she went she bit her lip, fuck, she was a bad girlfriend.

“Hey Honey.” She answered in a low voice, Finn answering in an irritated voice. “Imagine my surprise when I come back yesterday and your mom tell me you left. Did you forget about me? Where have you been, at Lexas place?” Clarke glanced at the two brunettes watching her curiously and she snuck into the guest room. “I’m so sorry Finn, I forgot, and no we spent the night at Octavias.” There was a sigh on the other end and Clarke bit her lower lip furiously, promising herself she’d make it up to him when Raven was better. “Well I was- It’s not really about me though, Clarke, but one of your best friends is in the hospital and I want to be there for you, and it’s almost like you don’t want me to. But we’re together, you should lean on me for support.” 

For a quick second Clarke thought about the number of “I’s and me’s” was in a sentence he claimed wasn’t about him, and she felt irritation rising in her gut. “My best friend is in the hospital, I don’t have time to play perfect couple with you.” She said, immediately regretting snapping at him. “I’m sorry I didn’t..” She was interrupted. “Well, you won’t have to pretend any longer.” He ended the call and Clarke cursed herself for the giant sized foot in her mouth. She called him but he didn’t answer. She sent an apology text but got no reply, so finally she decided to get out, Octavia and Lexa glancing at her when she joined them again.

“Trouble in paradise?” Octavia asked and Clarke nodded. “Let’s just say I’m not winning awards for best girlfriend any time soon.” She confessed, glancing at Lexa quickly before taking her coffee cup and drank quietly.

“What happened?” They both asked at once and Clarke groaned. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” She finished her coffee, grateful they accepted her privacy and stayed quiet. “I’m hijacking your shower before we leave.” She told Octavia who nodded and Clarke got into the bathroom, undressing and getting in the shower. If it was anything that would usually get her mood up it was a shower, and Octavias ridiculous collection of scrubs, hair masks and different scented soaps was usually heaven, but today she barely gave it a thought as she scrubbed herself clean, regretting her rough touches when she came out with a soft redness where her scrub glove had worked extra hard. 

She dressed in some of the spare clothes she had saved here and offered Lexa new underwear and a t-shirt, sadly both Clarke and Octavia was to short to offer her a decent pair of pants but Lexa didn’t seem to mind that she had to wear her own from yesterday. When they were all dressed, and had another cup of coffee in their system, they went to the hospital. Abby hadn’t called meaning Raven was still asleep but they didn’t want to stay in the apartment any longer, and they wanted to be right there when she woke up. 

A part of Clarke had thought Finn would come to the hospital despite their fight, but that wasn’t the case. Clarke navigated them to the right floor and approached the front desk with a smile. “Hi we’re here regarding ms Raven Reyes, s-” The nurse interrupted her. “Are you family?” She asked and looked at the three of them doubtfully.

“No.. not by blood.” Clarke said confused, Raven wasn’t in the ICU anymore so anyone should be able to visit her during the right hours. “Of course. You can go in, but she might still be asleep. Keep your voice calm and don’t do anything to overwhelm her.” Clarke nodded gratefully and they walked into the hospital room.

“Is your mom..” Lexa started to say but quieted when she saw Raven, lying still with IV’s connected to her, her skin pale. She fell dead silent, and Clarke stepped closer when Lexa turned around to look at the wall. “Hey. It’s okay. She’ll be okay.” Clarke took her hand and squeezed it, waiting until Lexa met her gaze to smile. “She got lucky.” Clarke said.

“Lucky? Not what I would call it.” Raven said in a harsh tone. Well, as harsh it can be when you’re newly awake and your voice is a horse whisper. They all turned to her surprised and ran to her side. Raven glanced at Clarke, nothing moving but her gaze. “Sorry, I heard your conversation. Just took a minute to fully wake up.”

Clarke dove towards her and hugged her, Raven coughing. “That’s great make it so the sickling can’t breathe as well.” She said. “Sorry.” Clarke backed, seeing Octavia look at Raven hesitantly and Raven met her gaze. “I can leave if you want um.. I just wanted to see that you were okay.” Octavia said, her voice breaking a little. Raven looked at her for a few seconds before shaking her head. “It’s okay.. stay” She said and Octavia nodded.

An awkward tension settled over the room before Lexa approached Raven slowly. “How are you feeling?” Clarke asked. “Like sugar and spice and everything nice.. I was hit by a car how do you think I’m feeling?” Clarke glanced down at her feet awkwardly. 

Abby came in with a chart in hand and smiled at Raven. “Look at that, my favorite girl is awake.” Clarke raised a brow. “Thanks mom.” She said and Abby shot her an amused glance. “I have some news, I assume you want the girls here?” She glanced down in her chart. “No.” Raven said and Clarke glanced at her surprised. “Are you sure?” She asked and Raven nodded. Hesitantly, Clarke, Lexa and Octavia left the room. “She’s probably just telling her what we already know.” Clarke said and seated on one of the stiffer selections of chairs. “About the spinal damage.. I’m just surprised Raven didn't want us there, we’re always there for each other.” Octavia nodded. “Exactly. And she definitely seemed off.” 

“She just came out of a heavy surgery. It makes sense that she’s a bit on edge.” Lexa assured them with a cautious smile and Clarke glanced at her and nodded. “Yeah. You’re absolutely right.” She hesitated, letting the need to take her hand pass by and she leaned back in her seat. “She’s gonna be okay. Back to normal in no time.” Octavia said and Clarke closed her eyes, not wanting to burst her bubble.

Octavia had always had unreasonable expectations, but she hoped she was right. Abby came back out, her hands on her chart and Clarke rose. “So?” She asked, wanting to know everything but Abby shook her head. “Look she asked me not to say anything.. you’ll have to ask her.” Abby disappeared quickly and Clarke looked after her surprised as Octavia pushed the door open. “Okay what the hell Reyes spill it. What’s up?” 

Raven looked up at Octavia then the three of them. “Don’t worry about me.” She mumbled. “You should go home, all of you.” Clarke frowned. “Raven, come on. We get through this together, like always.” She approached her and took her hand and Raven looked up at her. “Except we’re not in this together, Clarke. I’m the one who was hit by a car. I’m the one who-” Raven quieted, blinking away some tears and looked away. “Who might never walk again.” She mumbled and Clarke squeezed her hand. “Is that what mom told you?” She bit her lip. “I told you to leave! We’re not in this together and I don’t want you here.” Raven wrestled her hand free and turned away. 

“No but Ray-” Raven interrupted her. “Just go.” She said, looking away. Clarke glanced at Octavia and nodded. “Okay, we’ll give you some privacy. But we’ll be back soon okay? Love you.” She said, taking off when there was no reply from Raven. “Can you two get home alone? I think I’ll stay here.” Lexa said once they were out of the room and Clarke frowned. “What? Why, she doesn’t want us.” Lexa shrugged. “I have nothing better to do. Look you can take my car. I’ll stay here, make some calls.” 

Clarke hesitated. “Then maybe we should all stay.” She said and Octavia nodded and crossed her arms. “It’s better if you do as she asked. Look come back in an hour, maybe two, I’m sure she’ll have calmed down then.” Clarke sighed, Lexa extending her car keys to her. “Just.. call if something happens.” Lexa nodded and Clarke took the key. “Let’s go O. I’ll drive you home, then I should talk to Finn.” She said, not looking forward to dealing with any of it.

When she came home she left her bag in the hallway and walked into the living room, Finn watching some politician debate. Clarke seated next to him and kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry, I’m just on edge with this whole Raven thing.” She whispered and he turned to her. “How is she?” He asked, Clarke unable to sense if he was actually worried or just pretending for Clarke. “Not too great.” She sighed, leaning back and folded her legs to her chest. Finn turned off the tv and turned to her. “We need to talk.” He said and Clarke groaned inside. Not now. Not when she was sleep deprived, her friend was seriously injured and pushing her away, and her mind was everywhere but in the right place for a serious conversation. 

“I know we do. But can’t it wait? Please?” Finn shook his head. “Look.. I brought up the marriage topic to you the day before you lost your job.” Clarke felt the urge to point out that she hadn’t lost it, yet at least, but she kept quiet. “Your surprised look wasn’t exactly what I expected but I accepted what you said about it being too soon to think about marriage. But..” He rose, walking up to the bookshelf, grabbing something from a drawer. Clarkes heart began racing and she inhaled sharply. Please don’t let it be an engagement ring, please please don’t.. 

Finn returned and unfolded his palm, revealing just that. An engagement ring.


	9. Chapter 9.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha sorry for ending the last chapter on such a huge cliffhanger xD but hopefully you'll like this chapter ;)

“I need to know our relationship isn’t just pretending for you, Clarke. We don’t need to get married right away, but I need to know we’re heading that way. Put it on.” Clarke took the ring, studying it before shaking her head, placing it back into his palm. “Do you want a bigger rock? Or for the ring to be silver?” Finn asked and Clarke drew a shaky breath. “I can’t marry you, Finn.” Clarke said and bit her lip furiously, curling up more and looked up at him. “Why not? I know you love me.”

Clarke glanced away, wiping away a few tears. “You shouldn’t wait for me.” She whispered. Finn grabbed her arm and pulled her up, forcing her to face him. “What is this about? Do you like someone else?” Clarke shook her head. “That’s not what this is about.” She said. “I..” She swallowed. “The.. the night you were going to propose.. I was going to break up with you.”

Finn frowned, letting go of her. “What are you talking about?” He asked demanding. “I loved you, I did. But I realized you weren’t right for me. I was going to end it, but then you brought up marriage.. I panicked. I told you I wasn’t ready to keep you from proposing, and I told myself I’d break up with you the next day but..” 

Finn closed his eyes. “The next day you lost your patient, and your job.” Clarke nodded. “But that was weeks ago! You’ve had plenty of time to break up with me, instead of keeping my hopes up that we had a future together.” 

Clarke took a deep breathe. “I know. I’m sorry. I.. I told myself that I had changed my mind. That I wanted to be with you.” She wiped away more tears furiously. “B-But deep down.. I think.. I just held on because I..I needed something safe, and familiar. My whole world had just turned upside down and I just needed something to.. hold on to.”

Finn snorted. “Good to know how much I mean to you. Who cares about my feelings, right, as long as you feel better.” Clarke took his hand. “I do care about you, Finn. I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

She let go when she saw Finns icy stare and she took a step back. “Well you did. Hurt me. You’re a lot of things Clarke, but I never thought you were this selfish. But now it’s my turn. This is my house. Pack up your stuff. I want you gone in an hour.” 

“Finn-” she hesitated, closing her mouth when she realized she had nothing to say to make this right. “Okay.” She nodded, wiping more tears away with the back of her hand, but more kept falling so it didn’t do much of a difference. Their gaze met, and they held it for a moment, Clarke seeing pain behind Finn’s anger, pain that she had caused. She swallowed and she looked down.

“I’ll leave you too it. Just.. take what you need. I’ll pack up the rest for you and send it. I just want you out.” He walked out of the living room, Clarke soon hearing the front door slamming shut, and she wrapped her arms around herself tightly, like she was trying to keep herself from falling apart.

There was a travel bag at the top of the hallway closet. Clarke didn’t want to stop and think, she just wanted to act. Leave. Not give herself time to think. She grabbed a stool, carrying it to the closet and climbed on top of it. She grabbed the handle for the top of the closet, meeting resistance. She yanked harder, the door opening in an instance, and she almost lost balance. She grabbed the travel bag and a duffle bag.

Stepping down from the stool she gasped in pain as she stepped on something and she moved her foot, seeing the ring. She stared at it for a moment before pushing the corner of the mat over it with her foot. She didn’t have time to break down, and she didn’t want to think. Not about the hurt in Finn's eyes. Not what she was going to do now. Not about Raven in that hospital bed. She packed everything she thought she’d need, just throwing it into the bags, continuously wiping her eyes and going to blow her nose. 

She got her shoes on and walked outside. She had her car here, as well as Lexas car. She decided it was better to take Lexas and got in it, driving away from the house, seeing it in her rearview mirror before forcing herself to look ahead. She wanted to go straight to the hospital, but the bags would be noticed and questioned. She could go to Octavias..but she didn’t want to burden her with more news and confusion, the Raven thing was more than enough for her to deal with.

She had a spare key to her moms, but didn’t want to go there. She drove to Ravens, it was empty now anyways. She opened the door with her spare keys, leaving the bags in the hallway. The temptation to get into her bed was overwhelming, but she went to the bathroom instead, washing her face.

Her eyes looked a bit red, and so did her nose, but there wasn’t much to do about that. She decided she might as well go directly to the hospital. It was either that or sit here feeling sorry for herself. Clarke was the last one who deserved pity now anyways. She texted Octavia but didn’t get a reply so she guessed she was asleep, she could get her later. She drove to the hospital, letting out a deep sigh. She was going to be strong for Raven. She got out and locked the car, getting to the right floor and returned to the same waiting room as before. 

Lexa was sitting perfectly still, her eyes closed, but she opened them when she heard her steps and looked at her, seeing her red eyes but didn’t say anything. Break up or not, crying isn’t out of place when your best friend was in the hospital. “What were you doing? trying to sleep?” Clarke asked and seated next to her. “Just meditating.” Lexa said and Clarke nodded. “I’ve never understood that. How do you empty your mind of thoughts? I always have so many thoughts.. would be nice to have a break from them.” 

Lexa nodded. “Well it’s not exactly about emptying your mind.. but I could try teatching you sometime.” She suggested and Clarke nodded, glancing at the door to Ravens room. “Nothing new on Raven I assume.” She wondered with a quiet sigh. “No, I’m sorry. A nurse was in there a while ago, she told me she was sleeping.” Clarke nodded. “Or pretending to.. I should go check on her.” She got up and walked into Ravens room again.

The IV’s were all gone, no cords connected to Raven or tubes. She was lying with her back facing Clarke, but she could tell she was awake, her breathing having stopped for a moment when she came in, and was too heavy to seem natural. Clarke walked up to the bed, Raven lying in the middle. “Move over. We both know you’re not asleep.” There was a moment of hesitation before Raven scooted to the edge of the bed so Clarke could climb in it. Not a very doctor like thing to do, but it was fine. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Raven mumbled and Clarke nodded. “Okay.” She said, and they lay in silence for a moment. “We’re over.” Clarke mumbled. “Me and Finn.” Raven shuffled, managing to turn around in the small bed they were sharing. She examined Clarke with a frown. “Why?” Clarke shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it.” She said, repeating Ravens earlier sentence.

“Are you okay?” Raven asked, moving her finger to stroke the redness under Clarke's eyes. “Yeah.” She nodded, hesitating. “No.” she said, her voice breaking a little. “I don’t know.” Encouraged by Clarkes honesty Raven offered her a small smile. “So do you think people will hire a PT in a wheelchair? I think so. And hey, I’ll always be in perfect position to get a lap dance. Won't have to get a chair at the strip clubs or trains.. and think of all the sympathy bangs coming my way.” They both let out a soft chuckle before it silenced, and they met each other's gaze. 

“It’s not for sure. The wheelchair thing. I’m just.. expecting the worst. After a lifetime of experience.” Raven said and Clarke took her hand, squeezing it. “I know. but whatever happens-” Raven interrupted her. “I know. Together.”

_______________________________________________________

It had been a couple of days and Raven was being released from the hospital ( too early in the doctors opinions, but Raven didn’t care ) As Clarke rolled her out of the hospital in her wheelchair, there was a cold morning breeze pinching her nose, but the sun baked them in a warm glow as they walked the small distance to her car. Getting Raven into her car, even with Octavias help, was a little of a struggle, and you could tell Ravens mood only got worse with every passing second. Their talk three days ago hadn’t kept Ravens mood from dipping several times since then. She had thrown a pillow at a nurse, yelled at them to get out of her room more than once, and sent sour looks to anyone who asked how she was.

Things between her and Octavia had been a bit awkward, but Raven didn’t argue her presence, and they had started getting a little back to normal the last day, with a small hesitation at certain moments.

Clarke got behind the wheel of the car, Octavia seating next to Raven in the back and attempted to chit chat. They had decided to take Raven home, but have someone with her all of the time. Clarke had taken most ‘shifts’ since she currently had no job to go to, no boyfriend, and no home.  
She had been sleeping at Ravens place, tidying up and getting ready for Ravens home return, and she’d be sleeping at her moms at the odd night she wasn’t at Ravens. She hadn’t told anyone about the break up yet, except for Raven and her mom who she had sworn to secrecy. 

Raven was who they needed to focus on, and she didn’t want their sympathetic looks or questions about what happened. She still felt like crap, and the image of Finns hurt look was probably forever scorched into her cornea. She blinked her eyes a few times, trying to force the image away. When she pulled up to Ravens house, Lexas car was already there. She was standing outside the door, dressed in cargo pants and a white tank top tucked into the lining, a flannel shirt knotted against her waist. Even in a casual look she looked elegant. 

As Clarke parked and got out, Lexa had already approached the car, opened the door by Raven and lifted her up into her arms. “I’m not a fucking baby.” Raven complained, knowing herself that the easiest solution was for Lexa to carry her inside so Clarke could carry the empty wheelchair up the few porch steps that led to Ravens door. 

“Baby huh? I was thinking more like the hot woman in a burning building that I get the fortune of rescuing.” Lexa smirked. Raven raised a brow. “Are you a firefighter in this scenario?” She asked and Clarke glanced at them, imagining Lexa in a fire fighter uniform. Not a bad visual. “Obviously. These are pole sliding muscles.” She chuckled, flexing the bicep supporting Ravens legs. Raven grinned, her mood lightened as Lexa placed her in the couch. 

“So what do you want to watch? Imagine me & you? Twist it like Beckham?” Lexa asked and Raven scoffed. “Could you be more gay?” She smirked as Lexa seated next to her, Clarke joining them as Octavia fixed some snacks. “Pretty sure she can’t. She’s like the gay overlord or something.. or the gay commander in the gay army fighting for the gay agenda.” Clarke said and Lexa raised a brow. “How do you know what the gay agenda is?” She smirked. “I’m bi smartass of course I know the gay agenda.” 

“Oh please. Bisexuality is a fraud, you’re just indecisive. Pick a lane.” Lexa joked and Clarke pretend gasped, pushing Lexas head into the sofa cushion with the flick of her wrist. “You’re just jealous because I can rock a flannel and still have all options free.” Lexa scoffed. ”I’ve never seen you ’rock a flannel’” Clarke raised a brow. ”Want proof? Give me your flannel.”

Lexa moved back in her seat and shook her head. ”Come on give it to me.” Clarke said and moved on top of her when she refused, tugging the knot lose as Lexa squirmed. She could probably wrestle Clarke down in a second if she wanted too, but instead she just laughed as Clarke tugged the flannel out from under her, retrieving it with a victorious grin.

”HAH!” She grinned before tugging the flannel over her jeans overall ( it was comfy, convenient and if she was being honest she rocked the overall lock) and tugged the collars down, leaving Lexa and Raven too inspect the look.

”You look so much like a lesbian farmer that Lexa almost looks straight next to you.” Raven said after a few seconds, receiving an insulted look from Lexa. ”Almost.” Raven repeated, Clarke chuckling triumphant as Octavia joined them with popcorn and sodas. ”What did I miss?” She asked, seating and looked them over. ”Clarke is a lesbian now.” Lexa smirked. 

”Hm. Bet Finn won't be too happy about that.” Octavia chuckled, the other three silencing. ”Mhm” Clarke said, Raven sending her a pointed look. ”Just tell them.” She said and Clarke received confused looks from both Octavia and Lexa. ”Tell us what?” Octavia asked. 

Clarke shot Raven an irritated look for putting her in this position. ”Finn and I broke up.” She confessed, Octavias chin falling to the floor and Lexa frowning. ”You broke up with him? Why?” She asked , Clarke hesitating. ”Technically he broke up with me, but it’s what i wanted.. and it’s what’s best.” She said, sipping her Coke to avoid eye contact. ”But why did he break it off?” Octavia asked, probing as always. 

”I told him I didn’t want to marry him. He said he couldn’t wait forever.. I said he shouldn’t.” She sighed, glancing at the two, quizzing looks on both their faces. “Look I just.. I known for a while now Finn wasn’t the one for me. So this breakup was a good thing, I’m just.. sorry he got hurt. But I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” She said, Octavia opening her mouth to ask a question but Raven covered her mouth with her hand. “She said she didn’t want to talk about it. Now come on, let’s watch a gay movie and revel in the fact that we’re all hot singles now.” She smirked, Lexa putting on ‘imagine me & you’.

“Love at first sight is such a silly concept.. but I’ll buy it for the sake of this movie, it’s hella sweet.” Raven said. “I don’t know, I think it could be real, like if it’s your soulmate and you meet for the first time and you just.. connect.” Octavia said, Raven immediately starting to tease her about it. “What about you Clarke? You believe in love at first sight and soulmates?” Lexa asked her and Clarke watched her, thinking for a second. 

“I don’t know, it’s a nice concept but.. what would that mean exactly? How can two people just randomly be connected? And what happens after they die then? I mean if reincarnation is real, and one person dies way before the other, the age difference in the next life will be huge. Like what if your soulmate is five and you're twenty five what then? And what exactly is love at first sight? Like I’ve felt a connection to someone at first sight, but I wouldn’t call it love..”

She was hit in the face with a pillow, and Raven grinned, pleased with herself when Clarke gave her a betrayed look. “You’re overthinking this way too much Griff.” Raven said and Clarke shrugged. “Well you asked, and I don’t know if I believe in it. What about you Lex?” Their gazes met and Clarke blushed. “Not really.. but maybe that’ll change if I find the right person.” Lexa said, pressing her lips together and glanced at Clarke before turning to the screen.  
________________________________

“I’m gonna get more popcorn, you guys are animals the bowl is already empty.” Clarke said after 30 or so minutes and rose. “We all know you ate like 80% of that, Griff. But nice try.” Clarke stretched her tongue out at Raven before grabbing the bowl and going into the kitchen, putting another bag in the microwave.

“Hey.” Clarke jumped, turning around to see Lexa. “You’re like a freaking panther, how do you walk so quietly?” Lexa grinned. “I’m spider woman.” She said, grabbing the salt. 

“Damn. Let me guess you use your powers to skulk on walls and find girls to kiss upside down.” Clarke smirked. “Mm no, but that sounds very fun. I’ve never kissed someone upside down though sadly.” Clarke scoffed. “Better put it on your bucket list then.” She teased, Lexa nodded. “Guess so. What’s on your bucket list?” She asked curious and Clarke shrugged. “Go to like a hundred places, see this and that, do this and that.” She said vaguely and Lexa raised a brow. “Well why haven’t you? Now is the perfect time isn’t it?” Clarke glanced through the doorway and at Raven. “Need to take care of Raven, so no not really.” 

“Well there’s gotta be something on that list that you can do here in town, so it’ll only be a few hours.” Clarke glanced at her. “Why are you so interested in my bucket list all of a sudden? Want to know if I have an upside down kiss on it as well?” She smirked and Lexa raised a brow. She leaned in close, Clarke blinking surprised, Lexa smirking when she stretched an arm out and opened the microwave door.

“There we go. They’re ready.” Clarke exhaled, wondering if Lexa had done that on purpose to tease her or if she was oblivious to what Clarke thought was going to happen. Probably the second theory.

“Great.” Clarke nodded. Lexa poured the popcorn into the bowl and salted before eating one. “Yummy.” She said before carrying it back to the table. Clarke watched her before following, seating next to her again with a blush. “You missed the angsty hill scene.” Raven complained. “It’s okay, I pretty much know it by heart.” Lexa confessed. “Don’t judge. There’s not a lot of good lesbian movies out there okay?” 

“I’ll spare you the mockery if I get to hold the popcorn bowl.” Raven said and Lexa handed her the bowl, Raven immediately taking some popcorns and tossed them at Lexa with a smirk. “Sappy gay.” Lexa raised a brow. “You’re gonna regret that.” She said, grabbing some popcorn from the bowl herself and poured them into Ravens shirt who gasped, Clarke laughing. “Like that huh?” Lexa asked, tossing some at her but Clarke caught two and ate them. “Thanks.” She smirked.


	10. Chapter 10.

After a few more movies Octavia went home to sleep, and Lexa went to help Raven get ready for bed. Clarke took the opportunity to clean up after their movie night, popcorn everywhere, glasses spread over the table and floor, pizza boxes on the floor. Lexa came out from Ravens bedroom and looked at her. “I could have done that, or.. helped at least.” She said when she said how clean it was and Clarke shrugged.

“You know you don’t have to do everything yourself Clarke.” Lexa said and approached her, Clarke smiling. “It’s just cleaning. I finished it in ten minutes don’t worry.” She seated in the couch, Lexa seating next to her. “Are you okay?” she asked Clarke who raised a brow. “I’m not the one who got hit by a car.” She said and Lexa shook her head. “No, but you did just end a long relationship. Do you wanna talk about it?”

Clarke hesitated, looking down at her hands. “I just.. I broke his heart, and there’s nothing I can do to fix it. Finn isn’t perfect but I don’t want him to be in pain.. but he is, because of me.” She glanced up at Lexa, studying the puzzled look on her face. “I guess I don’t understand what happened. You two seemed happy just a week ago.. you said you loved him.” 

Clarke bit her lip, nodding. “I did. I do. I mean, in some way.. I just.. I fell out of love with him a while ago, I just told myself I hadn’t. And even though I don’t love him like that, he still mean something to me. I mean we were together for a pretty long time so of course I still care about him a bit and I know he’s hurting.. but it’s for the best that we broke up. It’s not fair to him that I use him just because I needed something to hold on to.”

Lexa took her hand and squeezed it. “I know you didn’t hurt him on purpose, Clarke. And you’re going through a lot, it’s understandable that you wanted something to remain the same. At least now he knows, and he can move on. You both can.” Clarke nodded, letting out a sigh and leaned against Lexas shoulder. “Thank you.” She didn’t really feel a lot better, but it was nice knowing there was one person who understood, and that she was there for her even though she didn’t really feel like she deserved it.

She loved Raven and Octavia, but they were both very much live in the moment don’t fixate on the past type of people, but it had never been that easy for Clarke. It was nice that Lexa was more like her in that way. She felt her hand in her hair, soft fingers running through it and Clarke smiled, closing her eyes and she let herself relax more, without realizing it starting to doze off. 

____________________________________________________

When she woke up, it was to the smell of bacon. She opened her eyes and looked up from the couch. Through the opened kitchen door she could see Lexa from the back, standing by the stove. Clarke moved the blanket off her (Lexa must have placed it over her when she was asleep) and went to wash her face before joining Lexa in the kitchen. 

“Hey, what are you still doing here?” Clarke asked, joining her by the stove. “You seemed like you were in the need of a good rest. I didn’t have anything I needed to do at home, so I stayed, so I could help Raven if she needed anything. That way you could sleep through the night.”

Clarkes looked at her surprised, her eyes filled with sudden grateful tears, but she quickly blinked them away before Lexa could see them. “That’s.. so nice. You really didn’t have to do that.” Lexa smiled at her. “It wasn’t a problem Clarke. Did you sleep well?” Clarke nodded, glancing at the stove where bacon and scrambled eggs where just about ready. “What about you? Did you get any sleep?” Lexa nodded. “Yeah, Raven didn’t really need any help, she slept through the night too, so I fell asleep on the other couch.” 

Clarke nodded, glancing her over. “Need any help with the food?” she asked, resisting to steal bacon from the pan. “Mm no but maybe get Raven up?” Clarke nodded and walked into Ravens room, Raven already awake, rubbing her eyes. “I hope you left some bacon for me.” She said, the smell lingering even in here. “Mm nope but we have some beans left for ya.” Clarke teased. “We?” Raven asked.

The doctor still didn’t quite know how serious Ravens condition was, for now she couldn’t walk at all, but they said that with time and physical therapy she’d be able to move with crutches, and that maybe one day she wouldn't even need those.

“Lexa spent the night.” Clarke answered. “Really?” Raven smirked and Clarke chuckled. “On the other couch dumbass. She just wanted to be helpful.” Clarke rolled up the wheelchair and Raven sighed. She grabbed the handles of the chair, Clarke lifting her up by her hips, hooking an arm under her knees, lifting her into the chair and adjusted her legs carefully. She got behind the chair to roll it but Raven got to work herself, spinning the wheels with her hands and soon came out to the kitchen, Lexa just finishing to set the table. “Coffee?” She asked, met with two eager nods.

“I’ll get it.” Clarke said and grabbed three cups, filling them all, Ravens with cream, her own with sugar and Lexas black. She placed them at the table as Lexa put the food on the table, and they dug in and started eating. “You know if you make this type of breakfast every morning you can come live with me.. I have a big bed.” Raven smirked and Lexa winked at her. “Mm not sure what Anya would say to that.. have you talked to her anything by the way?” 

Raven shook her head, her eyes never leaving the food. “She won’t want to date me now.” Clarke squeezed her arm. “Don’t be silly, of course she will.” Clarke said with a small frown. “Why don’t I ask her to come over tonight? We can have a movie night or something, a low pressure situation?” She suggested, Raven hesitated. “That sounds smart.” Lexa pitched in, sipping her coffee. “I’ll come too if you want.” Raven nodded. “Yeah, thanks.”

______________________________________

After breakfast Lexa had to leave for work, and Clarke and Raven sat in the couch, watching some reruns and they started talking about lunch options after a few hours. “Not sushi, please. So it’s between Thai food and Pizza.. you decide Raven.” Clarke said, waiting for Ravens decision.

“So.. is tonight a double date?” Raven asked out of the blue, ignoring the subject of lunch, Clarke frowning with confusion. “Huh? What are you talking about?” She asked, lowering the volume of the tv. “Well Lexa invited herself when we talked about Anya.. she knows we’re kind of.. dating or whatever. Did she mean for tonight to be a double date, you think?”

“No. No! I doubt that.. I mean she hasn’t even shown any signs of being into me.” Raven scoffed. “Wow you’re blind.” she chuckled. “What?” Clarke asked confused and Raven smirked and shot her and amused glance.“She is into you, trust me. And you can’t tell me there’s nothing there between you.”

Clarke hesitated, knowing she would probably come to regret this, but.. “maybe you’re not like.. completely wrong. Truth is, we kind of had a thing a few days ago.” Raven looked at her, interest peaked. “What kind of moment?” She asked and Clarke blushed. “We almost kissed. Or, I almost kissed her.. but she didn’t move away.” Ravens eyes widened. “What?! When was this, last night? Tell me everything!” She said, turning to face her more. “No, it was when you had just been admitted to the hospital. It was before I broke up with Finn.. we slept in the same bed at Octavias so no one would have to take her stiff couch, I woke up upset, Lexa comforted me.. and all of a sudden my lips where moving for hers, I mean I moved away last second, but..” 

“But what?” Raven asked, Clarke hesitated. “I don’t know.. just.. I guess a part of me didn’t want to.. move away?” Raven grinned, but Clarke sighed, groaning. “Shit.” She leaned her head back into the cuishen and pinched the bridge of her nose. “So you do like her. So if tonight is a double date.. wouldn’t that be a good thing?” Raven asked and Clarke shook her head. “Yes.. no. I don’t know. I just ended a relationship days ago.. I’m not ready to get into another serious relationship. And I don’t even know what I feel, it’s probably just attraction..” 

“Well don’t you want to know? I’m not saying marry her, just.. maybe you should ask her out?” Clarke hesitated, opening and closing her mouth, not knowing what to say. “Just think about it, you don’t have to decide right now. But I’ve decided, I want chicken satay for lunch.”

____________________________________________________________________________

That evening after Clarke and Raven got ready they walked out to her backyard and Clarke fired up the grill when she got a text from Lexa. “They’re here.” She said and Raven quickly took off to go greet them by the front porch. Clarke focused on the grill, flipping the steaks and the vegetables, her stomach churning from the smell. 

“Smells good.” Lexa said right behind her and Clarke jumped before turning around. “See? There you go, all stealthy panther again.” She said but gave her a quick hug. “I’m sorry I’ll try to use elephant steps in the future.” Lexa teased and Clarke rolled her eyes but chuckled. “So what are we cooking? I didn’t know you could grill.” 

“‘Course I can. My dad taught me when I was like seven, in full disclosure I think he just wanted someone else to take over sunday night grilling.” She joked and Lexa smiled. “Anything I can do, chef?” Lexa asked, Clarke glancing over at Anya and Raven talking as they made their way over slowly. “Why don’t you check on the potatoes in the oven? They’re supposed to be crispy, but not you know.. burned to a crisp. Big responsibility, think you can handle it?” She smirked and Lexa smiled. “I guess we’ll find out.” She said and walked into the house, Anya and Raven making their way over. “Hey Clarke.” Anya said with a nod. “Hey.. how are you?” She asked and Anya shrugged. “Good. Even better now.” She winked at Raven.

“I bet.” Clarke smiled. “Why don’t you two take a seat? The food will be ready in just a few minutes.” She said and checked on the food before walking inside, grabbing plates and utensils. “How’s it going there sou chef?” she asked Lexa who was taking out the potatoes. “Well I handled my incredibly big task well.” She said and Clarke chuckled, and they carried everything out. Soon they all seated and started eating, Raven and Anya in deep conversation about a video game Clarke hadn’t played and she glanced at Lexa. “How was work?” She asked and Lexa nodded, putting down her fork.

“It was good, pretty standard.” She shrugged. “What is it you do exactly?” Raven asked, overhearing the two. “I own a company. We have different departments so we do more than one thing, but our main focus is eco friendly electricity.. another is investing money, partly to help, like with the hospital wing, but also to make money back, and get shareholding in other companies, and get a say in it. I make sure only to invest in things I feel deserve it though. Companies that are environmentally friendly, or donate some profit to charity or is doing good work some other way..”

Clarke and Raven shared a look. “Wow.. that’s impressive.” Clarke said but Lexa just shrugged. “Let’s just say I had a lot of help getting started.” She said, Anya leaning back and smiled. “Lexa doesn’t like to brag, and doesn’t take enough credit. It’s why she turns down all the magazines begging for an interview and to put Lexa on their cover for the month.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t say begging.. and it’s just a few magazines that’s asked you’re making it sound bigger than it is.” She looked down as she ate and Anya mouthed ‘many’, Raven chuckling. “Certainly a hotshot.” She said and Clarke nodded. “What about you Anya? The only thing I actually know about you is that you’re Lexas cousin.” Anya nodded, sipping her wine. “I travel a lot, go all over the world. Take small jobs here and there to make ends meet.. Lexa offered to pay for me but I’d rather pull my own weight.” 

Raven shot Clarke a look and Clarke knew exactly what she was thinking. “So is all the Woods ridiculously hot and impressive?” Raven asked shamelessly and Clarke widened her eyes, seeing a blush creep up on Lexas cheeks. “So uh..” Clarke said trying to find of a change of topic. “Did I tell you Bell and Murphy is coming back to town?” She asked Raven who looked up at her surprised. “Shut your mouth! For real? Thought they were never coming back home.”

“Who’s Bel and Murphy?” Lexa asked curiously. “Bellamy and Murphy, really. They’re our friends, they got married like six months ago and they’ve been on a really long honeymoon in the philippines and hawaii. You’ll love them, I’m sure.” Clarke smiled reassuringly and Lexa nodded.

“When did they say they were returning?” Raven asked and Clarke checked their last text conversation. “They said they’d try to get a flight so they’re here next week.. Not sure what day.” Raven grinned, nodding excited. “I’ve missed those dorks.” She said and Clarke smiled. “Me too. And I’m sure Bellamy would be up for some hiking if you two want a new partner since I’m. Never. Doing it again.” Lexa chuckled, their feet grazing under the table but Lexa quickly moved hers back. “Well they sound great.” 

________________________________________

After dinner they all helped clean up, and got ready to leave. “Are you sure you don’t want me to wait until Octavia gets here?” Clarke asked and Raven rolled her eyes. “I can take care of myself for ten minutes Clarke.” She said, watching Lexa and Anya walk outside. They were gonna drive Clarke home to her mom and Octavia was going to spend the night taking care of Raven. Clarke nodded and gave her a bears hug before getting out of the door, giving her an air kiss before closing it behind her and got into the backseat of Lexas car. 

“Tired?” Lexa asked as she drove off. “No,” Clarke said but that moment letting out a big yawn, Lexa and Anya chuckling. “Mhm..” Lexa smirked, their gaze meeting in the rearview mirror. Clarke blushed, smiling. “Maybe a little..” she admitted. 

They arrived at Abbys home quickly and Clarke unbuckled her seatbelt as the car came to a stop, hesitating. “Walk me to my door Lexa?” She blurted out and Lexa looked at her a bit surprised but nodded, turning off the engine and got out as well, and they walked side by side to the door. 

“Thank you for tonight.” Lexa said politely and Clarke nodded. “Well, my pleasure.. and thank you for the ride..” They turned to face each other when they reached the door, Clarke opening her mouth, closing it again and swallowed. “I should..” Lexa started, Clarke interrupting her. “Actually..” She said and Lexa quieted and nodded for her to continue. 

“Do you wanna go on a date with me?” Clarke asked, her nerves on fire, already thinking about all the reasons this was a bad idea. It took a moment for the words to sink in with Lexa, her face showing only confusion, then something Clarke couldn’t quite read (was it hope?). “Like.. a romantic date?” She asked, pressing her lips together as she waited for Clarkes reply. “Yeah, yes. Um yeah, but if you don’t want to you totally don’t have t-” “yes.” Lexa answered quickly and Clarke grinned. “Yeah?”

Lexa nodded and Clarke smiled, nodding too. “Great. Um.. I’ll.. text you the.. details tomorrow?” Lexa nodded again, not saying anything and Clarke smiled. “Great. Well.. goodnight.” She leaned closer and kissed her cheek before quickly walking inside, closing the door and immediately looked out the keyhole. Lexa stood there for a few moments, almost looking dazed before slowly walking back to the car and it soon drove off.

Thousands of thoughts filled Clarke, like how many times she had said ‘great’ and ‘yeah’ and how this was probably a really bad idea.. but also happiness, so much she almost felt like skipping up and down like a little girl. She was going on a date. With Lexa.


	11. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty short, wanted to tie up some lose strings, but hope you'll like it anyways!

When Clarke woke up next morning, her first thought was of Lexa. But when she grabbed her phone and saw the date she bit her lip. Today it was exactly a week since her breakup with Finn. She had asked someone out in less than a week since she ended a relationship that had lasted almost two years. And not just anybody, but Lexa.

They were friends, what if this jeopardized that? Clarke was already a big mess, adding a bad break up to that didn’t exactly scream ready to date.. she still had boxes at Finn's place for gods sake. But it was LEXA. And now that Raven had helped open her eyes to the fact that there were feelings there, she couldn’t help herself. But still, the best would probably be to call and cancel.

She sighed, forcing all thoughts out of her head and got up. She’d get everything out of Finns place today, he was going to be away and he had hidden a key in the lawn. Then she could put that chapter of her life behind her. Then she’d go visit Raven. And until those two tasks were done, she wouldn’t think about Lexa, or the situation she was in. She knew she was fooling herself, but at least she’d do her best to keep her thoughts at bay.

When she got down she prepared breakfast for her and her mom, Abby coming down soon after and they seated to eat. “Are you gonna work late tonight?” Clarke asked and she nodded. “I hope you don’t mind..” She said and Clarke shook her head. “Of course not mom.” Abby smiled and squeezed her hand. “What are your plans for the day honey?” She asked, letting go to sip her coffee. “I’m getting my last things from Finn..” Abby shot her a sympathetic look. “And then going over to Ravens.” She said and Abby nodded. “How is she doing? Should I pop by?” She asked and Clarke shrugged. “I’m sure she’d love to see you, yeah. She’s doing better than I expected tho.”

Abby nodded, sipping her coffee. “That’s good. She has a doctor appointment in a few days, and after that her physical therapy is starting. You should make sure you have everything in your calendar in case Raven forgets or you know.. ignores it.” Clarke sighed and Abby looked up at her. “You don’t have to..” She said and Clarke rolled her eyes. “It’s not that. When is the committee going to make up their damn minds? I want to go back to work, or start working on what to do if they fire me..” Abby tilted her head and looked at her with pity in her eyes. “Clarke you know how this works. They said they’d make up their minds and let you know in 2 - 8 weeks, it’s only been 4.” 

Clarke nodded, her leg moving restlessly. “We both know they just need a few hours to make the decision though, they’re just putting it off because they can. Is there nothing you can do to get them to hurry up?” Abby shook her head. “You know there’s not honey. Be patient, at most there’s just one more month.” Clarke nodded. “Yeah.. anyways I should get going.” She got up without another word, grabbing her bag and drove over to Finn’s.

Getting the key from under the doormat (dumbest hiding place in the world by the way, but okay) was easy, and when she got inside she saw Finn had already packed everything up for her, but she did a quick round to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. After a breakup like this it wasn’t like they were going to stay friends, and Clarke wanted to make a clean as possible cut, so there’d be no reason for any future contact. It was harsh, but best for the both of them.

She went through the bathroom then the kitchen, a few memories washing over her and she bit her lip. She walked through the hallway, remembering her packing a bag in a hurry. In a way it was crazy how such a big part of her life had disappeared in just ten minutes. She walked into the living room, stroking the back of the couch, Finns heartbroken face echoing in her head. She inhaled a deep breath, opening the door to the bedroom. She looked through the closet, but just as everywhere else, Finn had been thorough. 

She approached the bed, spotting something in the trash bin they had in the bedroom. It was a photo of her and Finn, a framed one he used to have on his night stand. She lifted it up and looked at it for a while, studying it. Finn had a lot of flaws, but she really never meant to hurt him. Still she had to admit that ever since the breakup she felt like a knot had disappeared from her stomach. Maybe instead of keeping her floating, Finn had actually been dragging her down.

She realized the glass was broken, and wondered if Finn had thrown it in anger. She put it back in the trash bag and got out of their old bedroom. She felt ready to put this part of her life behind her, and not look back.

She packed everything into the car and drove it over to Raven who had insisted on a cleanse, that they were going to go through Clarkes stuff and throw away things she didn’t need or want anymore, so that’s what they were gonna do. She got out of the car outside of Ravens place, smoking a quick cigarette before walking inside. It was noon, but Octavia was still asleep (and waking her up could end up in getting bitten, literally) so Clarke and Raven started without her, sitting in the couch and went through all the boxes, and Clarke filled her in on yesterday after they had left, Raven squealing. “That’s awesome!” 

Clarke nodded, Raven shooting her a look when she sensed her hesitation. “Clarke. Don’t get in your head about this. You want to, she wants to.. it’s easy.” Clarke sighed. “I don’t know if I’m ready for a new relationship so soon.. I just broke up with Finn.. I mean it’s not like I still have feelings for him but still.. plus we’re friends, what if it doesn’t work out and things get awkward?”

Raven raised a brow. “Well if you cancel the date things will definitely be awkward.” Clarke shot her a look and Raven chuckled. “Okay look, it’s not like one date equals a serious relationship. Just.. go into it with an open mind, like a real date, and just feel if there’s really something there. If there’s not no one says there has to be a second date. And if there is.. then talk to Lexa. I’m sure she would be cool with taking things slow, she knows everything you’ve been through.”

Clarke nodded and closed her eyes, leaning her head against the couch cushions. “Okay, yeah that makes sense. But.. I haven’t been to a first date in years. What do you do on a first date? Dinner and a movie is pretty standard right?”

“Yeah, but no that won't do. Your and Lexas first date should be special. Not trying too hard, but still a more unique experience. Romantic but no pressure. But it has to be clear it’s a proper date so no like going to the beach or some shit like that. And something where you can dress up a little, you need to look bomb. And you should probably pick her up in your car, so somewhere you can drive too, nothing too far away so there’s no awkward car ride..”

Clarke groaned. “What happened to no pressure? I have no ideas.” She opened her eyes, biting her lip. “A musical?” Raven suggested and Clarke shook her head, thinking. “Actually.. I just thought of something.” She said with a small smile. “It’s nothing too special but I think she’ll like it.” Raven raised a brow. “Gonna tell me or keep me in suspense here?”

_________________________

Octavia woke up soon after that and they finished the work with Clarkes stuff (The two brunettes had tried to make Clarke get rid of some clothes just because they didn’t like them but that wasn’t going to happen) And Clarke went and took care of it all, leaving the remaining stuff at her mom's place and then came back to Ravens place with lunch for all of them.

_ ‘ Does friday work for you _ _?_ ’ Clarke texted Lexa later that night when she had gotten back home, getting a quick reply. 

_ ‘Friday works great. What are we doing? ’ _

_ ‘It’s a secret.’ _

_ ‘That’s not fair I want to know. How else will I know what to bring and how to dress?’ _

_ Clarke smiled as she red Lexas reply . ‘Bring nothing but yourself.. I’ll pick you up at seven. And anything you’ll wear will be perfect.’ _

_ ‘You’re impossible..’ _

Clarke sent back a winking emoji and put away her phone, getting ready for bed with a smile on her face. Friday was the day after tomorrow, she wanted to set it early so they wouldn’t have a chance to meet before that, Clarkes nerves probably couldn’t have handled them hanging out casually right now. She was excited but really nervous for the date, but deep down she had a good feeling about it. 


	12. 12.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> date night !!! 
> 
> so the date turned out pretty long and i'm not even finished writing it so i split it into two parts, so..
> 
> date night part 1 heh

When friday evening came, Clarke got ready nervously, receiving about a hundred texts a minute from Raven about what she was going to wear and what she thought would happen. She had dressed in a white sundress, casual but beautiful, and had paired it with low heels, trying ten different ways to put her hair up before deciding to just let it fall freely. Some light make up later and she was done. 

She took a deep breath, looking herself over one last time before walking out to her car, soon pulling up at Lexas house. She went and knocked on the door and Lexa opened it after the first knock, Clarke looking her over and smiled. “You look amazing.” She said, taking in her black pants and matching blazer, a light blue shirt underneath.

“You too.” Lexa said after a moment of taking her dress in and they looked up, meeting each other's gaze. “You ready?” Clarke asked, taking a step away towards the car and Lexa nodded and followed, Clarke holding up the car door for her and Lexa looked at her surprised before getting in and Clarke closed it before getting in the driver seat. 

“So now will you tell me where we’re going?” Lexa asked. “To a restaurant.” Clarke said casually. “What restaurant?” Lexa asked and Clarke chuckled. “You’ll see when we get there.. here I thought you were the patient one.” Lexa smiled, watching her. “Usually you’d be right.” she said and leaned her elbow on the arm stand, Clarke lowering the radio.

They shared a few looks, smiling, and Clarke noticed Lexa kept closing and opening her mouth. “Anything you wanna say?” She raised a brow. “No.. mm.. I guess I’m just surprised?” Clarke glanced at her. “At what?” 

“That you asked me on a date?” Clarke smiled. “Oh.. That’s understandable. But.. happily surprised?” She asked and Lexa nodded. “All good then.” Clarke said and Lexa chuckled, leaning back in her seat more. 

The drive was short, only ten minutes, and Clarke parked by a small parking lot over an empty beach. “We’re gonna bathe?” Lexa raised a brow. “I didn’t bring a bikini.” Clarke chuckled as they both got out. “I told you, we’re going to a restaurant. It’s a short walk from the beach, it’s on the shore. Come on.” 

She lead her down to the water and into the path going left, between some stray trees where a forest started to build up. “It’s not far, just a few minutes.” She ensured and Lexa nodded, catching up with her. Their hands swung by their sides, and Clarke hesitantly reached for hers and moved it into her own, lacing their fingers together and Lexa shot her a glance and smiled. “So how did you find this place if it’s so secluded? Is it like.. your go to date place?” She asked and Clarke chuckled.

“No, the owner is an old friend of my dad, is all. I’ve only been here with my parents, actually.” Lexa nodded. “What does your dad do? Is he a doctor too?” Clarke glanced at her, confused for a moment before realizing she hadn’t actually told Lexa about her dad. “He was.. an engineer.” She said, glancing at Lexa who frowned. “I’m sorry I didn’t..” Clarke shook her head. “It’s fine, Lexa.” She shot her an encouraging smile. “We’re here.” 

She nodded at a restaurant, placed at a rocky cliff. It was one floor, made with dark oak and big windows, lanterns hanging from the wall or fence in different places, a modest light coming from the inside. “Wow” Lexa said and took it in for a moment. “Pretty much my opinion too.” Clarke smiled and tugged her inside, where a few handful tables and booths were places sporadically around the place, more lanterns and old time lamps lighting up the blace, the atmosphere cozy, a quiet radio playing some violin. Only three tables were taken, and a waiter approached them immediately and led them to a booth.

“I can’t believe this place isn’t more popular.” Lexa said as the waiter left menus and left to give them some time to look them through. “I think that’s why it’s placed out here, they don’t want a big crowd about it. Not sure if it’s very fruitful but the owner has several restaurants, so..” She shrugged.

She picked up the menu and browsed through it. “Any special cravings?” She asked Lexa who smirked for a second but soon faded it out, glancing through the menu. “The salmon, maybe?” She said and went to the wine list. “If you take that, can I taste? I’m trying to decide between that and the Pasta Primavera.” Lexa smiled and looked up at her. “You can eat as much as you want.” She said with a smile and Clarke nodded. “That’s what she said.” They shared a look and Lexa chuckled. “Mm well that too.” She teased.

They ordered the food and a bottle of wine, Clarke watching as the waiter walked away with the menus. “What about your parents?” Clarke asked, continuing the subject from before about her dad and Lexa hesitated. “Uhm..” She swallowed. “My aunt raised me from age 16, when my dad walked out on me. She’s tough, but fair. She helped me become who I am today. I pretty much owe her everything.”

Clarke smiled. “She sounds cool.” She nodded, deciding not to probe further, Lexa would probably tell her more when and if she felt comfortable with it. The waitress came over, putting down two glasses of water and opened a bottle of wine, putting down two glasses for that too. “Want to try it first?” She asked and Lexa nodded, the waitress pouring a little bit of wine into her glass and Lexa tasted it. “It’s good.. want to try it too Clarke?” She asked but Clarke shook her head. “I trust you.” She said and the waitress filled their glasses and left the bottle, walking off and Clarke took a sip.

“Yeah it’s nice.” She nodded, taking another sip, her foot moving forward and grazed Lexas who smiled. “So why me?” Lexa asked. “Why take me to this place if it’s just been a place you’ve gone with your family?”

“Um.. I don’t know. Guess I wanted to take you somewhere special.. And I knew you’d love this place. It’s very much your style.” She said, shooting her a look. “What’s my style then, exactly?” Lexa raised a brow. “I don’t know.. simple but beautiful?” She said, Lexa looking at her thoughtfully and she felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. “Anyways.. how was work?” Clarke asked a little awkwardly, wanting to change topics. “Work was.. work.” Lexa said , chuckling when she received a look from Clarke. “Be vauger.” Clarke said ironically. 

“A lot of paperwork, and overlooking transactions and interviews..” Clarke raised a brow. “Interviews? You do staff interviews yourself?” She asked surprised and Lexa raised a brow. “Normally no, but I’m looking for a new assistant so now I am.” Clarke nodded. “What happened to the last one?” She asked and Lexa shrugged. “He was having a kid so he quit to be a stay at home dad.. he’ll be on for two more weeks but that’s not a lot of time to find and train a replacement.” 

Clarke nodded. “Well I’m sure you’ll find someone perfect for the position.” She smiled encouraging. “Have you approached unemployment offices? They might have a list of people good for the position.” She suggested and Lexa nodded. “I’ll do that, thank you.” She smiled and Clarke tilted her head to look at her. “What about your work? Any news?” Lexa asked and Clarke shook her head with a sigh. “They’ll be sitting on their asses until last day, I’m sure.” 

“But you want your old job back?” Lexa asked. “Of course.. I mean it’s all I know. And I love my job.” Lexa nodded. “There’s always other hospitals right?” she asked and Clarke nodded. “Yeah.. my record will definitely have a blemish from this though.. and not every hospital have an open spot for trauma surgeons, especially not..” She sighed and bit her lip.

“What is it?” Lexa asked. “I just feel shitty, complaining about my future when that guy doesn’t have one because of me.” She shrugged, looking down in her wine. “You’re allowed to be unhappy with your work situation, Clarke. At the end of the day you just made a mistake. It doesn’t make your future or pain invalid.” 

Clarke looked up at her and smiled. “I guess that’s a way to look at it..” She cleared her throat. “Anyways.. we should probably talk about something lighter for our first date. Isn’t this more like, fourth date material?” She joked. “As long as that means there will be a fourth date.” Lexa said and Clarke blushed. “I’m kidding Clarke, don’t feel any pressure..” Clarke shook her head. “I think.. I’d like that.” She said hesitant, just as the food arrived and placed in front of them. 

Clarkes mouth watered when the scent reached her and she looked down on the food hungrily. “Wow this looks good.” Lexa said and took a bite of her salmon, Clarke spinning some spaghetti on her fork and took her bite with a quiet moan. “Here.” Lexa held out a piece of salmon on her fork and Clarke leaned forward and ate it, chewing slowly. “Wow. Try mine now.” She said after swallowing and held out a forkful of pasta and Lexa tried it. “That’s amazing.” 

They focused on the food for a few minutes, holding out a bite here and there for each other. When Clarke had finished her pasta (a little faster than planned) she leaned back to watch Lexa finish her salmon. “Want the last piece?” Lexa offered but Clarke shook her head. “Thanks, but I’m good.” Lexa nodded, taking the last bite and a sip of wine. 

“I’m liking this restaurant more and more.” Lexa said and smiled, their feet grazing each others casually. “You should try their chocolate fudge cake.. want to split one?” Lexa pursed her lips. “I’d love to, but if their desserts is as good as their food I might not settle for half.” 

Clarke chuckled. “Well what if we split it, and then we could buy some store bought cake on our way back and go home to my place and watch a movie?” She suggested and Lexa smiled surprised, answering after some thought. “And with split it you mean 70% 30% ?” She teased. “Definitely. 70% for me, 30% for you.” Clarke replied and Lexa chuckled. “I can live with that. That sounds like a great idea.” 

Clarke grinned and glanced at the waitress who were heading their way. “How did everything taste?” She asked. “Amazing.” Clarke answered. “Could we get the fudge chocolate cake, one piece two spoons?” She asked and the waitress nodded. “Coming right up.” She smiled, picking up the dishes and headed away again.

Clarke turned back to Lexa and saw that she was watching her with a smile.”What do you usually do on first dates? Got any tacticts?” Clarke asked teasingly, leaning her chin on her hand. “If I did why would I reveal them?” Lexa smirked and Clarke chuckled. “Please you don’t need any anyways. Have you seen yourself?” Lexa smiled. “I could say the same thing.. and no I don’t really have any.. do you?” 

Clarke shook her head. “Mm no not really.” she said and leaned back, removing her elbows from the table when their cake came. “Come on try this, you’ll love it.” She grabbed a spoon of it and held it out for her, Lexa eating it of the spoon and let out a small moan. “Oh my god!” Lexa said after swallowing, taking another bite. “You did not undersell this cake” She chuckled, Clarke smiling and took a bite as well. “Oh I know”

She took a sip of her water and nodded. “Guess who has the recipe.” She smirked. “I’d ask for it but I’m not much of a baker.” 

“Maybe I’ll bake one for you.” Clarke smiled. “Mm I wouldn’t have a problem with that” Lexa grinned, leaning back. “Good.” Clarke grinned. She scooted the cake plate over to Lexa. “You have the last of it, since it’s your first one.” She said and glanced around, seeing the waitress and waved to her with a smile and she came over. “Anything else I can get for you?” Ske asked. “Just the check, thank you.” Clarke said and she nodded and Clarke glanced back at Lexa again. “Ready to get going?” She asked and Lexa nodded, getting her wallet out. “Nuh uh. I asked you on a date so I pay. Those are the rules.” She said and got her card out.

“Fine, I surrender.” Lexa chuckled. The waitress returned with a small machine and Clarke punched in the amount and tips and payed with her card, thanking her for her service and after she left she glanced at Lexa. “All done then.” She said and got up, grabbing her purse and moved the strap over her shoulder. Lexa got up too and nodded, opening the door on their way out.


	13. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry I've been A-woll for like.. two months ( yikes ) i kind of lost inspiration to write a bit and then I just got stressed over writing so that kind of turned into a circle lmao, but I'ma start posting again :) Like I said before I fully intent on writing this to the end and not stop midway there. Idk if anyone now remembers this fic or even care hehe but wanted to let you know in case anyone does?
> 
> I deleted my last chapter, the date night part two, it was short and poorly written so i rewrote it a little and added on it. I'm gonna start posting every other week I think instead of every week like i did in the start. 
> 
> If anyone is reading this how have you been? 2020 has been a rough fucking year but I hope everyone is alright <3

They walked out and Clarke glanced at Lexa, walking besides her towards the car. “You can really see the stars here huh.” Lexa said, looking up into the sky. “Yeah” Clarke nodded. “Sometimes I want to move out and live in the country.. get views like this every night, if not clearer.” Lexa nodded, looking down from the sky to her and smiled. “Yeah, that’d be nice huh?” She said and Clarke smiled back. “Mm.” She unlocked the car and opened the door for Lexa who chuckled and slid in before Clarke got in the driver seat and drove off. 

“Soo I know I said my place but since I live with my mom for the moment, why don’t we make it your place?” Lexa nodded and glanced at her. “How’s that going? Living with your mom?” Clarke shrugged. “It’s nice.. she can be kind of intense though, I guess. Just.. mom stuff.” Lexa nodded and glanced at her.

“You could come live with me if you want.” Clarke sent her a look of caution and Lexa chuckled. “I didn’t mean like that, just.. I have a spare room.. you could move in if you want.” She shrugged. “Just like friendly roommates.. who happen to be dating.” 

Clarke chuckled. “Thanks for the offer but.. I’m actually kind of looking forward to getting my own place, since I’ve never actually lived alone.” Lexa nodded and Clarke glanced at her. “But it’s really sweet that you offered.” 

“Have you contacted a realtor yet? Someone who can show you some options?” Lexa asked, playing with her sleeve as she glanced at Clarke then back at the road. “Sure, I’m meeting her in a few days. Might take a while until I find something that I’m really satisfied with tho, you know?” Lexa nodded and smiled. “Are you looking for an apartment or house?” Clarke shrugged. “Preferably a bungalow but I guess we’ll see right?” She said, pulling up to a grocery store and parked. “Let’s go.” 

She grabbed a cart and they made their way through the store, Clarke grabbing a bit of everything. “Anything you’re craving?” She asked, tossing a bag of chips Lexas way for her to put in the cart. “I’m pretty sure anything I could possibly crave is already in the cart.” Lexa teased, dropping the bag in there. They got to the register to pay and were soon back in the car heading to Lexas place.

Clarke turned on the radio, glancing at Lexa throughout the ride, Lexa glancing back and smiling, none of them feeling the urge to end the comfortable silence. 

When they got to her place they got to the kitchen, Lexa taking off her blazer as Clarke packed up everything they had bought, a cake, some ice cream, donuts, cakes and chocolate and chips. “Shoot, we forgot drinks.” 

“I have some wines in the cabinet over there, will that do?” Clarke opened it up and looked over the different bottles. “You collect wines or something?” Clarke asked, choosing one that didn’t seem too expensive or special. “Or something.” Lexa shrugged and smiled, taking out two wine glasses. They carried everything out into the living room and placed it on the table, seating on the couch and Clarke grabbed the remote. “What do you want to watch? If you say imagine me& you again..” Lexa chuckled. “Fine fine, you choose.” Clarke grabbed the remote, flickering through the movie selection, choosing one at random and leaned back, Lexa starting to open the wine bottle.

Clarkes eyes fell on the movement, studying her hands as they moved the opener deeper into the cork, controlled movements with fingers held tight before she moved the cork up, and it seperated from the bottle with a pop. Clarke blinked and straightened up a bit, Lexa pouring them two generous glasses and handed Clarke one. She took it, their fingertips gazing and Clarke looked up at Lexa. “Thank you.”

She took a big sip before putting it down, watching Lexa who raised her own glass to her lips, and Clarke imagined the taste of her lips, wine still heavy on them, warm and inviting.. Get your shit together Griffin. She blushed when she shook her thoughts away and turned back to the screen. “Nice wine.” She said to end the silence and glanced at Lexa again, leaning her head on the couch pillow turned to Lexa and smiled. “Thanks.. what?” Lexa asked when she saw Clarkes smile and she shrugged. “Nothing.. just.. I’m having a good time.” She took another sip of her wine. “I’d have an even better time if you handed me the donut box.” She continued, pouting a tiny bit and Lexa chuckled. “Sounds doable.” Lexa reached for the box before giving it to Clarke, leaning back again and Clarke took a powdered donut. 

“I’m always kind of afraid of eating those.. feels like I’d get powder over my entire face.” Lexa said, reaching for a cookie instead. “Mm, well I have a superpower. I never get food on my face.” Clarke smirked. “See?” She took a big bite of hers then moved the donut out of her face, grazing her nose tip making it so there weren't just powder around her mouth but on her nose as well and Lexa started laughing. “Oh shut up.” Clarke reached out for her to try it and Lexa took it and ate a bite as Clarke tried to remove the powder, only getting it on her chin as well instead.

“Here, I’ll help.” Lexa moved closer and swiped away the powder on her chin and nose, the backside of her thumb stroking Clarked bottom lip free of it and Clarke looked up at her. The tip of her tongue grazed her thumb for a second through her open lips and Lexa met her gaze for a moment before clearing her throat. “Hrm.. All clean.” She moved away a little and took another sip of wine. 

“Thanks.” Clarke mumbled, glancing at the movie. The mood in the room had changed from light and happy, now the air felt heavier, both watching the movie silently. Clarke refilled her glass, knowing it wasn’t a good sign that it was empty already, and took another sip of it. “So um..” She started and Lexa turned to her, waiting attentively for her to continue.

“Tell me something.” Clarke said and Lexa frowned. “Tell you what?” She asked. “I don’t know.. anything. I feel like I’ve known you forever but I don’t actually know a whole lot about you. Like.. what’s your favorite color?”

Lexa raised a brow. “Derivative stuff.” Clarke stretched out her tongue at her. “Hey I bet your favorite color could actually say a lot about you. Tell me and I’ll google.” She said and grabbed her phone, Lexa chuckling. “Alright… it’s red.” Clarke glanced at her. “That’s like.. the color for passion right?” She asked whilst searcing, Lexa leaning back a bit more. “I have no idea.”  
“Okay here it is.. what your favorite color says about you.. hold on I just have to find red.” She scrolled through the different colors until she found it, reading out loud. “If your favorite color is red.. you have drive and determination.. I’d say that’s accurate right?” Clarke glanced up at Lexa. “I guess?” Clarke kept scrolling. “You’re assertive, impulsive..” Lexa frowned. “I don’t know if I’d say that..” Clarke continued. “You have a lot of compassion and you have- oh. It says you have a strong sex drive.” She glanced up at Lexa over the phone and saw her blushing. “Um.. It also says you’re optimistic and a natural born leader.. and it says ‘when you love, you love big’.. that’s pretty much it.” 

Lexa nodded. “So what’s your favorite color? Let me search.” She gestured for Clarkes phone and Clarke handed it over to her. “It’s blue.” Lexa nodded and scrolled to the color. “Okay, it says.. ‘you want to find inner peace, and you always make an effort to think of others and their needs, sometimes over your own.. you’re loyal, to a fault it says, empathic, warm and friendly.. I’d say that matches pretty well.”

Clarke smiled as Lexa handed the phone back. “Really? Thank you.” She smiled. “What do you want to know next? My star sign?” Lexa teased. “You joke, but the memes always fit me pretty perfectly.” Clarke said and they both chuckled. “But I’d be happy to hear anything about you.” Clarke said and Lexa squinted her eyes, trying to think of something.”I’m ambidextrous.. good at chess.. I love reading.. Clarke leaned her head against the couch and pretended to snore loudly. “Hey!” Lexa pursed her lips together. “I’m kidding.” Clarke grinned. “I’ll have to beat you at chess some day.”

“You play chess too?” Lexa asked and Clarke nodded. “Mhm.. and I'm a sore loser so I’ll have to kick your ass at it.” Lexa raised a brow. “Something tells me you’re not a very good winner either.” She smirked. “You’re wrong.” Clarke said confidently but something about it made Lexa think she wasn’t.

“Okay okay.. what about friends? You never really mention any friends of yours.” Lexa glanced at her, biting her lip. “I guess because I don’t really have a lot of them.. I mean I have, but we’re not close like you are with yours.” She shrugged. “But yeah there’s Lincoln, who owns a gym, but he lives a bit away. And Echo and Roan.. they live around here but we’re all just pretty busy i guess, so we don’t meet too often.”

Clarke nodded, tracing patterns on her knee as she listened. “That’s a shame, isn’t that boring?” She asked and Lexa shook her head. “Not really. Besides, now I have you and Raven, right?” She smiled and Clarke nodded. “Exactly.. and you can’t get rid of us.” she grinned. 

“That sounds.. ominous..” Lexa raised a brow and Clarke chuckled, shaking her head. “Shut up.” She said and nudged her shoulder. She finished her second glass wine and Lexa reached over to fill it up. “Do you want ice cream?” Clarke asked and got up. “Um, sure.” Clarke went into the kitchen and filled up two bowls of ice cream and poured on some cream and chocolate syrup, walking back and putting them down. “I’m in the mood for a horror movie, how does that sound?” She asked Lexa who nodded. “Sure thing.” 

Clarke clicked through some movies until she found an old classic, ‘i know what you did all summer’ and put it down, this time sitting down next to Lexa instead of facing her, both of them looking at the screen and Clarke took a few bites of her ice cream as the movie started. 

They watched for a little while before Clarke glanced at Lexa, her leg closing the small distance between hers and moved it against Lexas. Lexa glanced down at the movement before looking up at the screen again, but Clarke couldn’t really focus. The heat coming from Lexas side, right next to Clarkes, made her too hot to be able to relax.

She started tracing her fingers on her knee again, and moved them over to Lexas knee and up her leg a bit, causing Lexa to look up at her. Clarke smiled sheepishly, her fingers now tracing up close to Lexas thigh. Lexa glanced down at them confused, the small frown on her face looking way too adorable. 

“Lexa?” She looked up at her again and Clarke slowly leaned forward to leave a kiss on the corner of her mouth with a small smack, smiling. She moved back and hesitated for a second before slowly leaning in again, giving Lexa enough time to pull back if wanted, before she kissed her again, on the lips this time. Lexa kissed her back, and Clarke leaned into her more, Lexa kissing her back delicately, then hungrier as their lips started pressing together and Clarke opened her mouth a bit, sucking on Lexas bottom lip softly, and she felt Lexa shift next to her, moving her body on the couch more and tugged Clarke closer and she happily followed her lead, moving more on top of her. 

The kiss intensified, both melting into it more and Clarke deepened it, feeling Lexas arms wrap around her waist and she cupped Lexas face with her hands, her tongue moving across Lexas lower lip before meeting Lexas own tongue, playing with it for a few seconds before parting from the kiss.

She left a few wet smacks on Lexas lips and chin before kissing her again, their noses accidentally bumping together a little and they chuckled, Clarke tilting her head a bit and kissed her again, Lexa instantly deepening it and moved a hand into her hair, pulling her closer, the kiss intensifying again and Clarke moved a hand up Lexas leg then up her hip, her breathing getting forgotten somewhere as they continued, one of Clarkes hand starting to locate Lexas top button, easing it out of its loop, tracing her hand down to the next one when a scream pierced the room and Clarke body jumped surprised, moving back but moved too far out and she fell off the couch onto the floor.

She looked at the screen, seeing one of the female characters having woken up with her hair cut off and was still screaming like crazy, before looking up at Lexa who was watching her. “Are you okay?” She asked and Clarke nodded and she took a few deep breaths, finally getting more oxygen up to her head and she chuckled, Lexa getting up from the couch to help her up. “Maybe we should get some sleep.” Lexa suggested with a faint chuckle, seemingly a bit out of breath too.

“I guess so.” Clarke said and took the hand Lexa was offering, getting up and squeezed her hand before letting go. “Do um.. do you want to sleep in the guest bedroom or with me?” Lexa asked. “With you? if that’s okay?” Clarke said, knowing she should take the guest bedroom, but what would it matter? Lexa nodded and leaned her into the master bedroom of the house and Clarke glanced around, realizing she had never been inside before and she took in the king's bed, the large bookshelf, the cozy lights hanging from the roof and the candles spread on different available surfaces, and the reading nook Lexa had created. 

“Cozy.” She said and looked around, Lexa shrugging. “Want to borrow anything to sleep in?” She asked and opened her closet. “Just a t- shirt is fine.” Lexa handed her a t-shirt and got out a tanktop and shorts for herself. Clarke glanced at her before they turned their backs to each other, Clarke getting out of her white dress and into the large tshirt, putting the dress over a chair and she turned around, seeing Lexa move down a white tank over a calvin klein top and her bare, bronzed back before she turned around. “Do you have make up removers?” Clarke asked and Lexa nodded, leading her into her bathroom and got them out with some round pads, Clarke making quick work of getting her makeup off and tossing them as Lexa located a new toothbrush for her.

Lexa handed it to her and she squeezed some toothpaste on it from the tube right after Lexa, and they started brushing their teeth, glancing at each other through the mirror. They finished up and washed their faces before getting in bed, Lexa first and held up the cover for Clarke who crawled onto the left side of the bed under the cover. 

“Good night then..” Lexa said hesitant, wanted to move closer but uncertain, but Clarke quickly moved closer to her. “Night Lexa.” She said, moving an arm around her. Lexa watched her before relaxing against the pillow and into Clarke, melting into her touch, both sound asleep within just a minute.


	14. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa spend the day together

Clarke woke up the next morning, felt Lexa pressing against her and when she opened her eyes she saw her back tight against her and she nuzzled into her neck slightly, grinning. “Mm..” She traced a finger down her back, under her shirt and softly started scratching her back. Lexa let out a small moan, after a few seconds turning around to face Clarke, her hand quickly moving out of the way. “Hey” Lexa said with a sleepy voice, looking her over and Clarke grinned. “Hi”

“Did you sleep well?” Clarke asked and Lexa nodded. “Are you hungry?” Clarke shrugged, tracing Lexas arm casually. “Do you have any plans today?” Hopefully Lexa wouldn’t have any work since it was Saturday, so maybe they could spend the day together. 

“Not really.. do you?” Lexa asked and Clarke shook her head, adjusting her pillow. “Maybe we could do something together?” she suggested and Lexa nodded, her lips curving into a small smile. “I’d love that.” 

Clarke grinned. “Good.. anything special you want to do?” She asked as Lexa seated more properly, stretching her arms a little.”I’m open to anything, you?” Clarke thought for a minute. “Want to go to a botanical garden? There’s one not too far from here, I’ve been meaning to check it out but never gotten down to it.” Lexa nodded. “Sounds good, I love flowers. But breakfast first?” Clarke nodded, getting out of bed. “Maybe we could go by home after breakfast too so I can change?”

Lexa nodded. “Yeah of course. You can borrow some pants for now in the third drawer, I’ll go brush my teeth.” She disappeared into the bathroom and Clarke put on a pair of her sweatpants, looking herself over in the small mirror hovering above it before joining her in the bathroom to brush her teeth as well. “What breakfast do you want?” Lexa asked when she finished rinsing her brush and put it back in the cup and brushed her hair whilst Clarke finished up and dried her face on a towel. 

“I don’t know.. whatever you’re having.” She smiled, moving a strand of hair behind her ear as they both walked out to the kitchen. “French toast?” Lexa suggested as she got some coffee brewing. “Do you always eat waffles or french toast for breakfast?” Clarke asked and poured her and Lexa some water. “Just on the weekends mostly, when I have time I like making something more special than a bowl of cereal.” She shrugged, sipping her water. “Well, french toast sounds great.” Clarke said and Lexa started taking out ingredients. “Do you want bacon or berries?” 

Clarke opened her mouth, hesitating. “Hmm.. bacon.” Lexa nodded and took out a pack of bacon. “Here, I’ll do the bacon and you’ll do the french toast.” She offered, finding a scissor and started cutting the bacon in half, and Lexa got her a frying pan before starting with the toast. Clarke turned on the stove and started cooking them as Lexa got started on the egg and milk mix to dip the bread in and Clarke looked at her and smiled. “So what else can you cook? Just breakfast or?” Lexa chuckled.

“Something like that.” she said and Clarke bumped her hip softly against Lexas who smiled. She got another pan, glancing at Clarke. “You’re a masterchef of course.” She guessed and Clarke grinned. “Of course.” Lexa started frying the bread and Clarke grabbed a plate and some paper, putting the bacon on it and started washing the pan. Lexa flipped the breads, putting them on a plate and put in the second batch, going to set the table, pouring two cups of coffee, and putting sugar in Clarkes. “You remember how I take my coffee?” Clarke asked, surprised. “Of course I do.” 

Clarke smiled. “That’s so sweet.” She said with big eyes and Lexa looked at her. “It’s nothing, Clarke” she chuckled, flipping the last of the bread. “I don’t think so.” Clarke grinned, watching her and Lexa glanced back at her with a small blush and nodded before turning back to the toasts, putting them on the plate and turning off the stove. 

“Smells delicious” Clarke said and grabbed the bacon and they both sat down, Lexa putting toast on both their plates, and Clarke scooted the bacon plate over to her after taking a few pieces, taking the syrup and let out a few drops on the bread before cutting into it and took a bite. “Mmm” she let out a satisfied sound and Lexa smiled. “Good huh?” She asked and Clarke nodded enthusiastically. “Amazing.” 

Lexa chuckled and took a bite herself. “Oh yeah.” She said. nodding after swallowing, taking another bite and they both dug into their food. Clarke quickly finished one and took another, taking a sip of coffee and watched Lexa as she ate for a second, graceful as always and Clarke smiled sheepishly before finishing her second french toast, leaning back afterwards as Lexa reached for her coffee, taking two big sips. 

Lexa put down her cup, glancing up at her, surprised to see her watching her. “What?” She asked hesitantly and Clarke smiled. “Nothing.” She took another crispy bacon and ate as Lexa finished her coffee. “If you’re done I just need to clean up and take a quick shower, then we can head out.” Clarke nodded, taking another one of the remaining bacon. “I’ll clean up, you go shower.” she said and got up from her chair. “You don’t have to do that, I’ll do it.” Lexa said, getting up to and Clarke rolled her eyes. “Scram. It won't take me long.” She nudged her shoulder and Lexa hesitated but nodded. “Okay.. thanks.”

She walked out of the kitchen and Clarke started taking everything off the table, started doing the dishes and then wiped her table and cleaned her hands. Just as she was reaching for another piece of bacon Lexa came out and Clarke looked her over.

“Wow” She smiled, taking in her dark blue tight shorts that went right over the knee, a red and blue flannel, buttoned with just one in the middle and a gray tank top underneath. “You look great.” She smiled, walking up to her and tugged softly in the fishbone braid she had her hair in. Lexa smiled with a small blush. “Thank you.” She hesitated, then slowly leaned in to kiss Clarkes cheek and Clarke smiled. “I uh.. I don’t know if we need to bring anything but I packed some sunscreen, water and caps for us. Do you think we need anything else?” 

Clarke shrugged. “Maybe some snacks.. but I have that at home.” She said and Lexa went to get the bag she packed and Clarkes dress and purse from yesterday as Clarke got her shoes on. She grabbed the bag and the pack from Lexa so she could put on hers and a jean jacket and walked out to wait, Lexa coming right behind and opened the car. 

They drove to Clarkes home and Clarke looked around. “Moms car isn’t here so she must be at work.” She said, never able to keep up with her schedule. “Let’s go.” She unlocked the door for them. “Do you.. want to watch tv or something while I get ready? I’ll just need ten minutes.” Lexa shook her head, looking around the place. “That’s alright, I can just wait here.” She nodded at the kitchen right by the hallway. 

“Alright well, take a seat. If you want anything to eat or drink, help yourself.” Clarke said before going up to her room and it’s bathroom, washing her face. It felt so nice. so she considered taking a shower. She could take a quick one.

Lexa seated on one of the kitchen chairs, taking up her phone but soon put it away again and she looked around the homey kitchen when she heard a car drive up and she looked towards the front door, visible through the opening in the kitchen wall. 

She made sure her clothes looked good and weren't wrinkled and rose nervously. She hadn’t met Abby since the ball where she first met Clarke. She wasn’t even sure if Clarke had told her mom anything about her. She heard the car door close and the house door opened only seconds later. Abby walked in, taking off her jacket and shoes, letting go of her bag before looking into the kitchen and spotted her. 

“Hi, ms Griffin.” Lexa said, slightly nervous as Abbys gaze traveled over her for a second, no emotions seen on her tanned face before the woman smiled. “Hello again. It’s Lexa right? You can call me Abby.” She walked up to her and extended her hand so Lexa shook it. “Clarke told me you’d become friends.” She said and Lexa nodded warily, I guess she hadn’t told her about the date. “Yeah that’s right.” Lexa nodded. “We’re going to the botanical gardens, I’m just waiting for Clarke to get ready.” 

Abby nodded and moved to the kitchen counter. “Do you want some coffee, Lexa?” She asked in that charming voice of hers and Lexa shook her head. “No, um.. I’m good. I just had a cup.” Abby nodded and got some coffee brewing for herself before turning back to the guest. “I know this is a bit awkward for me to ask..” Abby started and Lexa swallowed. “But do you think Clarke is okay? She seems to be doing better but she doesn’t talk to me much about it.. maybe she does with you and the girls.” 

Lexa smiled relieved and nodded. “I think she’s okay.. I mean a lot has happened but she’s strong.” Lexa said truthfully and Abby smiled at her again. “That she is.” They both heard steps in the stairs and turned around as Clarke came into the kitchen. “Oh, hey mom.” She smiled. “Hey sweetie, I heard you’re going to the botanical gardens?” Clarke nodded and glanced at Lexa. “Have fun you two.” Abby said and Lexa nodded. “We will, thank you.” 

Clarke quickly grabbed some snacks from one of the cabinets before they left, getting in the car and Clarke looked up the address and put it in Lexas car GPS.

They drove for a while and Clarke glanced at Lexa a few times. “Something wrong? You’ve been quiet the whole drive.. did my mom pester you?” Lexa glanced at her and shrugged. “No.” Clarke turned off the radio and frowned. “Then what?” She asked. Lexa chewed on the inside of her cheek, hesitating. “Just.. why didn’t you tell your mom we were.. dating?” Clarke raised a brow. “Because we’ve only been on one date? Are you saying you’ve called to tell your aunt to tell her?” She asked and Lexa sighed. “No, but I don’t live with my aunt. Where does Abby think you spent the night?” Clarke examined her face, was she actually bothered by this?

“I didn’t lie or anything Lexa. I just don’t tell her where I am all the time? I’m not some fifteen year old who needs permission to leave the house.” She said with a frown, glancing at Lexa. “Yeah of course.. so your mom knows you're into girls too? Our date wasn’t a secret or anything?” Clarke shrugged. “No it’s not.. if it really bothers you I’ll tell you tonight. And yeah, she knows, I think.” 

“You think..?” Clarke smiled sheepishly. “Well I told her I was bisexual when I was a teenager, but I never had a real relationship with a girl. I mean I dated a few and we got together and stuff but no more than that, so my mom doesn’t really know if I’ve ever dated one, and I’ve been with Finn so long, so I don’t know maybe she’s forgotten.” 

Lexa nodded slowly. “Okay, makes sense. And no, tell her when you want to.” Lexa said and Clarke turned the music on again. “Alright.”

They arrived at the botanic gardens and grabbed a map and info flyer. “Anything special you want to make sure not to miss? We might not have time for all of it.” Lexa nodded, looking through the different parts and flowers, and they decided on the different spots they wanted to go to, Lexa getting out a pen from her pocket and drew a path for them so they knew where they were supposed to go all the time. “Smart.” Clarke smiled and looked up at her, Lexa looking up from the map and smiled back at her. “Thanks.” She said and she tucked the papers in her chest pocket. “Let’s go.” 

Clarke nodded and followed her, putting her hair up in a ponytail, the bottom edge of the sweater sweping up a little along with her arms and Lexa glanced at her and the stripe of her bare stomach that got exposed, blushing before looking forward and they followed a cobble path to the first place they had marked on the map.

It was an open place with trees in pink, red, orange and green surrounding them, some the same height as them and some stretching far, far above them. “Woah.” Clarke said, taking it all in and got the camera she had packed in her bag. She took a few pictures as they followed the path, taking it all in. The next stop was inside a big glass building, big ponds taking up most of the place, gorgeous plants floating in the water. “Have you ever been to a garden like this?” Clarke asked, forgetting if she asked her before. “No.. I don’t know why though.” She chuckled. They walked out after a few minutes, feeling the sun heavy on them. “Want some sunscreen? I got you a cap too.”

Clarke got the sunscreen and started rubbing it in her face. “My face isn’t white right?” She turned to Lexa who chuckled. “Hold on.” She rubbed her fingers on her cheek, moving them up her cheekbone and down to her jaw. “There we go..” She said, her fingers remaining on her cheek. Clarke looked up at her with a smile, and she leaned in slowly to give her a soft kiss on the lips, moving back a second later. “Thank you.. want help with yours?” Lexa nodded and Clarke started moving the sunscreen into her face as Lexa took off her jacket and wrapped it around her waist, Clarke going down to lotion her neck and collarbones, tracing her fingers on one of them before moving back. “There we go.” She smiled and held back the bottle. 

They walked past more places they marked on the map, giant gardens with statues like bushes, beautiful rare bushes and plants, and a breathtaking waterfall. Clarke grinned as they arrived at the last stop, a maze made from high colorful bushes. “Hope we don’t get lost.” Clarke chuckled as they walked into it. “I’ll get you to safety.” Lexa chuckled. “Yeah? confident over that?” Lexa raised a brow. “What?” Clarke grinned. “Why don’t we race? Both take their own path, the first one to make it to the other side wins.”

Lexa pursed her lips. “Wins what?” she asked. “The last chocolate bar?” Clarke suggested, Lexa shaking her head. “Okay. A kiss then?” Lexa raised her brows again. “Racing through a maze to win a kiss huh? Are we back in 6th grade?” She teased. “Definitely.” Clarke said, looking up at her before leaning in to kiss her, Lexa moving closer too. All of a sudden Clarke leaned back and moved into a sprint and disappeared into some hidden path. “You snooze, you lose!” She called out and Lexa scrunched her face together before starting to run as well. “Cheater!” She called after her, choosing a path and ran down it, going left, left then right. She heard steps approaching and when she made another turn she saw the opening, heading towards it swiftly when Clarke appeared by her side. She quickened her pace, running through the maze seconds before Clarke and smiled triumphant at her, her breathing hard. 

“I believe..” she started when she noticed what was to the left, a wooden small building, lazed through with green leaves and a door opening. “Want to check it out?” she asked Clarke who nodded and walked inside, walking through into another room with a small fountain in the middle of it and a few benches perched against the walls. “This is cute.” She said, finding another way out, Lexa a few steps behind her. 

The only path out was a small dock, water surrounding it, maybe fifty yards out was a gazebo. It was white wood, ivy and small red flowers going up the walls. She glanced back to make sure Lexa was following her before continuing down the dock, stepping into the gazebo. Lexa walked in just a few seconds after. “This place is really something.” she said, seating on one of the inside benches. Clarke leaned against a plank, looking out at the lake surrounding it. “Yeah it is.” She smiled and turned back to Lexa, going to sit next to her, her breathing still a tiny bit hitched from the running. She looked around, smelling one of the flowers and held it between her fingers before turning back to Lexa and smiled. “Let’s go.” She rose and Lexa followed her lead. Clarke smiled. “I believe I owe you a kiss?” She smiled and Lexa looked down at her. “I mean you don’t have to..” Clarke tugged the flap in her shirt to bring her closer, getting on her toes and pressed her lips against Lexas before she could finish her sentence. Lexa kissed back and they kissed softly, Clarke opening her mouth to suck on her bottom lip, moving her arms around her and tugging her a bit closer. Lexa moved her hands to her neck, deepening the kiss a bit and Clarke let out a small moan before she parted.

“You’re cuter when you don’t talk.” She teased and Lexa grinned. Clarke grinned back when she heard a ding from her phone. They started walking back from the gazebo side by side as she fished it up and looked at her newest notification.

“Bellamy and Murphy took an earlier flight.. they just arrived.”


	15. 15th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not me posting after 5 months ***embarressed emoji***
> 
> lexa meets murphamy

Clarke put the pizzas down on Ravens kitchen table with a small thump. “We might have to order some more, I’m starving.” Raven said and looked over the pile of pizza cartons and Clarke chuckled.

“Well contain yourself a little bit longer, they’ll be here any minute.” She said before glancing at Lexa who came in after her. “Anything I should know about them before they come?”

She asked and Clarke thought for a second before she shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. And don’t be nervous.” She answered with a smile, kissing Lexas cheek when she noticed the brunette stood with more tension than usual and Lexa seemed to relax a little before she looked behind Clarke.

She followed Lexas gaze and turned around to find Raven watching them. “I’m going to throw a shoe at you Reyes.” Clarke said but Raven just smirked.

“Don’t mind me just watching.” She said and Clarke rolled her eyes. The bell rang and she grinned and went to open it, stepping aside so Bellamy and Murphy could get inside, Octavia coming in behind them.

They made it through the door and Clarke threw her arms around them in a group hug and they threw their arms around her as well. “Hello! No one say hi to me or anything!” Raven called and crossed her arms and they parted, Murphy going to do so as Bellamy approached Lexa and looked her over.

“I’m Lexa” she extended an arm and he shook it, glancing at Clarke quickly who joined them. “I heard Clarke upgraded.” He said teasingly and Clarke elbowed him in his side. “Oh shut up.” She said, Lexa looking slightly awkward. So much for not scaring her away. “I’m Bellamy.” He continued and Lexa nodded, giving him a once over.

“You better treat my Clarkey well” He said and Lexa raised a brow. “Your?” she asked and Bellamy chuckled, moving an arm around Clarke and mussed with her hair. “Yeah I was her first boyfriend and oldest friend, so I’m very protective of her.” Clarke made a face, getting out of his grip. 

“You used to date?” Lexa asked and Clarke glared at Bellamy playfully. “He asked me out when he was six and I was five. Not only did he ask me out in front of his mother, but he also gave me a kiss in front of her, and I got mad so I ended our four second long relationship. Devastating love story, I know. I’m pretty sure he only asked me out because his mother liked me. He’s such a mommas boy.”

“That he is.” Murphy said as he approached them with Octavia and Raven, pulling Clarke into a more proper hug before nodding at Lexa. “This is John.. but if you actually call him that you might get punched.” Clarke introduced him to Lexa and Murphy glanced at Clarke before turning back to Lexa. 

“Call me Murphy.” he said and moved an arm over Bellamys shoulders and Lexa smiled. “Will do. I’m-” Murphy interrupted. “Lexa. I heard a lot about you.” He shot a pointed look in Clarkes direction who cleared her throat. “Okay who wants pizza?” She asked as a distraction, hoping Lexa wouldn’t fixate on that and went to open the pizza boxes and get plates and slizers and everyone joined her to grab a few slizes. 

“So how was the honeymoon? Tell me everything!” Raven said and Bellamy and Murphy smirked at her. “Okay not everything. But you know what I mean. The travel stuff and the romantic trips and shit.” 

“Keep out the cheesy love stuff I don’t want to throw up on my pizza.” Octavia said and Clarke rolled her eyes. “I told you Octavia is Bellamy's little sister right?” She asked Lexa who stood next to her. “Yeah, I remember.” She nodded.

“I second what Octavia said.” Raven shot in. “You’re spoiling the fun.” Clarke said and Bellamy threw her an amused look. They moved to the couches and sat down, Clarke tugging Lexa down next to her so she wouldn’t wind up on the edge feeling left out, which she had a feeling she already felt like she was. 

“We er.. we met Wells, actually.” Murphy said and scratched his neck. “Wells? But you didn’t go to Switzerland.. did you?” She asked, Bellamy shaking her head and looking at Murphy a bit annoyed. “He was in France.. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have brought it up.” Clarke forced a shrug. “So he’s doing well then. Great for him. What more did you do? You were gone for way too long.” Murphy snorted. “You can blame that on the history nerd over here. We had to go to every museum, every monument, every..” He pretended to fall asleep and snored, everyone laughing.

“Excuse me for wanting to take advantage of our trip.” He said but chuckled too. “Maybe you should have taken advantage of your husband more.” Raven smirked and Murphy mirrored her expression. “Yeah Yeah.. I doubt he has any complaints in that department.” Bellamy said and ran a hand over his husband's back who smiled. “You have a point.” He smiled. “Gross.” Octavia said and Bellamy rolled his eyes and smiled. 

“I’m thinking you’ll be less grossed out when you’ll see what I got for us.” He got up and grabbed a shoulder bag, going rooting through it and Clarke took the time to glance at Lexa who smiled at her, giving a small nod of confirmation that she was okay. “Ta da!” Bellamy got out six tickets and Octavia snagged one and screamed as Bellamy handed out the rest, including one to Lexa who hesitantly accepted it with a smile. 

“Field level seats? Are you kidding me?!” Octavia grinned and Clarke looked the ticket over. “Damn.. how did you even get a hold of these so close to the game? Must have been a fortune.” Bellamy waved a hand dismissively. “Murphy knows someone who hooked us up.” Bellamy said as everyone inspected the tickets. “Thank you.. you really didn’t have to think of me.. how much do I owe you?” Lexa asked.

“Nothing man, it's on us.” Bellamy gave her a warm smile and she smiled back hesitantly and nodded. “This is gonna be so fucking dope!” Octavia grinned and got up, opening the fridge and roomaged around it before turning back to them, hanging on the fridge door. “What the fuck Raven, since when do you not have beer at home?” Raven just shrugged, her mouth too filled with pizza to say something.

“Alright who's gonna buy? Not it!” Octavia continued and Clarke groaned. “I say the guys go.” Raven said, having finished her bite and Bellamy nodded. “Guess we can do that.” He rose, pulling Murphy with him.

“Take Lexa with you.” Raven said and Clarke frowned. “She’s not a guy.. she stays here.” Raven looked at Lexa expectantly and Clarke turned to her as well. “She’s just being weird, don’t go.” Clarke told her as Lexa looked between them.

“It’s fine.. I was going to offer anyways.” She got up and shot Clarke an assuring smile before joining Murphy and Bellamy. “I’ll come with.” She said and Bellamy smiled. “Great, the more the merrier.” He said before they walked out. 

Clarke glared annoyed at Raven. “What the fuck, way to make her feel unwanted.” She said annoyed, taking a seat next to them and Raven and Octavia both looked at her. “What?” she asked and Raven rolled her eyes. “You never called to tell us how the date went yesterday.. so I asume it had a happy ending? Tell us everything.” Clarkes eyes hit with realisation and smiled. “Oh.. well not that kind of happy ending, no, but it went really well.”

“I’m gonna need like a thousand procent more details.” Octavia said, moving closer. “Well we went to the restaurant and we talked, then we watched a movie at her place with some snacks and wine.” They nodded impatiently, waiting for her to continue. “Um..” She hesitated. “Then we kind of.. kissed a little.”

“Then what?” Raven asked. “We decided we should get some sleep, and since I had wine and my car was there I slept with her.” 

“How was it?” Octavia asked and Clarke raised a brow. “Sleep? Fine..” Raven groaned. “Seriously? You slept in the same bed with the woman who can practically turn straight girls gay with one look and you just slept? I don’t know if we can be friends anymore..” Raven said dramatically.

“We shared a bed once before you freak.. we cuddled, that was nice.. we’re taking it slow remember?” Raven and Octavia shared a look that Clarke chose to ignore and just took another slice of her pizza. 

___________________________________________  
“Is there anything else we need or just beer?” Lexa asked as they walked into the grocery store. “If I know those three as well as I think I do we better get some snacks.” Murphy said and Lexa nodded, grabbing a basket. 

“So how’d the two of you meet?” Lexa asked as they made their way through the store. “Through the girls, actually. Murphy was their highschool classmate.” Bellamy answered. “Wow. you’ve been together since high school?” Lexa asked, and Murphy shook his head. “Actually, it took til my last year in college until we got together.” 

He glanced at his boyfriend who smiled sheepishly, and Lexa sensed some private joke between them about that, but she didn’t want to pry, but apparently they didn’t feel the same way because just seconds after Bellamy glanced at her and asked “So how did the date go last night?” 

Lexa met his gaze, keeping her face in check from showing any surprise or awkwardness. “It went well.. we had dinner then watched a horror movie.” She continued to watch Bellamy, wondering if he was going to break out a cringey ‘if you hurt her..’ speech, but he just smiled friendly.

But then again, no one had to actually say anything like that. It was pretty transparent that every single one of Clarkes friends would try (and fail) to rip her to shreds if she ever did hurt her. Perhaps that’s why she liked them so much, even though she knew none of them were perfect friends in other regards.

But they cared, definitely more than any of Lexas friends cared about her. But then again, now they were Lexas friends as well. At least Raven, and maybe Octavia too. “What movie? Clarke is a bit of a horror movie nut.” Lexa glanced at Murphy as he spoke, trying to remember the title. “Last summer, something..” She said with a shrug. “A classic. What was your favorite part?” 

Surprisingly, it made Lexa blush, if only slightly. “I.. don’t really remember.” She tried to hide her red cheeks by moving her hair forward a bit, but it didn’t seem to have an effect, because Bellamy and Murphy were already sharing a knowing smirk.


End file.
